Before I go any further, I wanna take full responsibility for this outlandish situation that I now find myself in. Yes, it was my fault. Yes, I have learnt my lesson. No, I will never make such a mistake (I hope).
I met TAB @ a wedding a few months ago. He asked for my number and I gave it. Why? I dunno. I guess I was tryna be nice.
(Chemistry = zero. Attraction for him = zero. Possible Future = NEGATIVE). The wedding was on a Saturday. Three days later (Tuesday), he called for the first time, saying he called to hear his baby's voice before going to bed?
Hold Up!!! Baby?? Who? When? Tufai kwa!
TAB lives in a different State, so I have not seen him since that wedding months ago, thank God. He has tried to come and visit me several times, but I've been coming up with excuses. What am I gonna be seeing him for?? For a while, there was no communication between us. Well, there was a one-way communication. He comminicated. I didn't respond. So he stopped calling. Recently, he started calling again. I spoke to him once. Other times, we just texted. I told him clearly that under NO circumstance will I enter any kind of relationship with him. Problem? TAB apparently doesn't understand anything I'm saying. Either that, or I'm speaking alien.
Oh, did I mention that TAB is very guilty of four of my major pet peeves??
1. He can't speak English -
although he's a college graduate.
2. He can't write English -
this is evident in the fact that I cannot understand his texts.
3. He can't spell English -
he just spells something that he thinks is English.
4. He doesn't understand
ANYTHING I say. Does any1 know how 2 translate alien?
He doesn't know my last name, I think. He'll never discover this blog, I hope. Will that stop me from blogging about him? Abso-freaking-lutely not! I'll show you exact texts that have been shared between us. I'm not gonna edit the spellings or any kinda errors, so that you can see what I have been seeing. The texts you see here are exactly the same way on my phone.
Wednesday, Aug 27th 2008. 12:49 AM TAB: Hi I am not happy with u response why all this yanga Me: What yanga are you talking about now? TAB: I told u that I wanna come see u since then u are telling me this week I have a wdeng next week not sure thats yanga I mean the business when I saw u I think u are d one Me: TAB, I cannot be the one. I told you I don't even want a relationship. I am not the one. TAB: What do u want I love 2 take care of lady but I hate yanga Me: This is not yanga. This is me saying no. TAB: Saying no to what? 2 me? Me: To you and to a relationship. I cannot give you what you want. TAB: I want u but I not cracy about u but I got feeling 4 u if I am chanced.
He spelt crazy as
cracy. That was the last straw. At this point, I didn't even bother replying again. I just went 2 bed.
Wed, Aug 27th 2008. 8:48 PM TAB: Why are u still make things hard 4 me? Me: I'm not making things hard for you. You're not crazy about me. I'm not crazy about you. What are we supposed to be doing with each other? TAB: Ok I m cracy about u thats is why am still asking u Me: I don't have time for these games, TAB. You've already said you're not crazy about me and that's fine with me. Whether you're crazy about me or not doesn't matter because I do NOT want a relationship with you. Please understand what I am saying. I am trying very hard to not be mean to you but you're making this very difficult. TAB: Whao u said u don't wanna to be mean this is my point there nothing wrong in disagree 2 agree let move on 2 d next chapter. Me: And what is the next chapter? TAB: To know each other differences dos n dont personality etc. That will help in building a strong n good relationship it will to allow each other for who we are n makes us 2 be constructive n criticising Me: So you didn't me when I said I didn't want a relationship, right? Goodnight, TAB. TAB: Goodnight my Vera (your Vera??? Boy, you done lost yo mind!)
Ever since then, TAB has successfully sent @ least one message everyday. I don't bother replying anyone of them. Two days ago, he sent this one,
"Hi I havent hear from u for a while all am looking for is good woman that is going to be committed caring n loving I am trying 2 communicate this 2 u but if u cannot this requirements let me know then I make a pick d day I saw u"
My response? None. For starters, I don't even understand the text. If any of you wonderful readers understand it, please do explain it to me. I cannot burn valuable brain cells trying to decipher this jargon. The fact that TAB has my number is embarassing enough to me sef. Can you just imagine me and him having a conversation? I will be bald by the end of it because frustration and anger would have led me to pull out all my hair. If I were dead and TAB came to my grave to ask me out, I will wake up and say, HELL NO!!! If I were to take a man like TAB to my parents, they will definitely be disowning me. How will he talk with my parents? I have a blunt, sometimes-impatient mother and a very,
very sarcastic father. Oh, and a Grandma who looks sweet as can be but her words can hurt a rock. The rest of my family will gladly tell him to repeat everything he said, just so that they can laugh. Lai lai.
Mr. TAB, abeg just arrange your dignity and leave me alone oo! You are beneath my capacity!
Gosh, I've been longing to say that for so long. I dunno why I keep volunteering myself into this kind of trouble. I need to go wash my head in the river 4 real. The question I keep asking myself is: How and why did I let this get this far? Better yet, why did I even let it start in the first place?
Anyway, after you're done answering my questions and explaining TAB's text message(s), please take a minute to welcome a new blogger,
Temite
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