So once more, we're coming up to National Day, October 1, when all other cares and worries of the world take a back seat as we celebrate all things Nigerian. We flock to the streets in green and white, play 'Arise O Compatriots', and make merry as we eat jollof rice with dodo and chicken.

But why October 1? Sure, it was the date that we were gifted political independence by the British, but I honestly do not believe that its significance is felt viscerally by many present day Nigerians...

"Ehen, so we are here to discuss how we are going to win the elections. Does anyone have any suggestions?"

"Of course! We are going to win 100% of the votes! Simple!"

"Ah-ah, now, we can't do that - that's too uncouth. Remember, we are in the age of modern democracy - if we do that, those useless people on those websites like the Nigerian Village Square will say that we rigged the elections."

"I agree with you. We want a result that showcases our thriving...