The Village Square - Man-Talk http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/ Forum for men to talk about manly stuff en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 19:11:21 GMT vBulletin 60 http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/styles/webpoint/misc/rss.jpg The Village Square - Man-Talk http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/ Post Partum Depression in Men http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/38773-post-partum-depression-men.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 05:17:24 GMT This project shares how men handle parenting loss...quite touching! http://postpartumdadsproject.org/ This project shares how men handle parenting loss...quite touching!

http://postpartumdadsproject.org/ ]]> Man-Talk Oluwato http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/38773-post-partum-depression-men.html Are Men Impossible To Please...? http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/38713-men-impossible-please.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:33:21 GMT
Quote:
If he calls you and your phone is off, he thinks you’re cheating….then he sends a sms saying “don’t tell me the battery story coz I know that line”

If you TREAT him nicely, he says you are TOO IN LOVE, moving too fast;
If you Don't, he says you are PROUD .

If you DRESS NICELY, he says u are trying to LURE other men;
If you DON?T, he says u are RURAL.

If you ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN, too manly;
If you keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS, a walkover

If you are SMARTER than him, you’re a SHOW-OFF;
If he's SMARTER than you, he is GREAT.

If you don't LOVE him, he tries to POSSESS you;
If you LOVE him, He takes you FOR GRANTED.

If you don't MAKE LOVE to him, he says you DON?T LOVE him;
If you DO, he says you are CHEAP.

If you tell him your PROBLEMS, he says you are TROUBLE;
If you DON?T, he says you don't TRUST him.

If you SCOLD at him, you are treating him like a CHILD;
If he SCOLDS at you, it’s because he CARES for you.

If you BREAK your promise, you cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, it is circumstances beyond his CONTROL.

If you SMOKE, you are BAD girl;
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.

If you do WELL in your career, it's LUCK ;
If he does WELL, it’s definitely BRAINS.

If you HURT him, you are CRUEL;
If he HURTS you, you are too SENSITIVE !!




How are women suppose to get it right????????



Guys, don't go all peeved and defensive about this. Just own up and name one or the several you're or have been guilty of lol:D:D ]]> Man-Talk valteena http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/38713-men-impossible-please.html <![CDATA[Sorry Darling, I can't Do The Vacuuming, It Might Damage My Sperm Count]]> http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/38653-sorry-darling-i-cant-do-vacuuming-might-damage-my-sperm-count.html Mon, 16 Nov 2009 13:09:16 GMT
Quote:
A study has found that household chores – including using a vacuum cleaner or microwave oven – could reduce a man’s chances of having children.

Researchers exposed male volunteers to electromagnetic fields – high doses of which are produced by all electrically charged objects, including refrigerators and vacuum cleaners – and found such exposure could double the risk of having poor-quality sperm.

Fertility expert Dr De-Kun Li said his work provides the first evidence of a link between electrical goods and declining male fertility.

Dr Li, of Stanford University, California, said: ‘I would advise men and couples trying for a baby to reduce their exposure to electromagnetic fields as much as possible.
‘I’m not saying you shouldn’t use a microwave but it makes sense to turn it on, then move away and go back when it is done. Keep devices, especially those with electric motors, away from the body.

The study recruited 148 donors at a sperm bank in Shanghai. Tests showed that 76 had poor sperm mobility, shape or count, while 72 had good-quality sperm.
Those volunteers whose job involved working with high temperatures or being exposed to chemicals linked to sperm damage such as solvents and pesticides were excluded.

Participants were asked to wear meters which took readings of magnetic fields every four seconds for 24 hours on days they considered ‘typical’.
They found that the half of the group who had peak readings above 0.16 microtesla – a measure of magnetic field strength – were twice as likely to have low sperm quality as those with readings below this level.

Dr Li’s team also revealed that the chances of having poor sperm quality increased as the time exposed to higher-strength magnetic fields rose.

He said of the research, due to be published in January in the journal Reproductive Toxicology:
‘This is the first study to show a link between measured electromagnetic fields and poor semen quality in humans, which may provide a logical explanation for why we have seen reductions in sperm quality in men over the past century.’

Although the study did not look at what was producing the magnetic fields, electrical appliances – especially those containing motors such as hairdryers – produce high frequencies and therefore strong magnetic fields.
In previous studies, excessive alcohol consumption, smoking, a poor diet, drug use and obesity have all been shown to reduce sperm count.

Dr Allan Pacey, of the British Fertility Society and a fertility researcher at Sheffield University, said: ‘I believe there might be something in it.
‘If these results are repeated in a bigger study, we need to start thinking seriously about promoting advice about avoiding exposure.’

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...housework.html
Guys here is the perfect excuse to get out of doing those house chores:D even though we know already that most men hate doing housework. What say you guys? ]]> Man-Talk valteena http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/38653-sorry-darling-i-cant-do-vacuuming-might-damage-my-sperm-count.html What would life be without boobs http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/38462-what-would-life-without-boobs.html Tue, 10 Nov 2009 09:37:48 GMT A woman was asked this question and, among other things responded like this: ---Quote--- Na men and children you go ask this question because... A woman was asked this question and, among other things responded like this:

Quote:
Na men and children you go ask this question because those of us with the breast don't appreciate it as much as these other two people. There are men who can't do without breasts. They couldn't do without it as children, they can't do without it as matured men. Some of them sleep on it till dawn. I know a man when doctors were were to cut off the wife's breast, he refused. He quarrelled, cursed the doctors and refused. So, life without breast is life without a pillow. In the past, I used to worry that my boobs were too big until someone told me that a pair of boobs is worth $20,000 in USA. Since then I started appreciating my breasts.
That was a woman's view, how do men view life without boobs. Is she correct that life without breasts will affect men more than the women? Can men actually do without breasts ( i.e. when they are no longer children) ]]> Man-Talk Mikky jaga http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/38462-what-would-life-without-boobs.html Why Is It Difficult For Men To Say Sorry? http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/38027-why-difficult-men-say-sorry.html Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:15:04 GMT Why Is It Difficult For Men To Say Sorry? By Stella Igbasanmi and Omobolanle Oladeinde Adeyemo ALEX waited in the sitting room, looking...
Why Is It Difficult For Men To Say Sorry?


By Stella Igbasanmi and Omobolanle Oladeinde


Adeyemo ALEX waited in the sitting room, looking ruffled and disturbed. On entering the room, Oluchi met her husband with hatred in his eyes. Before she could utter a word, Alex gave her a deafening slap. She broke down in tears. Just then, Oluchi’s uncle walked into the room. After introducing himself as Oluchi’s uncle, Alex bowed his head in shame.

He had mistaken Oluchi’s uncle for a lover. He saw them coming out of a boutique in the neighbourhood. However, instead of apologising, he preferred to use other means to tell his wife that he was sorry.

It is generally accepted that most men find it difficult to tell their wives verbally that they are sorry when they are wrong. While some have argued that it is a show of ego, others hold that it is a sign of weakness. ST Relationship decided to find out why most men find it hard to verbalise the expression, “I AM SORRY.”

Pastor Popoola Taiwo: Some men find it hard to say sorry to their wives or anybody due to inherent ego which to me is better called pride. Though it may appear subtly. Anytime I offend my wife, I do feel too big to say sorry to her but whenever I remember that we are in the same maritalship together and to prevent devil bringing chaos to my marital journey. I do say sorry to her even though as an African man, it is painful.

Pastor Oni: Man finds it difficult to say sorry due to the cultural background. But spiritually, it is not, if there is genuine love and understanding between the spouses.

The cultural settings did not position or influence man to feel remorse for the wrongdoing to the woman why? because, culturally, a man sees a woman as his subject and subordinate so, he have no apology for any wrongdoing. In fact, in African setting, the culture did not position woman well enough. That makes a man to see a woman as a property and not helpmate. When a man wrongs his wife and he is spiritually well equipped, he is expected to apologise even at the expense of that woman’s stubbornness.

But on the other hand, if the woman is too “big enough” to say sorry to her husband, I don’t see reason why the man should, because the wife should be submissive and if she’s not, it will be difficult for the man to say sorry but if that woman is submissive and humble even to a fault, that is enough for a man to say sorry, if he has conscience.

Mr. Akinola Babatunde: Saying sorry is not a big deal but whom it is addressed to is most important. To me, saying sorry to my wife might be a difficult task under certain conditions. I do deluge the “sorry” for certain reasons.

In order not to compromise my superiority — you know the way our better halves of nowadays behave, immediately there is any argument between couple at home and the husband is in the habit of saying sorry, the woman will take it to be pride and will be expecting the husband to always say “Sorry.”

Sorry means acceptance of defeat or allegation. Sorry means you have agreed or accepted the defeat.

Misconception, a wrong perception of the behaviour of the husband by the wife might make the husband believe that saying sorry is not necessary in such a situation. To cap it all, a wife is part of the husband and there is no way a person will hurt his/her part without itching. Sorry is the point.

Mr. Bukola Oguntola: To me, it is not a difficult thing to say sorry. Saying sorry to either wife, friends or even anybody is the most easier way to live, most especially when stress and anger are all over people’s faces in Nigeria. If one does not learn a big way of saying sorry in the world nowadays, one may end up fighting all the time.

And for a personality, fighting means one cannot manage crisis either at home or in the society and it is a general opinion that a person that cannot manage his home cannot in anyway manage a nation. Saying sorry to me is good especially when it does not involve official matters. It is expected of any administrator to be careful with the language ‘sorry’ because it is a complete administrative negligence or incompetence. Therefore, it is only in administration that the word sorry should be carefully handled but outside this, sorry is a simple way of making peace.

Mr. Bashiru Adeyemo: The reason most men find it difficult to say “sorry” to their wives is the women themselves. Whenever there is conflict between a man and his wife, and it is the husband’s fault, the woman will start misbehaving. There will be pride in whatever she says or does. As a result of this, the husband will find it difficult to say sorry.

Mr. Anipupo Olusanjo: I do not see anything wrong in apologising to one’s wife whenever there is misunderstanding between a man and his wife. As for me, I always say sorry to my wife whenever we quarrel. Even if she is the one at fault, I still say sorry. I even prostrate to apologise atimes. I don’t care what anybody says about that. For a man to have a peaceful home, he must always apologise whenever there is conflict between him and his wife.

Mr. Adeyemi Yekini: I think the problem with most men is ego. They feel because they are the head of the house, their wives should always apologise whenever there is conflict between them. As for me, I don’t find it difficult to apologise to my wife whenever there is conflict between us.

Mr. Lawal Yusuf: Saying sorry to one’s wife whenever there is conflict is not something that should be difficult. I do not know why it is difficult for some men. But as for me, it is not difficult at all.

Mr. Biodun Shittu: I can only say sorry to my wife if and only if I am at fault. If she is the one at fault, and she is expecting me to apologise, then she must be making mistakes. Even if heaven comes down. I will never apologise. She also has a right to apologise to me if she offends me. So, it should be vice-versa.

Mr. Lekan Adisa: Being a born-again Christian there shouldn’t be difficulty in saying sorry to one’s wife. I believe once we are married, we are one so, I have every right to apologise to her whenever I offend her and she will also do the same. When a man loves his wife, he shouldn’t find it difficult to say sorry.

Mr. Adebayo: The problem with most men is pride. It is in the African tradition that since a man is the head of the house, the woman should also bow for him. I do not see anything difficult in saying sorry to your wife when you offend her. I am a very humble and generous person. I do apologise to my wife whenever I offend her.

http://odili.net/news/source/2009/oct/26/600.html ]]> Man-Talk Vade Mecum http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/38027-why-difficult-men-say-sorry.html He Left Me For My Friend And Met His End; Am I To Blame? http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/38026-he-left-me-my-friend-met-his-end-am-i-blame.html Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:04:27 GMT He Left Me For My Friend And Met His End; Am I To Blame? Monday, October 26, 2009 Dear Readers, It is a strange world we live, where...
He Left Me For My Friend And Met His End; Am I To Blame?

Monday, October 26, 2009

Dear Readers,

It is a strange world we live, where friends snatch their friends' husband Our writer today needs your advice to go on with her life after her husband left her for her best friend. Please, read and advise her. Thanks, Monica Taiwo.

Dear Taiwo,

My name is Funmi. I met my husband in Ondo State after my NCE programme. We were friends for sometime but later things started getting serious between us. Dare was very understanding and caring and, moreover, we are from the same town. This earned him my family's love.

Dare was not educated; he dropped out of school because of financial constraint. I didn’t see that as a problem because I believe Dare would go back to school when things get better for him.

In the interim, he learnt tailoring somewhere in town. The love I had for him then did not allow me to see anything wrong in what he was doing.

I got transferred to Ibadan to teach in a primary school and, after, I persuaded Dare to join me so that we could continue our relationship. He did not agree at first, but after so much persuasion, he agreed. We started living together.

For about three years, Dare could not lay his hands on anything; he was always complaining that there were no customers. When things did not get better, he said he wanted to be a cab driver, I agreed with him and we saved some money and bought him a Mistibushi car.

After some months, I discovered that I was pregnant and well, Dare did not deny this and he was ready to marry me. My parents were not happy with me because I got pregnant before marriage, but because Dare was ready to have my hand in marriage they had no choice, they conceeded. The wedding day was fixed and we started preparing.

I called my childhood friend, Funke, to inform her of my intentions and also to ask her to be my chief bride’s maid. Funke had been in Ibadan before I relocated there. She and I went for shopping in preparation for the wedding.

Funke was very supportive even after the wedding, she was a shoulder to lean on. Our friendship took another dimension after; we got closer.

I forgot to tell you that she was a fashion designer too and things were quite okay with her, so I advised her to try and get a man to settle down with and to this, we started praying for a God-sent man who would be her husband.

In due time, God answered our prayers; a brother to one of her customers showed interest in her and after some months, they did introduction and started living together; this was when I had my first baby, a girl.

Just like a true friend, Funke played a prominent role during the naming ceremony; it was as if it was her child and after some months, she also became pregnant, and my advice to her as a friend was that she should formalise the wedding so that she would not have the baby out of wedlock. She took my advice and got married.

After some years, my husband started behaving funny; he started keeping late nights. He neglected his responsibilities at home and stopped caring for the children.

I became worried over this and raised the issue with him, but all to no avail; he wouldn't bulge.

I was itching so much to pour out my mind to someone but I couldn't since Funke rarely came visiting like before and I was also very busy with my work. However, I went to our home town to report Dare to his people; I didn't know I was digging the grave for my marriage. By the time I got home, Dare had completely abandoned the children and went away.

The children later told me that he came the night I left for Ondo, asked after me and went ahead to pack some of his clothes and went out that night. I was perplexed when I heard this. Where could he have gone to?

Nobody knew his whereabouts. I tried to look for him, but to no avail. On a fateful day, Lekan, one of my children, said he saw him around Funke’s place at night. My heart beat with hope and I thought I had found my man. But the boy reported that when Dare saw him, he didn’t say anything but went in quietly into Funke’s apartment.

I was shocked and confused and wondered what he could be doing in Funke’s flat at that time of the night. When Lekan sensed I was very worried he let the cat out of the bag. He said one of Funke's sons in his school had told him secretly that Dare had been in their house all these while.

I was so confused at that piece of information that I almost ran crazy. I cried myself to sleep that night. The following morning, I decided to see Funke to confirm what Lekan had told me. To my surprise, I saw Funke with a bulging tummy! Of course, she couldn’t have been impregnated by her husband who had been in London.

She was shocked when she saw me but she summoned courage and confronted me when I asked about Dare. To my utmost shock, Funke ordered me out of her house and warned me not to come there again. She shouted on me and called me all sorts of names.

I was dumbfounded even as passersby were asking me what happened, I couldn’t say anything. I couldn't believe Dare and my best friend could connive to do this to me. I accepted my fate and pulled myself together.

I knew I needed the strength to bring up my children and to continue with my life. I got closer to God. However, I later learnt that Dare and Funke had packed out of the house to live in a street, not quite far from ours.

Funke gave birth some months after and had a baby boy. I learnt that some people in our street attended the naming ceremony. I didn't allow that to bother me as I was ready to go on with my life without him.

It wasn't long after this, that I heard the rumour that Dare was sick and was admitted to a hospital. I pitied him and wanted to go and see him, but I didn't want Funke to see me and start calling me names. Things, however, did not get better for him because he died after some weeks.

I felt terrible and cried bitterly. As if this was not enough, some weeks after, Funke also died mysteriously. Taiwo, this was the last straw that broke the camel's back. People on the street believed I did something; they accused me and called me a witch, alleging that I was the brain behind their deaths.

This was enough pain for me and my children. How could I have done a thing like that, after all he left me and my children and met his end. How am I to be blamed? Please, advise me on what to do.

http://odili.net/news/source/2009/oct/26/600.html ]]> Man-Talk Vade Mecum http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/38026-he-left-me-my-friend-met-his-end-am-i-blame.html What Do Today’s Women Want? http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/37936-what-do-today-s-women-want.html Sat, 24 Oct 2009 00:30:37 GMT What Do Today’s Women Want? By Abiodun Awolaja http://www.tribune.com.ng/23102009/opinion.html You would probably dismiss this as the...
What Do Today’s Women Want?
By Abiodun Awolaja

http://www.tribune.com.ng/23102009/opinion.html

You would probably dismiss this as the effusions of an antiquated brain, but what the heck do I care I’m a young man, a delightsomely handsome Christian (Want to see my pix? ), and what I’ve got to say is true anyway. Yes, what really do these women want? In one breath, they sing emancipation, in another, they assault their own dignity. Pretending to play tennis, Serena Williams and co-travellers bare it all.

This is no jokeyou can actually tell the colour of their panties. You see, men won’t readily admit it, but one big reason why they love the sports pages in our dailies is the amount of nakedness they present. The sports pages feature European football stars and their debased girlfriends, and men find this amusing.

And in Nollywood, Hollywood and other woods, the women parade their front and back as if that is the best way to earn their daily bread. Make no mistake about it breasts are vital to any nation’s well-being. Scientists say children who boast a rather sharp brain are those who suck their mama’s breasts to perfection.

And a husband has every right to bake, roast, fry, grill, or boil his wife’s flower any way he likes it, if you get my metaphor. She is his wife. Indeed, what man wants a wife who cannot kiss him to perfection? She would be an utter fool not to. Another woman would simply take her place, except the husband is a genuine Christian. But to advertise and fail to deliver why, that’s a military crime.

The celebrity ladies are committing a crime by parading their dirty breasts around. Please go buy a bra and close yourself up: it isn’t expensive. We, correct men, are not freaked by such dirty things. It is strange flesh. We want a woman, a gem, a rose, a pearl, a ruby; in short, pure gold that we can value; yes, a woman, a mother who will give us a decent, calming kiss when we return from work, exhausted; a partner who will keep her door locked to outsiders’ view. Not the come-see-my-bottom or come-see-my-breast type. For me, if my wife shows my secret to any other man, then she should simply be hanged.

Today’s women have been deceived. They crave men’s respect, yet do not respect themselves. You see all manner of breasts most of them second hand or third handon the streets. On an okada (motorbike) recently, one had to scream at a girl to go back home. She was parading a kwashiorkor bottom; her jeans trouser could not contain her sickness. Indeed, you see old women parading their breasts and even their womanhood without any sense of shame.

In committing these crimes, the women would appear to be aided by contemporary clergy, parents and music. Nowadays, you find people claiming to be called of God to preach the Christian gospel and pastoring whores. These pastors encourage their fold to commit fornication by saying such things as “Tell somebody that you love him,’’ and encouraging their girls to hug boys. What a man who would hug a lady and not feel some vibrations?.

As for music, I’m yet to fathom what DJ Zeez means by his your-brain-has-scattered hit. (O4kasibe). Well, in one sense, these ladies’ brains have truly fon-ka-sibe-d; that is, rusted. This fokasibeisation(rust) is evidenced by their uncovered bodies. But they should go a step further by yanking off any form of clothing at all.

That would interest Lucifer and his fellow angels. The feminists describe those of us who advocate the dignity of womanhood as “ignorant and insecure individuals who equate naked with evil.’’ Indeed, not too long ago, a British guy coaxed his staff into working naked for a full day.

The staff did, claiming that this gave them an amazing sense of bonding. The story was entitled “The office of bare trading.’’ One foresees a similar situation in Nigeria soonest. That is how the feminists want to develop society.

Awolaja is one of the staff of the Nigerian Tribune. ]]> Man-Talk Vade Mecum http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/37936-what-do-today-s-women-want.html Is It Right To Marry A Pregnant Woman? Is It Beyond Pardon? http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/37935-right-marry-pregnant-woman-beyond-pardon.html Fri, 23 Oct 2009 23:52:26 GMT Is It Right To Marry A Pregnant Woman? Is It Beyond Pardon? Friday, October 23, 2009; Bridget Amaraegbu ...
Is It Right To Marry A Pregnant Woman?
Is It Beyond Pardon?

Friday, October 23, 2009; Bridget Amaraegbu

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2009/10/2...pregnant-woman

Ngozi, an unmarried teenage mother had her first baby three years ago. To her dismay today, she is pregnant for her second baby. How could this have happened and how is she going to cope? The single mother remembered the heart break, severe pains and agony that trailed her first pregnancy following the refusal of her boyfriend, Charles, to accept responsibility of the child.

Can she do it again on her own or should she succumb to the demand of an elderly divorcee who has no child and is willing to give anything to marry her and take care of the unborn baby? What would people think of her? Do you think it’s wrong for Ngozi to marry this man with her pregnancy? Find out what the stars have to say. Excerpts:

Outright adoption, the answer — Obiwon, Musician

I’m not going to say whether it is right or wrong for a man to marry a pregnant woman but the man who does so should have it at the back of his mind that the biological father of this child might come for his child someday in the future. Also, remember that God has a way of blessing his people. So, it’s possible for the man who married this pregnant woman to have more children from the woman if he’s able to take good care of the child, not minding the fact that he is not the biological father. If he’s able to have more children from this woman, it would then be easier for him to release my child to me whenever I come for him or her.

Obiwon

The truth remains that every reasonable man will want to have his child back, no matter the circumstance that led him to deny the pregnancy in the past. If I’m in the shoes of this biological father we’re talking about, I’ll surely do my best to get the child back. But it has to follow a gradual process. I’m not going to fight the woman who’s the mother of my child to claim this child because I rejected her in the past, and I’ll not also fight the man who adopted my baby because if not for him, only God knows what could have become of this mother and child. So, it’s going to take a whole gradual process because I don’t even expect the child to forgive me.

So, I’ll start by asking for their forgiveness, and if they’re able to forgive me, I can now extend my request to at least visiting the child and making him or her realise that I’m truly sorry for my actions in the past.

Yes, I don’t expect them to forgive me immediately but I know that with time, the child will get to realise that any other man could have made a similar mistake. So, I should be forgiven. And if they refuse to forgive me after all my effort to reconcile with them, then I’ll let go because in this case, the child has a right to choose whom to stay with.

So, I can’t force myself on him if he doesn’t want me. But I know that someday, the child will want to see me when he or she is grown up and realises that there’s a biological father somewhere. There’s no way the child will not look for me, especially when it’s a male child. Even if the child in question is a female, a day will come when she’ll still have to look for her biological father.

But I’ll want to use this opportunity to advise all those who’re planning any form of adoption to avoid all the trouble that could come with issues relating to this. So, the best thing to do will be to go through outright adoption. When you do that, you actually do not know the real parents of the baby you’ve adopted. Though in our own part of the world, people frown at any story related to child adoption, I still think it’s better than marrying a pregnant woman where you have to go through all the fight with the biological father and mother of the baby.

Our level of exposure has not got to that stage where we can associate with persons of different cultural backgrounds as if we’re one and I pray that we get there soon because every man created in the image and likeness of God is one.

For the young men amongst us who want to play a fast game, always remember to play safe and if you impregnate a woman for any reason, carry your cross. Shoulder your responsibility to avoid crying and fighting for your baby in the future.

Nothing’s wrong with it — Etcetera, Musician

I don’t see anything wrong in marrying a pregnant woman. If I impregnated a woman and refused to take custody of the pregnancy, it means I should be able to let her have custody of the baby. I understand that she must have passed through so much pain because I denied her in the first place. So, it will only be humane for me not to hurt her anymore by wanting to claim the child in the future. I’ll let her leave peacefully with the child wherever and with whoever she pleases because I didn’t play my own role when it was necessary.

Besides, I don’t see anything wrong if this child is happy staying with the mother and the adopted father, if he’s well taken care of. I will only be tempted to go for the baby if he or she is being maltreated in anyway. But if the child is given a sound education and lacks nothing, then there will be no need to bother myself about the child. Don’t forget that by so doing, I would have solved someone’s problem somewhere and life is all about being happy.

My child is not for sale — Guy P, Musician

My dear, whether I denied the pregnancy or not, I’ll not allow another man to take custody of my child. Once I’m able to identify the whereabouts of this child, I must recover him or her because he or she is my blood and won’t live with a foreigner. Yes, I may have made the mistake of denying the pregnancy as a young man who wasn’t ready to settle down but that does not mean I’m interested in selling my child to any man.

I’ll do whatever I can to have my child back. Whether the people involved are wealthy, influential or not, they won’t intimidate me. Even if the child refuses to stay with me, I’ll still do my best to get him back.

A mistake with deadly consequences — Scott Robert, Actor

Look, any man who goes as far as marrying a pregnant woman is making a big mistake because it’s not only likely that the biological owner of the pregnancy will come back for his child but it’s a must that this child will someday look for his or her father.

Let me speak for myself and the truth is, if I impregnate any woman, even if she’s a cripple, I’ll marry her because I can’t imagine my own blood in a foreign land. So, I won’t give any man that opportunity of wanting to own my child for any reason. For those guys who shy away from their responsibility, I think something is wrong with them somehow. Sometimes, I ask myself why would any man deny his pregnancy and allow the woman to suffer alone? If you think you’re not old enough to father a child, then you’re not man enough to take a woman to bed or where have all the condoms in Naija gone to?

There’s something I want to let you know and that is that even the young man who refused to take responsibility of a particular woman whom he had impregnated will surely come back for his child in future. Any man who decides to marry a pregnant woman will only succeed if the real owner of the pregnancy never got to know about it. Even if you have to marry a pregnant little girl because you don’t have a child, you should allow her put to bed and marry her later. Don’t marry another man’s blood. I advise you because if you do, you’ll surely face the consequences.

A risky venture — Emmanuel Ojo, Graphic artist

My friend, please don’t try to do any such thing.

Yes, it is possible that the owner of this pregnancy in question may not be willing to accept it for now but danger lies ahead because the real owner of the pregnancy will surely come for it someday in the future.


I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with marrying a pregnant woman if she gives you her consent. But I’m looking at what the future holds for the man who decides to marry another man’s pregnancy. Don’t forget that the real owner of the pregnancy could make a comeback in future and the consequences, you never really can tell because there’s every likelihood that the baby may not have an option than to go with his biological father, especially now that we have the DNA test at our finger tips. Even if the biological father did not come for this child, the child could go looking for him if he gets any signal that he’s living in a foreign land. So, I think it’s a very risky venture to go into.


http://www.vanguardngr.com/2009/10/2...regnant-woman/ ]]> Man-Talk Vade Mecum http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/man-talk/37935-right-marry-pregnant-woman-beyond-pardon.html