Dede Omo Ijebu Alare, Moti Fule ooo.

[faithy]

Welcome Papabaks,

as you can see from your warm welcoming that you have truly arrived among your people, have fun, and be nice, just translate for those that do not understand, and for the rest of you villagers I am still awaiting my official welcome ooooo

[Abraxas]

Hi, folks!

'E be like sey, de JJC wey get dis interview done abandon 'im passport for Village High Commission, pick race, go back to 'im original de main de main village of origin for Ijebu Igbo, dey smoke miscellaneous indigenous paraporized vegetables!

Abasi mbok! (... as Calabar man dey take pray when 'e enter trouble, as usual) Wetin wey man pikin no go see for dis Village Twin Towers Complex? O, Abasi mbok!!

Muchas gracias.

Don Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS (III)
(W-i-C)

[papabaks]

"Papabaks,
Can u pls tell us more about LAMATA, and what you do there? Hope your weekend is interesting thus far?
Is LAMATA responsible for Motor Vehicle inspections, and free flow of traffic?""

"EMJ"
How you dey for Village, well LAMATA is an organization that is taking the whole responsibility, in response to the enormous transport challenges in the ever-expanding Lagos metropolis, the state Government establish the Lagos Metropolitan Area Transport Authourity (LAMATA), with the world Bank's collaboration in the form of technical adviser, a programme designed to facilitate a sustainable and effective integrated transport system for the Lagos Metropolis, and in doing so, contribute to poverty reduction.

OUR VISION.
LAMATA's long-term dream is to be a foremost facilitator of a sustainable and effective integrated transport system.

THE MISSION.
LAMATA is to transport the state transport system by facilitating an enabling environment through committed and credible professionals working as a team, employing transparent methods, thereby adding value to the quality of life.

I think with this we can all understand what LAMATA stands for, and its roles in Lagos State.

One Love

I don go oo
" Mo ti lo ooo"

papa

[emj]

Originally Posted by papabaks

"Papabaks,
Can u pls tell us more about LAMATA, and what you do there? Hope your weekend is interesting thus far?
Is LAMATA responsible for Motor Vehicle inspections, and free flow of traffic?""

"EMJ"
How you dey for Village, well LAMATA is an organization that is taking the whole responsibility, in response to the enormous transport challenges in the ever-expanding Lagos metropolis, the state Government establish the Lagos Metropolitan Area Transport Authourity (LAMATA), with the world Bank's collaboration in the form of technical adviser, a programme designed to facilitate a sustainable and effective integrated transport system for the Lagos Metropolis, and in doing so, contribute to poverty reduction.

OUR VISION.
LAMATA's long-term dream is to be a foremost facilitator of a sustainable and effective integrated transport system.

THE MISSION.
LAMATA is to transport the state transport system by facilitating an enabling environment through committed and credible professionals working as a team, employing transparent methods, thereby adding value to the quality of life.

I think with this we can all understand what LAMATA stands for, and its roles in Lagos State.

One Love

I don go oo
" Mo ti lo ooo"

papa

gbere ojare Papabaks.....thanks for giving us the low down about what LAMATA DOES.

If you don't mind, can you please start a Thread, or i will with your permission in the Main square or Lounge when am less busy to further discuss ways and means of us Diasporans contributing to the said Poverty Alleviation /reducing.....i.e proferring solutions to the Migraine inducing problem of transportation in Lagos and it's environs

[Vade Mecum]

PAPABAKS


OGA PAPABAKS, MAKE YOU GO READ OTHER JJC THREADS,

MAKE YOU KNOW HOW TO INTRODUCE YASEFF.

AND KNOW TOO WETIN YOU FIT POST FOR HERE

MAKE YOU NOR LET US GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN O,

OTHERWISE NA WHERE THINGS FOR BAD PASS FOR

AFGANISTAN WE DEY GO THROWAY YOU PUT.



Tony Okosun

Fineje Bouncer-In-Chief

[papabaks]

Hey Tony, Afghanistan is not a bad place actually, so far people live and work over there, one can easily find his/her way out Ok.

One thing is that i don't follow the crowd to do things, I try to do things in my own way and I really enjoy that because it keeps me going in life, so TONY you don't have to do things the way others are doing thing you just have to be different and that is what will attract others you, just to find out how best you can go with your own style, Ok Tony?

After all life, time and human are not the same.

One love to all especially you Tony

One Love.

papa

[papabaks]

Hey my Brother, I gbadun that Signature of yours (ENI OLORUN DA KOSE CLONE), You are absolutely right, because you can never see any one like you in the while universe.

consigning creating a new tread on how to deal with transportation problem in Lagos with the help of LAMATA, am already working on that and you will see it very soon, I just need some time to settle down.

Moreover, You don't need to worry about that, because i got allot with me for us to discuses and find a better way to go about them, most especially in Lagos and outside Lagos, even in entire Nigeria as a country.

All am doing for now is just introduce myself, remember an adage that says " EWURE TO WOLE TIO KI AGO, OHUN LO N DI ERAN AMUSO, AGUNTAN TO WOLE TIO KAGO OHUN LO N DI ERAN AMU SE ETUTU". Meaning " Any one who enter into a place and does not give regards to whom its been due to he/she will end up blaming his/her self.

Hope my regard is been accepted?

I Love you all.
"Dede ara ri mo fi ki dede wen o"

papa.

[papabaks]

A BIG HELLO TO EVERY ONE IN THE HOUSE, HOPE ALL IS COOL?

I WAS JUST GOING THROUGH MY PRIMARY SCHOOL RESULTS AND BEGIN TO REMEMBER ALL THOSE OLD TIME HISTORY AND FUN, AND I REALIZED THAT WE ARE REALLY MISSING A LOT IN OUR TODAYS SO CALLED EDUCATION.

OR WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK?

YOUR OPINION IS ALL NEEDED.


EJE KA SO WO PO KAFI IMO SE OKAN.

IREEE OOOOO



papa

[Gentle Angel]

Papabaks, you can open up a thread in the lounge section downstairs and to your right and start this discussion. Or you may want to consider contributing to the drama on what you did in secondary school also going on there. The VTT floors where we are right now are only for those seeking a valid visa for our village of origin.

Good luck as I look forward to learning more from you and reminiscing on those old days of fun.

[papabaks]

Cool hello to you all out there

Being quiet does not mean i don't Feel, Understand or appreciate what every body is trying to pass across to me or to all the VILLAGERS, but one thing I also will like to pass across is " You can't pretend to be someone else you are not, you can only be yourself"

I think I deserve a worm welcome From the villagers.

Am not ashame to be an IJEBU man for God sake.

I AM THAT I AM, AND I WILL ALWAYS BE WHAT I AM BECAUSE I AM THAT I AM HAVE MADE ME TO BE WHAT I AM.

2PAC Says " IF U DON'T C ME YOU DON'T JOURGE ME"

EMI GANGAN LEMI WON KO NI FI ELOMINN SE MI, EMI GANGAN LEMI NNNN.

ESE GAN.

Thank you.
papa

[calist]

Originally Posted by papabaks

Cool hello to you all out there

Being quiet does not mean i don't Feel, Understand or appreciate what every body is trying to pass across to me or to all the VILLAGERS, but one thing I also will like to pass across is " You can't pretend to be someone else you are not, you can only be yourself"

I think I deserve a worm welcome From the villagers.

Am not ashame to be an IJEBU man for God sake.

I AM THAT I AM, AND I WILL ALWAYS BE WHAT I AM BECAUSE I AM THAT I AM HAVE MADE ME TO BE WHAT I AM.

2PAC Says " IF U DON'T C ME YOU DON'T JOURGE ME"

EMI GANGAN LEMI WON KO NI FI ELOMINN SE MI, EMI GANGAN LEMI NNNN.

ESE GAN.

Thank you.
papa

Papabaks,

You are highly welcome to NVS, the only village with out stress.

It is good to have you still interested in the out come of this thread.

Without wasting much of your time, as it is not in the interest of the VTT to keep visa applicants waiting, you are welcome to the final stage of your interview process; do respond to these interview questions; after which your welcoming party shall follow accordingly.

a) Why do men grow bald more often than women?
b) He who forgives gain victory true or false?
c) Provide 5 reasons for (b)

I look forward to the stimulating moment you have to offer in the square as I expect your prompt response.

Do remember to always translate words which are not in English language, for the enjoyment of other villager.

@ TIO Gentle Angle; kindly inform the jigida dancers and fuji musicians to get the stage ready cos there are reasons for igbaladun in the village.

Calist
Senior Visa Review Officer
NVS

[papabaks]

Originally Posted by calist

Papabaks,

You are highly welcome to NVS, the only village with out stress.

It is good to have you still interested in the out come of this thread.

Without wasting much of your time, as it is not in the interest of the VTT to keep visa applicants waiting, you are welcome to the final stage of your interview process; do respond to these interview questions; after which your welcoming party shall follow accordingly.

a) Why do men grow bald more often than women?
b) He who forgives gain victory true or false?
c) Provide 5 reasons for (b)

I look forward to the stimulating moment you have to offer in the square as I expect your prompt response.

Do remember to always translate words which are not in English language, for the enjoyment of other villager.

@ TIO Gentle Angle; kindly inform the jigida dancers and fuji musicians to get the stage ready cos there are reasons for igbaladun in the village.

Calist
Senior Visa Review Officer
NVS

@ Calist, I really appreciate u my brother,Home is my Home, VILLAGE is my Home and I've come to stay no matter d circumstance.

In regard to the final stage of my interview process:

Question A: Why do men grow bald more often than women?

Definitely a real Man most of the time grew bald head.

Man becomes bald through venery, because that is letting forth of natural humidity and heat. And so by that excess in carnal pleasure moisture is consumed which is the nutriment of the hair and therefore baldness doth ensue. And this is evidently proved in eunuchs and women who do not grow bald, because they do not depart from their moistness; and therefore eunuchs are of the complexion of women.

Likewise Male pattern baldness, also known as androgenetic alopecia, is a hereditary form of hair loss. Male pattern baldness is by far the most common cause of hair loss, affecting over 10 million men in the Nigeria. To fully understand what goes on in male pattern baldness, let's briefly revisit the hair cycle “Hope we still remember else you better go and get your ABABIO Text book, Some hair follicles begin to shrink, producing finer, shorter hairs ("peach fuzz").

This is what accounts for thinning of the scalp. These changes usually start at the temples, appearing as the classic "receding hairline." It also occurs on the crown of the scalp. Eventually, hair follicles may begin to die, leading to hair loss. Bald spots may increase in size until the entire top of the head is bald with hair remaining only on the sides.

Another truth is that, baldness is a very complicated genetic trait that may be inherited from either the mother or father's side of the family (or both). And it can even skip generations.

LIVING ALL THIS SCIENTIFIC DEFINITION,

Biblically Man is said to be the head of a House and as a head of a house you must provide all it takes to be head,and your wife as a supporting vessel, I think in doing this Man always become stressed, and one major factor that bring about bald head is too much stress.

Question B: He who forgives gain victory true or false? Yes

Question C: Provide 5 reasons for (b)

1. What so ever you sow you shall reap
2. Read the Lords Prayer.
3. When someone hurt or offends you and you hold onto it, it keep hurting you personally any time you see the fellow or remember the scene.
4. When you don't forgive others, their is tendency that you will always look muddy and stress which can bring about Bald head .
5. You will definitely make it to heaven at last if you forgive others because Jesus forgave us and he made it to heaven.

Thanks very much for Your Kindness.
See you at the Square.
papa

[calist]

Oh yes you have truly come to stay in this we wonderful village of no wahala, the only Papabak without imitation or counterfeit on NVS.

To say I did not enjoy and at the same time learn enough lessons from your response is an understatement.

I will strongly advise you make enough money available for madam as she would have to go to the market to purchase the items necessary for your welcoming igbaladun to night.

As I have being duly informed that the musicians, dancers and that bobo’s way dem dey call basket mouth and gandoki are standing by to be motioned.

Please exercise a little patient as the Adviser General Dimaanu will be joing you shortly.

@ AG Dimaanu, this is bringing Papabaks file to your notice. I’m Happy to inform you that He has successfully fulfilled and pass with flying colours in all the stages of the interview process.

Regards

MS Calist
SVRO
NVS

[purple]

Sir,

I notice that you are in the road transport sector by your details posted below -

BAKARE OLUWASEUN
Lagos Metropolitan Area Transport Authority (LAMATA)
Block C 2nd Floor Motorways Centre,
Motorways Avenue, Alausa,
Ikeja, Lagos.

Tel: 01- 2702778-82 ext 124

Email: papabaks@gmail.com
Mobile: 234-806-505-7606

It is a privilege to have a public official like you amongst us in the Village as it opens up access to seek information. You may or may not have read the article titled Where is Nigeria Heading which was posted at NVS couple days ago. This article contained horrific photograps of the charred remains of our countrymen following a road accident. As reported the human remains were left at the site. Can you please tell villagers who is responsible for removing human remains from our roads and Highways (especially the Lagos/Ibadan Express Road)?

It would really be helpful if you can supply us with names of the agency(ies), names of their officers, telephone numbers, or email addreses. The goal is to reach out to this people and remind them of their job description.

My apologies for bumping in on your interview. It is just that I felt you may be of some assistance in this matter.

Respectfully
Purple

[Dimaanu]

Don Juan Carlos ABRAXAS (III)
Welcomer-In-Chief of all NVS-compliant JJCs and Repentant Villagers.
Village Twin Towers Complex (200th floor)
NVS-Cyberspace


November 8, 2007


Dear Oga,


RE: PAPABAKS

In recognition of the tenacity of the above-named JJC, his level headedness which is obvious from the fact that he did not join in the free-for-all-fight recorded in the history of this thread and finally, because there is an urgent need to send Mr.Papabaks to the Main Square (see Erelu Purple's post), I ask that you please approve his visa application.


Thank you, Sir, for aceeding to this request.


Your loyal servant,

Dimaanu
AG

[Abraxas]

The Village High Commission

200th Floor, The Twin Tower Complex, The Square NV1SQ, Cyberspace.

Official Website: http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com

Reference: VTT/JJCAMB/PB7.002.Cap 11/60.Vol.4Q./87510229/.ApdxXXXIII

Date: Friday, 9 November 2007.


Hi, Mr.Papabaks (JJC)!

Congratulations!

Two (2) solid GBOZAs to you for conducting yourself very well, and successfully completing your visa interview.

I am writing to say that the time limit and conditionalities attached to your entering our Village of origin have been removed. An appropriate endorsement has been placed on your passport, which is enclosed.

You are now free to remain permanently in our very beloved Village of origin. You do not require any permission from anybody, to take or change employment in the Village Twin Towers Complex or any other Village Virtual Community for that matter. You may engage in any activity, provided you comply with the constitution of our dearly beloved Village of no regret.

Finally, by the powers conferred upon me, on behalf of all Villagers and JJCs, I do hereby cordially, and very wholeheartedly, welcome you on board the Nigerian Village Square, the flagship of Nigeria in cyberspace, as a fully authenticated citizen of this Village.

We all look forward to your active participation in the Square, as you now leave the Village Twin Towers Complex. We also expect that you show some level-headedness, objectivity, consistency, maturity, and good interpersonal skills in your interactions with others, whenever YOU are on the Square.

Once more, welcome on board the Nigerian Village Square, the default home page of the Nigerian cyber-literati, worldwide.

TEMPORARY TRANSIT VISA APPROVED.

Muchas gracias.

Don Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS (III).
(His Eminence, Sheikh Sadiqq d’Fcuk of Sakkwato Khalifate, Darfur & Dubai Emirates)
(Welcomer-in-Chief of all NVS-compliant JJCs in the Eastern & Western Hemispheres, and beyond.)

cc: Director of Laptop Operations, Office of His Excellency (250th Floor) away without leave (AWOL)
cc: Chairperson, Board of Trustees, JJC Admission Matters Bureau (200th Floor) on extended official world cruise.
cc: Adviser General (JJCAMB), (105th Floor).
cc: Director General, Village Homeland Security, DG-VHS. (69th Floor)
cc: Database Administrator, DA. (Basement Level 11)
cc: Senior Visa Review Officer, SVRO. (97th Floor)
cc: Bouncer-in-Chief, B-i-C. (Main Entrance Gate House)
cc: Trainee Special Assistant (TSA) to the AG (104th Floor)
cc: Trainee Visa Review Officer (Pre-inspection), TVRO. (97th Floor)
cc: Trainee Interrogation Officer, TIO. (69th Floor)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

APPENDIX 1:

Revised Standard Version (RSV) translated from Original Brokin Edition (OBE) of the Gospel according to Mama Iyabo.


Story, story, (story). Once upon a time, (time, time!):

And so, it came to pass that, in the good old olden days, a lady approached her priest and said:

"Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say,'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible," the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male talking parrots that I taught to pray, and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

"Thank you!" the woman responded.

The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads, and praying in their cage. The lady put her two female parrots in with the male parrots, and the female parrots said:

"Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looked at the other male parrot and exclaimed:

"Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"

That is the end of my first story for today.

Muchas gracias.

DJ-CA (003)
W-i-C

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

APPENDIX 2:

Revised Standard Version (RSV) translated from Original Brokin Edition (OBE) of the Gospel according to Saint Bottles (The Pious)

Story, story, (story). Once upon a time, (time, time!):

And so, it came to pass that, in the good old olden days, young Master Peter Odili came home from primary school one day, and found his pet chicken laying on the ground, with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained to Peter that the chicken had died, and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven. They buried the chicken, and that was that.

Two weeks later, his dad came home from work, and Peter ran up to him yelling:

"Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mommy today."

"What?" his father replied.

"When I got home from school, Mommy was laying on the bed with her legs pointing up in the air, to the ceiling, yelling: 'Jesuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus, I'm commmmmmmnnmmmmming, Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus I'm comiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing-o-o-o-o-O.'

If it wasn't for Uncle Shege, (i.e. Baba Senator Iyabo), holding her down, we would have lost mummy for sure!"

That is the end of my second story for today.

Muchas gracias.

DJ-CA (III)
W-i-C

[papabaks]

EMI LA O NI YOSI, EMI LA O NI YOSI,

BA TO FE O RI BE NA LO RI,

EMI LA O NI YO SI.

TRANSLATION:

WHY WON'T I BE HAPPY ,

BECAUSE AT LAST IT HAPPEN THE WAY I WANTED IT TO HAPPEN,

WHY WON'T I BE HAPPY.

TO CELEBRATE MY WELCOME VISA, WITH DUE RESPECT DO I PRESENT THIS ITEMS TO

THE ENTIRE VILLAGERS.


(1) One basket of Papas kola nuts (goro/gworo).

(2) One basket of GENUINE Igboid kola nuts (oji Igbo)

(3) Isi ewu (with 2 eyes, 1 tongue, and 2 ears per goat head)

(4) 10 x 50 litres jerry-cans of palmie (pasteurized palm wine powerless).

(5) One tiny teaspoon (5ml. max) of superbly chilled, pasteurized kunu

(6) Unlimited suyarized and tenderized beef and pork barbeque (for all Villagers and JJCs with due respect).

(7) 4 crates of Hennessey XO champagne brandy, for His Excellency,and all elders.

(8) Nigerian omelet (for 50 seasoned elders )

(9) Roasted cocoyam to serve 50 seasoned elders.

(10) 26 crates of Dom Perignon (for 13 very seasoned, kunu-allergic elders).

(11) 100 strings of Jigida beads for the women

(12) 50 tins of Saturday Night powder

(13) 50 wraps of eko (for the toothless elders with due respect)

(14) Spicy goatmeat peppersoup

(15) 50 cartons of Malta Guiness

(16) 50 cartons of Guiness Odeku

(17) 60 crates of Crush & Mirinda Orange

(18) 30 bowls of freshly ground Lahli (African tatoo)---reserved for Chairperson, Board of Trustees (JJCAMB)

(19) 150 miniature jars of Tiro (African eyeliner)---reserved for the Chairperson, Board of Trustees(JJCAMB)

(20) Highly pepperized fresh fish pepper soup to serve all Villagers, JJCs, and their guests, including gatecrashers present.

(21) 100 plates of Salade Du Nigeriana (i.e. Ugba + okporoko, garnished with uziza/uda puree) for placating the hard-liners and hawks of the Elders' Forum.

(22) Unlimited supply of bitter kola, alligator pepper, and garden egg.

WITH DUE RESPECT DO I LOAD THE TRAILER FILLED WITH THIS ITEMS AND I DON DEPOSIT AM FOR ELDERS COUNCIL....

Before I dash out Please I have a song to render!!!

EWA BAMI GBE GBA OPE OOO

YE YE YE.....

NITORI PE EMI LENI TAIYE TI ROOOOO

PE KO NI RI VISA GBAAAAA

SUGBON MOTI RI VISA GBA

OLUORUN.... sori VILLAGERS OOO

LOBAMI SE. LOLLOLOLOLOL.


I THANK UNNA FO WELCOMING ME.


OOOPPPPEEEEEE OOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

I AM NOW FREEE @ LAST TO BE A VILLAGER.

[papabaks]

Originally Posted by purple

Sir,

I notice that you are in the road transport sector by your details posted below -

BAKARE OLUWASEUN
Lagos Metropolitan Area Transport Authority (LAMATA)
Block C 2nd Floor Motorways Centre,
Motorways Avenue, Alausa,
Ikeja, Lagos.

Tel: 01- 2702778-82 ext 124

Email: papabaks@gmail.com
Mobile: 234-806-505-7606

It is a privilege to have a public official like you amongst us in the Village as it opens up access to seek information. You may or may not have read the article titled Where is Nigeria Heading which was posted at NVS couple days ago. This article contained horrific photograps of the charred remains of our countrymen following a road accident. As reported the human remains were left at the site. Can you please tell villagers who is responsible for removing human remains from our roads and Highways (especially the Lagos/Ibadan Express Road)?

It would really be helpful if you can supply us with names of the agency(ies), names of their officers, telephone numbers, or email addreses. The goal is to reach out to this people and remind them of their job description.

My apologies for bumping in on your interview. It is just that I felt you may be of some assistance in this matter.

Respectfully
Purple

@ Purple

Never mind, you come in @ d right time, to be candid, my area of specialization is not based on road, but i found myself working under transportation/construction organisation, I am an IT specialist.

Never the less i will find out about this agencies and their proper duties, in order to give you a proper feed back. Ok

E SEUN GAN

THANK YOU.

papa

[papabaks]

HAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, I dey yarnnn.

Why i nogo yarn, i don wait tire, so teeeee

Infact i need water,

Excuse me make i go drink am for water.


nmla mo mi jo.

[Dimaanu]

Originally Posted by papabaks

HAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, I dey yarnnn.

Why i nogo yarn, i don wait tire, so teeeee

Infact i need water,

Excuse me make i go drink am for water.


nmla mo mi jo.

Papa,

You don graduate from hia o..........So when you drink water finish, make you enta yonder go piss and den, you go find road go meet dem for Main Square. You go YARN tire!

Abi whish kain yarns you wan yarn for Twin Towers complex? Na Policy we dey make for hia.

E kaabo!