State of The Village Address

[Abraxas]

The Village High Commission

Official Website: http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com

STATE OF THE VILLAGE ADDRESS:

Fellow citizens of our very beloved Village of origin (of no regret),
Prospective citizens of our Village (a.k.a. JJCs), and applicants for our much coveted GENUINE temporary transit visa,
Nominated candidates for the issuance of our permanent residence permits, and diplomatic passports,
Esteemed members of the diplomatic corps here present,
Disgruntled self-exiled former citizens of our great Village (of no sweat),
Members of theVillage Elders’ Forum (Bar & Discotheque),
Distinguished ladies (i.e. Senior Babes, geges, chiquitos, cash madams, aunties of the night, and royal mummies),
Distinguished gentlemen (i.e. Big Boys, bobos, ogbonge traditional prime ministers, and royal papas):

I salute you all.

A few days ago, fellow compatriots, our way of life, indeed, the very foundations of our existence came under brutal attack in a series of premeditated and deadly terrorist acts. Some of the victims were in air planes, or in their offices: most of them, ordinary law-abiding citizens of our Village, businessmen and women, paramilitary and emergency support agency workers; mums and dads; friends and neighbours. In short, thousands of lives were suddenly extinguished by evil, despicable acts of cross-border terror. Our very own Village Twin Towers Complex was bombed sky-high to smithereens, and we, the survivors of those unwarranted attacks, are right here, at Ground Zero, in utter shock, awe, and in a state of understandable trepidation. All of these call for sober reflection: (about where we are coming from, where we are today, and where we intend to be in the future.)

Images of air planes flying into tall buildings, inducing uncontrollable conflagrations, and the huge structures of our magnificent Village Twin Towers Complex collapsing before our very eyes, have filled us with disbelief, terrible sadness, and a quiet, but unyielding anger. These acts of mass destruction were intended to panic our Village into chaos and retreat. However, the terrorists have failed. Indeed, conceptually, our Village Twin Towers Complex is very robust: It cannot be destroyed.

Worldwide, several concerned patriotic Villagers, friends, and well-wishers have been moved, beyond the call of duty, to defend our great Village. Terrorist attacks may shake the foundations of our Village Twin Towers Complex (VTTC), but they cannot touch our raison d’être, or the vision and mission of our very beloved Village (of no regret). Those acts of terror may have shattered structures, but they definitely cannot dent the resolve of Villagers, particularly our ever so hard-working staff of the Village High Commission (VHC), the JJCAdmission Matters Bureau (JJCAMB), the Village Homeland Security Department (VHS), the students and lecturers of Ile-Ogbon University of Hard Knocks (under the able tutelage of Professor Emeritus UncleTisha), and indeed, the other fellow occupants of the VTTC.

The Village Twin Towers, (particularly the Village High Commission, the JJCAdmission Matters Bureau, and the offices of our Department of Village Homeland Security), were specifically targeted for terror attacks because we are the brightest beacon of hope, freedom, and opportunity, indeed, the bastions and flag bearers of a much needed paradigm shift in this Village, in Nigeria, and indeed, across the world. And let me reassure you all, that nobody, I repeat, NOBODY will prevent that light from shining brighter and brighter. We MUST pass on the torch, no matter the circumstances!

For the records, a couple of days ago, our very beloved Village (of origin) came face-to-face with pure evil: that is to say, the very worst of the human condition. And, of course, we responded with the best that this Village can offer: with the daring of our rescue workers, with the caring of strangers and neighbours who came to give hope, support, consolation, condolence, and help in any way they could. I salute them all.

Immediately following the first attack on the Village Twin Towers Complex, located just by the Square, the Board of Trustees of the JJCAMB implemented its emergency response plans and contingency strategies. Our staff are resolved, and are prepared to take the war to the enemy’s doorsteps. Our emergency teams are working around the clock, in every nook and cranny of this great Village, to augment effective rescue efforts. Our first priority is to provide help to those who have been injured, and to take every necessary precaution to protect all Villagers, wherever they may be on planet Earth, and beyond, from any further unprovoked attacks.

Let us assure you all that the functions of the Village Administration,(under the able leadership of His Excellency, Oga Big-K) will continue smoothly, without interruption. Other institutions of our very beloved Village remain very much in tact, and are open for business as usual.

However, all Village High Commission staff, JJCAdmission Matters Bureau personnel, and indeed, surviving occupants of the entire Village Twin Towers Complex (which has already been evacuated), will resume essential diplomatic duties (i.e. visa issuance/interrogation processes; etc), and/or will be open for normal business, sometime in the late third quarter of 2008, after obligatory damage control, disaster recovery and due structural reconstruction efforts.

The search is under way for those who are behind these evil acts of terror. The Board of Trustees of the JJCAMB has directed the full resources of our intelligence services, and law enforcement communities worldwide, to fish out, smoke out, and flush out all those responsible for the unacceptable acts of terror directed at the Village Twin Towers Complex, and to bring each and every one of them to justice. We will make no distinction between the terrorists who committed those acts, and anybody who harbours them.

We very much appreciate all those who have joined us in strong condemnation of these unprovoked terrorist attacks. And on behalf of His Excellency, Oga Big-K, and the staff of his office, (formerly located at the 250th floor of the now demolished VTTC), and the good people of our Village of origin, I thank the many Village elder statesmen worldwide, who have called to offer their condolences and assistance.

Our Village, our friends, and our allies join with all those who cherish peace and harmony. We stand united, shoulder-to-shoulder, to win the war against terror. The Board of Trustees of the JJCAdmission Matters Bureau fervently appeals for your prayers for all those who grieve, especially for the children whose worlds have been shattered, for all whose sense of liberty, egalitarianism, fair play, zero ego-fixation, happiness, and self-assurance has been threatened. We pray that they will be comforted by a power greater than any one of us, spoken through the ages in Psalm 23:



"Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me."

Fellow citizens of our great Village (of no regret), certainly,GOD is with us!

Today, Villagers, from every walk of life, are united in their firm resolve for justice and paradigm shift in our dear Village. The Village Twin Towers have stood down enemies before, and we will do so again this time, and indeed, time after time. None of us will ever forget this day. Surely, we will continue to defend our cherished culture of liberty, and all that is good and just in our Village (of no regret).

Thank you very much for your rapt attention. We love you all!

God bless the Nigerian Village Square.

Muchas gracias.

Don Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS (III)
(a.k.a. His Eminence, Sheikh Saddiq D'Fuqk of Sakkwato Khalifate, Darfur & Dubai Emirates)
Village High Commissioner.


Sunday, 20 April 2008.

[emj]

Hmmm.....Oga Massa, i don arrive for the Vacation Resort. Dem bin tell me say you dey phor da other Beach Resort.....walahi, na good thing say we get wia we fit go de-stress after all da stress......see u later sir

[Dimaanu]

Oga madam,

I still dey for hairport o!
Did you forget to send your pilot to pick me up or what?

Abegy, send am come o......I no wan miss the Calypso night at the Resort.


Aloha!!!!!!!

[emj]

Originally Posted by Dimaanu

Oga madam,

I still dey for hairport o!
Did you forget to send your pilot to pick me up or what?

Abegy, send am come o......I no wan miss the Calypso night at the Resort.


Aloha!!!!!!!

Drat, sepe u still dey phor hiaport.....chei....na hin be say my pilot neva get da jet Fuel be dat o........oh no.
Se u bin remember say i bin send am sake make hin go pick my friend wey dey for Ilugun make she come jolly-jolly with us...and ilugun bin dey phor da southern part of Nigeria...da fuel wey hin bin use go no plenti...he was supposed to fill up for Lagos.....i don forget say na only dat Short Man bin get da Monopoly phor Aviation Fuel for dat area.

Exercise small patience make i phone Tee-X make hin send hin own Jet come pick u...pele LOLO, ma binu...no vex....i don tell dem make dem put da other Jollification on Hold till u arrive....and ehremmm, if Olori Vor calls u, tell her said i dey go come...or better still, dat i go see am soonest(no tell her say i dey away o, or she go come dey compete for space with me)........did i remember to tell u say Lagbaja don land....walahi, dis facation dey ooo(konkobilow)

[Dimaanu]

Originally Posted by emj

Exercise small patience make i phone Tee-X make hin send hin own Jet come pick u...pele LOLO, ma binu...no vex....i don tell dem make dem put da other Jollification on Hold till u arrive....and ehremmm, if Olori Vor calls u, tell her said i dey go come...or better still, dat i go see am soonest(no tell her say i dey away o, or she go come dey compete for space with me)........did i remember to tell u say Lagbaja don land....walahi, dis facation dey ooo(konkobilow)

Tee-X???...Mba o!...Oti o!....Me and Tee-X been get small history from way-y-y-y back.
I still no trust dat man.

Abegy, get in touch with Oga Abraxas, I sure say our Vacation Budget reach to charter anoda plane to come carry me comot from hia.

Hungry don dey catch me o!

[emj]

Originally Posted by Dimaanu

Tee-X???...Mba o!...Oti o!....Me and Tee-X been get small history from way-y-y-y back.
I still no trust dat man.

Abegy, get in touch with Oga Abraxas, I sure our Vacation Budget reach to charter anoda plane to come carry me comot from hia.

Hungry don dey catch me o!

Hahahaha.......ya hand don dey shake self...ok o, i hia u...se u sabi Hang-Glide...make we send u Sola hin own.....juess kidding, da Jet is on it's way....u too sabi chop life...

[Dimaanu]

Oga madam,

I don turn my suite upside down...I still neva find my sunscreen. Shucks!!!

Abegy, you fit send your chambermaid over with 6 tubes?

Has Oga come back from the racecourse?

[emj]

Originally Posted by Dimaanu

Oga madam,

I don turn my suite upside down...I still neva find my sunscreen. Shucks!!!

Abegy, you fit send your chambermaid over with 6 tubes?

Has Oga come back from the racecourse?

Hahaheoheoheohoi....i laugh da laugh of an Englishman...see u, i've dismissed my chambermaid for the day...no point her hanging around when am busy Teeing off with dose/those Scandinavians(more of gwaffing than golfing)......anywaz, Uga Massa still dey phor racecourse o...he's lost quite a chunk of u know wat, but refused to leave...dang, drat and double drat...i no know who go help me carry am comot phor dia o..i left him with those other fellas(da crazy one from Brunei and his friend), they are just as bad as him...chei.

I sent for Philo immediately i got ur sos....she's on her way to u now with some tubes and of course a box of other essentials...BTW, did u hear from Sandylomo at all?

[Dimaanu]

Originally Posted by emj

Hahaheoheoheohoi....i laugh da laugh of an Englishman...see u, i've dismissed my chambermaid for the day...no point her hanging around when am busy Teeing off with dose/those Scandinavians(more of gwaffing than golfing)......anywaz, Uga Massa still dey phor racecourse o...he's lost quite a chunk of u know wat, but refused to leave...dang, drat and double drat...i no know who go help me carry am comot phor dia o..i left him with those other fellas(da crazy one from Brunei and his friend), they are just as bad as him...chei.

I sent for Philo immediately i got ur sos....she's on her way to u now with some tubes and of course a box of other essentials...BTW, did u hear from Sandylomo at all?

Oga madam,

Dis matter don dey pass be careful o!
Since yesterday, na im I don dey call Sandylomo's suite. You know we were all supposed to get together for brunch but she no come show up.
I finally spoke with her this afternoon. She say she dey recieve one kain tutorial so.
I no remember wetin she call am... Menologra... sumtin sumtin (ahhh! before I bite my tongue.)

Help me ask Sandy how many Degree she wan bag sef. E be liak say the PhD for forensic kriminology neva do.

Sandy, we are here to have fun....Report to the casino, ASAP!

[mulan]

Are non-VTT staff invited to this gbaladun? Wouldn't mind a spot of golf myself and some pina colada in the shade. That is if you guys don't mind, of course...

[calist]

Originally Posted by mulan

Are non-VTT staff invited to this gbaladun? Wouldn't mind a spot of golf myself and some pina colada in the shade. That is if you guys don't mind, of course...

Not to worry Mulan, there is enough room for someone like you in the resort, we can’t forget our assistant in a hurry, but you must promise to make your choice after the senior Oga’s and VTT staffs have made theirs ok?

[Mikky jaga]

Oga Abraxas,

Sorry, I didn't read the state of the Village Address until this morning, no thanks to the demon that invaded the square making log in a very difficult task.

I commiserate with you on the misfortune that befell the Twin Tower Complex - the very pride of our village of origin. I was actually moved to tears reading that the enemies have done their worst, but was encouraged by the fact that your spirit is not bowed. That is how it should be.

Please, spare nothing to ensure that the VTT is back and in good time too, in order to shame those evil people that would like to deny those of us on TTV who are hoping and praying fervently to earn the Permanent Visa.

All we can say is, we are grateful that no life was lost in the gruesome destruction. When there is life, there is hope. Whenever the reconstruction is to commence, please let the villagers be informed. I will be willing to gladly contribute my 2kobo to the reconstruction effort.

Thanks

@Elgaxton,

It is a pity that this kind undue penetration of the security of our beloved village of origin should take place during your tenure as the Village Security Chief. Please, ensure that all perpetrators are arrested and brought to book with immediate effect.

Eternal Vigilance is the price for liberty.

[Abraxas]

Originally Posted by emj

Hahaheoheoheohoi....i laugh da laugh of an Englishman...see u, i've dismissed my chambermaid for the day...no point her hanging around when am busy Teeing off with dose/those Scandinavians(more of gwaffing than golfing)......anywaz, Uga Massa still dey phor racecourse o...he's lost quite a chunk of u know wat, but refused to leave...dang, drat and double drat...i no know who go help me carry am comot phor dia o..i left him with those other fellas(da crazy one from Brunei and his friend), they are just as bad as him...chei.

I sent for Philo immediately i got ur sos....she's on her way to u now with some tubes and of course a box of other essentials...BTW, did u hear from Sandylomo at all?

Hi, sister mine, Ms. EMJ (Madam De Madam: It's a matter of cash & class)!

Nnaaaa, no be small-o: Wetin my eye dey see, my mouth no fit talk am. Na jos yesterday wey my paddyman and business partner, His Very Eminent Royal Majesty, Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah Mu'izzaddin Waddaulah, the Sultan & Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam, come invite me for 'ihm royal penthouse suite for our hotel (Waikiki Grand Hotel & Resort, Honolulu, Hawaii, US of A).

De chaqckis wey de sultan been give me, (in my humble capacity as the ogbonge sheikh of Sakkwato Khalifate, Darfur & Dubai Emirates), make I manage smoke small, no be small, my sisita! De tin carry me go Cloud Coockooland, via Cloud 9, t'roway me for Paradise, come leave 70 seasoned assorted EXPERIENCED senior chiquitos of planet Earth make I manage small. (No shout for me-o, sister mine!)

No do, no do, I come balance well-well dey chop apple wey even Adam sef go fear to wack. I no go lie... 'e sweet me gan-gan. (Sister mine, I see sey ya eye done dey turn pink, pink. ... make I leave word, make yoo no go report me to Senora yoo-know-who, of Rio!)

Make I cut long story short: Immediately wey I been recover from my visit to Paradise, {enhen?}, na 'ihm we come take de sultan 'ihm private jet relax small for air for about 8 hours, dey gbaladun to de max: Zero turbulence! Make I show you small photo make yoo see wetin yoo miss.

True-true, sultan been vex small sey yoo and ya entourage no come follow us for de aeronautical jamboree. I beg am sey no be ya fault, sey yoo really busy with all de co-ordination and organizing wey yoo dey arrange for us for de resort, so dat we fit relax well-well, forget about VTT for about 100 days or so, make Julios Barga plc dem finish clear de rubbish for Ground Zero!

Anyway, sha, I been tour the sultan 'ihm private jet for Honolulu International airport, take my eye see somet'ing. Chei, Chineke, Jah Jehovah, God, Kiniyanabo Tamuno , Olodumere Baba wa, even de wash hand basins, toilets, and baths na solid gold plus lalique crystal wey dem take make dem.

My friend, de sultan, tell me sey, 'ihm been buy de aeroplane, brand new, for only won hondred and tiri million dollars (US$103 m). 'E say sey 'ihm been get to fly de aeroplane, brand new, from the Boeing factory, to Waco, where dem been remove ALL de interior completely. Then, 'ihm come tell de folks for E-Systems, Waco, make dem install US$120 million worth of improvements for inside and outside of de ogbonge aeroplane.

Make I kukuma tell yoo: 'e easy pass to enter an underground nuclear weapons storage area dan to enter E-System to see de sultan 'ihm airplane, when dem been dey re-decorate am! As my paddyman, the Sultan of Brunei dey blow me 'tory about 'ihm plane, na 'ihm I come realize sey, maybe, very rich pipul really different from the rest of de world!!

Muchas gracias, ojare, sister mine.

Don-Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS (III)
(Approaching the Sultan's royal suite for more gbaladun!)

(1) De Sultan 'im jet for Honolulu airport tarmac:

(2) Shower & Wash hand basins:

(3) On-board Guest Toilet Facilities:

(4) Where we play cards:

(5) My Small Bed:

[emj]

My friend, de sultan, tell me sey, 'ihm been buy de aeroplane, brand new, for only won hondred and tiri million dollars (US$103 m). 'E say sey 'ihm been get to fly de aeroplane, brand new, from the Boeing factory, to Waco, where dem been remove ALL de interior completely. Then, 'ihm come tell de folks for E-Systems, Waco, make dem install US$120 million worth of improvements for inside and outside of de ogbonge aeroplane.

Make I kukuma tell yoo: 'e easy pass to enter an underground nuclear weapons storage area dan to enter E-System to see de sultan 'ihm airplane, when dem been dey re-decorate am! As my paddyman, the Sultan of Brunei dey blow me 'tory about 'ihm plane, na 'ihm I come realize sey, maybe, very rich pipul really different from the rest of de world!!

Hmm.....Oga Massa, abegy na RICH people me i go begin dey follow from now on o....no more suffer suffer...my mouth still dey open like odoyo phor hia o...sepe na man pikin get dis kain frane/plane.....chei

Da money wey dem dey take put da add-ons even pass the money wey dem bin take buy da plane.....but sha hin bin yab money pass da Aread Fada wey go buy refurbished plane come dey do yanga laik say na better thing

True-true, sultan been vex small sey yoo and ya entourage no come follow us for de aeronautical jamboree. I beg am sey no be ya fault, sey yoo really busy with all de co-ordination and organizing wey yoo dey arrange for us for de resort, so dat we fit relax well-well, forget about VTT for about 100 days or so, make Julios Barga plc dem finish clear de rubbish for Ground Zero!

Hmm.......i don throway hard-hat wey dose/those yeye Julius-Mirin bin give me o(no more supervision)...na come i dey so...tell da Sultan say na full speed ahead i dey so>>>>Wey dis Pilot...airborne b4 they finish all da finishables


PS>>>>>>Mikky Jaga, Mulan et al, thanks ....u are free to join us.

[Mikky jaga]

My Gawd!!

Money good o! One day, I go begin spend money like this.

I don apply to President Yaradua for some oil blocks in some less troublesome areas where MEND is not yet active. I promise to make sure this little life of mine is well spent in enjoyment and splendour. Afterall,. na the same way them born the Sheik na im them born me.

If, however President Yar'Adua refuse to grant my request, I will approach some of these "militants" for a piece of the action.. If the "militants" refuse, I know another way of getting a piece of the action!! The Leader of the JTF is a very good guy, from all information at my disposal. I will meet him to allocate one of the numerous pipelines to me so that I too can be loading tankers with refined products, under military cover, from a leaking pipe.

In any case I must make ego, money, kudi, owo, Igbogi, okoba, idolo, cashew, nut, before the turn of the decade. I promise all my fans that I will not do anything illegal. That plane is too beautiful. I must get my own. No matter what!!

[Abraxas]

Hi, my good friend, Mikky Jaga!

Na true (no be lie): 'e no good to be poor, sam-sam. Sweet life dey sweet, {no be small.} True-true, poverty na crime; even sef, Broke-itis na disease! Money no be de root of all evil: na de LACK of money wey be de tap root of all gaddem evil. Like my pastor talk: It is better to have money, and not to need it, than to need it, and not to have it. Praise the LORD, praise the LORD. Allahluiya!

Anyway, sha, I done borrow de aeroplane of my paddyman, His Ogbonge Royal Majesty, Sultan of Brunei, com'o't from Honolulu International, go Ikeja airport (via Toronto, and Paris), go meet my extended family for Isale Eko, relax small wit' some friends of my iyawo, wey be senior girls of Nigeria, wey dey shake Lagos Island to de foundation with dem bralessness and knickerlessness, upon the ikebeliciousness of their dispositional orientation to good life, merry-making and total dedication to the motion of the hips in perfect synchrony with pure and applied funkified fuji! My broda, life dey sweet me for dis holiday wey I dey so, no be small. I no go fit lie for yoo.

... We go see, sha, when I return back from 9jeriya, {yoo hear me, so?}. Stay well-o. No find anybody turobule, {yoo hear?}

Muchas gracias.

Don Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS (III)

[emj]

Hic, hic, Hic, hiccuups....Oga Mi Palm-Wine don finish o....na Elgaxton bin drink the last cup...hic, kai

But sha da kain tingy wey my eyes bin see for Wakakiki...my face no fit talk am o...hic, hic, hic....even self my legs go bear me witness....ma pikin juess dey maintain low profile ni....nothing spoil sha...happy weekend sumebody


PS>>>>>Pilot...abegy, set da flight-plan for....hmmm...make i go come...hmm

[Palamedes]

If we have a Village High Commission, then we must have a High Commissioner or Ambassador. I nominate Abraxas and I second it. Now sorted! Now matters close (To hell with democracy); and now, Mr Abraxas accepts or face firing squad (To hell with freedom of the individual).

**Update**

I am a bit late, the appointment has already been effected albeit to the same conclusion

[emj]

COUNTDOWN TO GRAND OPENING:-

YouTube - We are the World - Pavarotti and Friends

[Abraxas]

The Village High Commission

Official Website: http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com

STATE OF THE VILLAGE ADDRESS: RESUMPTION BROADCAST:

PROTOCOL:
Fellow citizens of our very beloved Village of origin (of no regret),
Prospective citizens of our Village (a.k.a. JJCs), and eager applicants for our much coveted GENUINE temporary transit visa,
Nominated candidates for the issuance of our permanent residence permits, and diplomatic passports,
Esteemed members of the diplomatic corps here present,
Disgruntled self-exiled former citizens of our great Village,
Members of theVillage Elders’ Forum (Bar & Discotheque),
Distinguished ladies,
Distinguished gentlemen.

Obrigado! I salute you all.

Fellow compatriots, barely seventy-one (71) days ago, our very own Village Twin Towers Complex was reduced to rubble at Ground Zero,following a series of deadly terrorist attacks. The sad event called for sober reflection about where we were coming from, where we were then, and where we intend to be in the future. Subsequently, the Board of Trustees of the JJC Admission Matters Bureau directed an immediate shutd own of all consular and diplomatic services, until the entire edifice of the Village Twin Towers Complex has been raised from its ashes, brick-by-brick, robustly reinforced, and optimally re-invented to fully serve its role as a benchmark of quality and a bastion of change in the Nigerian sector of cyberspace. And so, the Board of Trustees ordered a voluntarily compulsory vacation for all members of our Village diplomatic and allied services (i.e. the Village High Commission, the JJC Admission Matters Bureau (JJCAMB), the Village Homeland Security (VHS), and Ile-Ogbon University of Hard Knocks (I-OUni HK), School of Brokin Neurolinguistics, Semantics, Syntax, and Semiotics).

Sequel to the satisfactory completion of structural rehabilitation works on our new 555-floor Village Twin Towers Complex, by Julios Baggar (9jeriya) plc, and after due consultations, deliberations, and considerations, the Board of Trustees of the JJCAMB has directed that we resume full consular duties at the new VTT Complex, with effect from 0:00 hrs. (GMT) of Tuesday, 1 July 2008. Consequently, I will be at my desk, in my office at the 450th floor, in my capacity as the Village High Commissioner, to personally open up the doors to the offices of our Consular Services, as from 23:59 hrs (GMT), Monday, 30 June 2008. By this announcement, all diplomatic and consular staff and management of the Village High Commission, JJCAMB, and the VHS are requested to be at their duty posts, in readiness to take care of business, as usual, in the service of our great Village (of origin)of no regret.

We are pleased to also inform you that the Board of Trustees has commenced ensuring a smooth process of succession planning, to usher in the next generation of managers and operatives of the Village Twin Towers Complex virtual community. The in-coming team of managers and key operatives of the new VTTC will, as usual, in our tradition here at the JJCAMB, go straight on, to do business with all customers of the VTT, UNREHEARSED: that is to say, a total immersion, hands-on, “use-your-head-efficiently” mode of learning on the job! We know they will succeed. We trust they will use their heads very efficiently, because, that is the stuff of which they are made.

Once more, let me reassure all our staff, particularly those that were newly promoted/appointed, or deployed, please, read my lips very well:

Let no body, (I repeat), let NOBODY prevent that light that YOU have in you from shining brighter and brighter. WE HAVE PASSED ON THE TORCH. YOU TOO MUST PASS ON THE TORCH, no matter the circumstances!


Let us assure all law-abiding citizens of this Village, particularly the Village Administration (under the able leadership of His Excellency, Oga Big-K) that our visa issuance, consular, and diplomatic responsibilities will commence full blast, with effect from Tuesday, 1 July 2008.

We appreciate, very much, all those who provided us strong moral and material support, maintaining our staff at various 5-star holiday resorts, and luxury hotels around the world, through out our shut down vacation period. On behalf of the Chairperson, Board of Trustees (JJCAMB), Countess (Ms.) EMJ, the Adviser General (JJCAMB), Lolo-Igwe (Ms.) Dimaanu, all other members of the JJCCAMB Board of Trustees, the in-coming Welcomer-in-Chief, Mr. Djister, and the in-coming Adviser General (JJCAMB), Ms. Sandylomo, I am particularly grateful to the many Village elder statesmen worldwide, who graciously and effortlessly bank-rolled our post-Ground Zero holidays, general joliffication, and gbaladun expenses!


Thank you all for your rapt attention.

There will be a world press conference hereafter, at the 500th floor, in the boardroom of the Village High Commission, starting from 01:00 hrs. (GMT), Tuesday, 1 July 2008. Our friends from the local and international press are cordially requested to please complete their mandatory accreditation protocols and biometric security scans at the designated office on the198th floor, before proceeding to the 500th floor for the world press conference.

God bless the Nigerian Village Square.

Muchas gracias.

Don Juan-Carlos ABRAXAS (III)
(a.k.a. His Eminence, Sheikh Saddiq D'Fuqkk of Sakkwato Khalifate, Darfur & Dubai Emirates)
Village High Commissioner & Welcomer-in-Chief.


Monday, 30 June 2008.