Nigerian Village Square Forum "The Square"

Go Back   The Village Square > Sunny Side > The Lounge

Comment
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes

Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?
Submitted by Vade Mecum
Nov 7, 2009
Default Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2009/11/0...in-your-house/

Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?

Is It Beyond Pardon?


Wednesday, November 6, 2009: Bridget Amaraegbu

Madam Jane didn’t know what she was getting herself into when she allowed her ex-boyfriend spend the night in her home without the consent of her husband. When her husband got to know about it the next day, he was furious. But because he loves his wife dearly, he didn’t know how to handle the situation.

The question Bridget AMARAEGBU sought answers from some of celebrities is, ‘was it right for his wife to have allowed her ex spend the night in their home?

Enjoy it.

No way, not in my own house — Lurrenz, Musician

No, way he can’t spend the night in my house. My dear, a lot of things can happen in one minute. What I’m saying is that no matter how much we love each other, it is not advisable to give the devil any opportunity to ruin our home. Though, it’s very possible that this ex- lover just got stranded and was looking for refuge, I don’t think my house is the best place for such to happen. At worse, I can afford to pay his hotel bill for just that night, considering the danger that can befall him if he’s left in the dark. But he won’t sleep in my house for any reason.

Again, I ask myself questions such as why should he be stranded around my house? Can’t he find his male friends to assist him? What about his relatives? Of all his friends, why did he remember my wife for such assistance? The fact that I’ll pay for his accommodation will be based on the love I have for my wife and I won’t even pay for more than one night, after which he should be able to find his way, unless he has an ulterior motive.

Even if he hasn’t got a hidden agenda, I’ll not be comfortable if after one night he still can’t find his bearing. And you should not blame me for taking any other action. I want you to understand that most men will not even hear of it.

Things that like this can lead to divorce in many African homes. We are not in the western world where nearly everything is obtainable. Some of them may not really bother if their spouse is having another affair or not. But the mind of the average black man is full of jealousy with issues such as this.

And if you ask me what I’ll do if the ex-lover in question was my girlfriend, I’ll like to put it straight here that my ex-girlfriend cannot come around my matrimonial home. If she’s stranded around my house, I’ll seek the consent of my wife and together, we’ll put her in a hotel so that peace can reign.

There’s no reason why anybody should allow trouble to smell around his home for no serious reasons when there are other options.

I know so many men who can’t stand their women having a chat with another man. In fact, there’s a particular neighbour of mine who doesn’t allow his wife to chat with his friends and he has a good reason for doing that. No matter how much those friends of his try to persuade him, he’ll tell you that his wife is too young to handle such chat, and I don’t blame him. Since he already knows that his wife is too young, it’s better for him to shield her from danger. I’m not saying that any of those friends would begin to toast her but he has to be cautious to avoid temptations.

Sometimes, when you hear that one partner is being unfaithful, it may not be intentional but as a result of the situation he or she found himself, don’t forget that the spirit may be willing but the flesh will be weak. That is why it’s better to avoid any short cut the devil can use to destroy your marriage. We’ve heard stories where unfaithful partners were bewitched, and so on. We read them on the papers and watch related issues in the movies.

So, what are we talking about?

Let’s all pray that we have a happy and peaceful home because it’s only God that can sustain our homes but then we should also make our own effort.

Why not, I trust her — GT Guitarman, Musician

My answer is yes. Do you know why? Because she is my wife and confidant. I don’t see any reason why I cannot trust her. Trust is the word that should hold any relationship and I believe that once that trust is not there, then a relationship as sacred as marriage should not hold in the first place. I won’t marry a woman who doesn’t love me because it’s only when a relationship is not built on love that the people involve find it difficult to trust themselves. I’ll like to give my spouse that opportunity to prove her love for me.

I won’t allow a visit — Henry Ojo, Creative artist

Honestly, I don’t know where you get all these inspirations from but if you insist that it’s a true life story, then I’ll tell you my mind. The truth remains that I’ll not allow my wife’s ex to even visit my house, not to talk of spending the night in my house. No forget say na from clap dem de follow enter dance…o. From spending one night, he may have to visit again and before you know it, so many things might begin to happen.

Another thing is that any woman who can bring her ex- boyfriend to her husband’s house is mad. As far as I’m concerned, she can lodge him in the hotel and do whatever she likes with him there but not in my house.

It’s an assault to marriage — Amaka Johnson, Model

My dear, such a thing is not advisable because no matter how much love we profess for each other, I’ll never be comfortable with myself as long as this ex-lover of his is in the house. Anything can happen when a man and woman who are not related are left alone in the same house.

While I was growing up my grandmother always reminded us that you don’t keep yam and goat together and come back to find them the way you left them, no way, and I believe her.

Apart from the fact that he can also do whatever he likes with her elsewhere if he doesn’t want me to know, I’m still better off if he does it outside my knowledge. Sleeping with her in our home will mean an assault on my marriage.

No, old firewood no dey quench — Ebeye Amanda, Actress

No, I’ll not allow that to happen. Is it that she can’t find any other place to spend the night? I’ll only be a fool to think that nothing will happen between them that night because anything can happen. Do you still remember that saying, old firewood no dey quench? I don’t even expect her to still have my husband’s contact in the first place because they should have been separated long before now. So what is she still looking for in his home if not trouble?

It’s not my business if he goes looking for her elsewhere but it won’t happen under my roof, never.

Many things can happen in one night — Fragrance, Musician

Ah! No way, eeh too many things can happen in one night. I can’t trust any man to the extent of allowing his ex-girlfriend to come spend the night in my matrimonial home. At worse I can rent a room for her in a hotel but she won’t sleep under the same roof with me and my husband. That one is not safe at all and that’s my personal view on this issue, any other persons opinion is welcome.
__________________
I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. ~Abraham Lincoln
Thread Tools
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Old Nov 7, 2009 , 01:31 AM   # 1 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



The circumstances that led to him spending the night there is not very clear. Because to me it very much depends on that really.

If it is because he is stranded with no where else to go to then I might if there is no acrimony between us. Definitely I will inform and seek my spouse's approval unless he is unreachable at that time.

__________________
"Those who live in glass house should not throw stones"

"The kettle is always quick to call the pot black"

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. --Buddha
valteena is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old Nov 7, 2009 , 02:15 AM   # 2 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



Absolutely not!

__________________
Holy Ghost Fire,
scatter the enemy's camp.
lateesha is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Thanked by: Bunch17, EezeeBee, Miliki Way
Old Nov 7, 2009 , 02:20 AM   # 3 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



Originally Posted by valteena View Post
The circumstances that led to him spending the night there is not very clear. Because to me it very much depends on that really.

If it is because he is stranded with no where else to go to then I might if there is no acrimony between us. Definitely I will inform and seek my spouse's approval unless he is unreachable at that time.
Which kain circumstance? Wetin, I will give him blanket for him to sleep with the vigilantes...but not in my house. It shows lack of respect for her husband and her marriage.

If he is stranded nko? Are you are 24/7 hotel? The woman is stupid. There is no reason for your ex to even know your matrimonial home. What kind of nonsense it that? Who knows what they did. I don't blame anyman for acting up if this kind of attitude is exhibited by his wife.

Tufia!

MrsChocT is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Thanked by: Bunch17, rina, UGOJIALOR
Old Nov 7, 2009 , 02:45 AM   # 4 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



Originally Posted by MrsChocT View Post
Which kain circumstance? Wetin, I will give him blanket for him to sleep with the vigilantes...but not in my house. It shows lack of respect for her husband and her marriage.

If he is stranded nko? Are you are 24/7 hotel? The woman is stupid. There is no reason for your ex to even know your matrimonial home. What kind of nonsense it that? Who knows what they did. I don't blame anyman for acting up if this kind of attitude is exhibited by his wife.

Tufia!
It is the same way I will take in anyone stranded friend or relative, male or female. Being an ex does not preclude him from my kind gesture. That is why I said it depends on the circumstances. What if I can't afford a hotel?. Spending the night in my home does not translate to spending it in my bed. If my partner approves where then is the disrespect. It is a matter of trust here lol.

__________________
"Those who live in glass house should not throw stones"

"The kettle is always quick to call the pot black"

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. --Buddha
valteena is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Thanked by: Amy, mulan
Old Nov 7, 2009 , 02:49 AM   # 5 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



Ever never ever never, as Babine for talk, Shiorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Balo is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old Nov 7, 2009 , 07:08 AM   # 6 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



Originally Posted by valteena View Post
The circumstances that led to him spending the night there is not very clear. Because to me it very much depends on that really.

If it is because he is stranded with no where else to go to then I might if there is no acrimony between us. Definitely I will inform and seek my spouse's approval unless he is unreachable at that time.
Heeheheheehehe!

Di convo go be like: "Honey, my ex is stranded. Can I make the guest room for him?''

Honey go come talk say: "Yes na, use di Blue bedsheet and febreeze for di room well-well".

Dis Valteena sef, yu wen talk say yu nor fit gree ya frend to come rest eim bodi for ya haus afta eim don do aborshon, na di same yu wan allow ya ex come rest for ya haus cuz of say eim dey "stranded"?

Oboye, na wah for Priority!

Anyway, ah nor blame yu; na Vade Mecum and eim funky questionaire ah blame.

Auspicious.

__________________
"Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus" - Bob Rubin.
Auspicious is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Thanked by: oluomo, UGOJIALOR
Old Nov 7, 2009 , 07:42 AM   # 7 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



Originally Posted by Auspicious View Post
Heeheheheehehe!

Di convo go be like: "Honey, my ex is stranded. Can I make the guest room for him?''

Honey go come talk say: "Yes na, use di Blue bedsheet and febreeze for di room well-well".

Dis Valteena sef, yu wen talk say yu nor fit gree ya frend to come rest eim bodi for ya haus afta eim don do aborshon, na di same yu wan allow ya ex come rest for ya haus cuz of say eim dey "stranded"?

Oboye, na wah for Priority!

Anyway, ah nor blame yu; na Vade Mecum and eim funky questionaire ah blame.

Auspicious.

That na the good samaritan spirit in me now ha ha ha . Remember I still allow my friend stay now even when I no support her abortion lol

__________________
"Those who live in glass house should not throw stones"

"The kettle is always quick to call the pot black"

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. --Buddha
valteena is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Thanked by: Amy, Auspicious
Old Nov 7, 2009 , 05:40 PM   # 8 (permalink)
Wink Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



Eherm, Ihenyessss, she can stay with us in the master bedroom....but on the floor at the foot of the bed....cheerios

__________________
Eni Olorun da Kose Clone
>I prefer to be full of God....No Bullshtzing<
>We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to Public Office..Aesop<
>Ape ko to jeun, ki je baje <
>The Price Of Greatness Is Responsibility..Winston Churchill<
>“It ain’t so much what people know that hurts them as what they know that ain’t so.”- Artemus Ward <
>Although men are accused of not knowing their own weakness, yet perhaps few know their own strength. It is in men as in soils, where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not of.< JS
emj is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Thanked by: oluomo
Old Nov 7, 2009 , 08:55 PM   # 9 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



After all said and done. Some people still don't believe that Okafor's law is tested and proven. Dare at your own risk.

__________________
Olu kan, eko kan!
oluomo is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old Nov 7, 2009 , 09:03 PM   # 10 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



Originally Posted by valteena View Post
That na the good samaritan spirit in me now ha ha ha . Remember I still allow my friend stay now even when I no support her abortion lol
Anyway, man diffren from man, eh? And yawa pass yawa.

Di kain waka wey go carey man take eim two-lef'-leg waka go eim married ex dormot talk say eim wan come sleep for nite, 'e go get as 'e be!

AuspY.

__________________
"Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus" - Bob Rubin.
Auspicious is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old Nov 8, 2009 , 12:32 AM   # 11 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



I no think say my future wife go get liver ask me that king question. How she want take talk am sef?

First of all, she go tell me how her ex take get her number and know where my house dey, If she no explain well then she go follow that her ex sleep outside (if she no careful I will make it permanent).

Man and woman no suppose know each other exes not to talk of meeting them.

Shoir!! who born monkey!!!

UGOJIALOR is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old Nov 8, 2009 , 09:36 AM   # 12 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



What if this ex is a friend of the family and your individual extended families are still very close despite your past relationship?

__________________
---If you would only listen, you would see!----IZONERE


---Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.---Oscar Wilde



View my blog
IZONERE is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old Nov 8, 2009 , 11:29 AM   # 13 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



Originally Posted by Balo View Post
Ever never ever never, as Babine for talk, Shiorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Balo...wanna share summin with us?

BTW In answer to the question asked, .......I am putting my self in his shoes, and thinking what I would do if it were me..........
I am still going through my list of 936 exes, to see which one is safe enough to have within re-knarcking distance..
feeful..do not tempt fate. Especially now that we have done the so called "settled down" and operate under different rules of engagement.

Some boys are just too bad arse irresistible to have in the same continent (blame Ryan Air and Easy jet) and you want to talk of same roof....jeeze....what part of 'do-not-pull-the-pin-off-a-hand grenade" is difficult to understand

My answer will be NO.
We are all human....a woman once knarcked can be re-knarcked.
If anybody can be re-knarcked...So can she.
so I don't go poking the bear.

liloldlady is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Thanked by: Balo
Old Nov 8, 2009 , 11:44 AM   # 14 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



Originally Posted by UGOJIALOR View Post
I no think say my future wife go get liver ask me that king question. How she want take talk am sef?
First of all, she go tell me how her ex take get her number and know where my house dey, If she no explain well then she go follow that her ex sleep outside (if she no careful I will make it permanent).

Man and woman no suppose know each other exes not to talk of meeting them.

Shoir!! who born monkey!!!
One more clause for tht pre-nup no forget

liloldlady is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Thanked by: UGOJIALOR
Old Nov 8, 2009 , 07:27 PM   # 15 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



Originally Posted by liloldlady View Post
Balo...wanna share summin with us?

BTW In answer to the question asked, .......I am putting my self in his shoes, and thinking what I would do if it were me..........
I am still going through my list of 936 exes, to see which one is safe enough to have within re-knarcking distance..
feeful..do not tempt fate. Especially now that we have done the so called "settled down" and operate under different rules of engagement.

Some boys are just too bad arse irresistible to have in the same continent (blame Ryan Air and Easy jet) and you want to talk of same roof....jeeze....what part of 'do-not-pull-the-pin-off-a-hand grenade" is difficult to understand

My answer will be NO.
We are all human....a woman once knarcked can be re-knarcked.
If anybody can be re-knarcked...So can she.
so I don't go poking the bear.
Somethings are best kept where they should be. No hala!

Balo is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old Nov 8, 2009 , 09:52 PM   # 16 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



If my ex would even come near my house to ask to spend the night…that means we have gotten to a place in our relationship were we are more like siblings …..

Truth is, our education does us disservice some times…..

Take the case of baba Lati who is a mechanic and his wife an akara seller….would she mind if the mother of one of his children born before they were married came to their house to see her child and slept over…..I imagine she would ready leave her foam for her to sleep on….

Iye is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Thanked by: Amy, valteena
Old Nov 8, 2009 , 10:03 PM   # 17 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



Originally Posted by Iye View Post
If my ex would even come near my house to ask to spend the night…that means we have gotten to a place in our relationship were we are more like siblings …..

Truth is, our education does us disservice some times…..

Take the case of baba Lati who is a mechanic and his wife an akara seller….would she mind if the mother of one of his children born before they were married came to their house to see her child and slept over…..I imagine she would ready leave her foam for her to sleep on….
My point exactly, thanks for putting it in such clearer context Iye.

__________________
"Those who live in glass house should not throw stones"

"The kettle is always quick to call the pot black"

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. --Buddha
valteena is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Thanked by: Iye
Old Nov 8, 2009 , 10:10 PM   # 18 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



Click the image to open in full size.

__________________
Etsu Nupe of Great Britain Via NVS!
Bunch17 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Thanked by: Auspicious, EezeeBee
Old Nov 8, 2009 , 10:45 PM   # 19 (permalink)
Default Re: Will You Allow Your Partner’s Ex Spend The Night In Your House?



Originally Posted by Iye View Post
[..]
Truth is, our education does us disservice some times…..

Take the case of baba Lati who is a mechanic and his wife an akara seller….would she mind if the mother of one of his children born before they were married came to their house to see her child and slept over…..I imagine she would ready leave her foam for her to sleep on….
Iye,

Please elaborate. Are you saying that Iya alakara would be very graceful(??) because the ex in question happens to be Oga Meki's baby mama, or that she wouldn't mind because of her level of formal education? What do you mean? Or are you saying that she wouldn't mind because you are assuming that, by virtue of her level of education, she would be under oga meki's control ie, are you introducing another variable: control? If you are saying the last, she had no choice/say to start with. Elaborate, if you can.

We, NVSers, have discussed this issue in the past. Uncle Tisha brought a "true life" scenario for us to chew on.

__________________
|Power| = |Corruption|, really. Take heed!
The less you can, the more you do.
Decrease me Lord, that you may increase in me.
Indeedy, monkey go go market never return someday.
Me^(-n) + Lord^(+n) = (Me * Divine Grace)^(+n)
Anike is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Comment

Bookmarks

Tags
house, night, partner’s, partner’s, spend

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 03:44 AM.

Services : E-mail news | RSS Feeds | Podcasts
Links:   About the NVS | Contact Us | Terms of Use | Privacy & Cookies | Advertise With Us
All Rights Reserved. NigeriaVillageSquare.com





Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.3.0
Integrated by BBPixel ©2003-2009, jvbPlugin

Thread powered by GARS 2.1.9 ©2005-2006