"Why We Left Our Husbands"....5 Women Provide Startling Reasons

[Unregistre]

Originally Posted by Oru-Ama

Well said. She got there before she realized all that glitter is not gold. Why didn't she pack her pali and go back to naija? I know a lady who was a bank Manager in one of the banks in naija who was almost deceived into marrying a cab driver in U.S. We were all shocked when she came back to naija after one week. It took her another 3 years to get back into banking on the same level. I will never understand this lady's reason for staying put to use the poor cab driver to get to the top and then dump him. This cab driver (and fake I.T professional) have gotten his own... he got dumped. This lady will get her own for living a lie to get to where she is today.

Thank you my sister, thank you; you spoke my mind. Naija men...deceit, Naija men...liers, Naija men...Jacks, Naija men...dick. Pack your bags and baggages and head back to naija period. you do not have to put in a rat hole as a sex slave with a cab driver for 5 yrs.

[Babine]

Gosh....how long do we have to wait for the rest of this story?

Ladies, please.....nothing wrong with finding a dude to "fall in love with" for utilitarian factors.....he is using you for the same....GIVE AND TAKE.....WE ALL DO....unless we are deceiving ourselves...as usual....

Everyone needs to do their part ....... whether you marry taxi driver o, or marry doctor....all na the same. You will still go through the same 'marital' wahala till you find a way to make things work with the partner.....MOST PEOPLE IN THE DIASPORA HAVE DONE THIS.....and SUCCEEDED.....in keeping both their homes and their marriage certificates....because the MEN were great captains of the ships......If ANY marriage fails in the diaspora or in Nigeria...IT IS THE MAN'S FAULT!!!......for not taking care of his business....you can only 'cheek' a ye ye man......a man that takes care of his responsibilities can NEVER get dumped by ANY woman.....aaaaaaaaaaaaaand, you can only 'cheek' a ye ye woman......when reaaaaaaaaaaaaal women make demands....men meet them......shioooor!

You men should play your parts......go back to school when the 'cash cows' are working....IT is a hobby not a job!

Ladies....I repeat....If it is not working for you, GIVE the dudes ultimatums......if they fail to meet your demands....please back your bags and gerrooooooooooooooout of the marriage.....especially, if the men decide NOT to compliment you in one form or another for the prosperity of that marriage.....it is not by force please. By God...do... not marry another man ....Nigerian or otherwise to repeat the same cycle...... Oooooooooooooooooooh!

But please, be smart enough to get your green card and a couple of kids.....the man will move on to the next 'cash cow'........You find ways to take care of yourselves.

Good news....you ladies have left Nigeria....it can only get better...MAKE SURE YOU GET YOUR KPALI...PERIOD!!!!!...The "pickin" factor is really not important.....these men used other women to get theirs, so nothing wrong with returning a small favor...



Abeg.....the rest of the 'tory' please.......haba.....

Wey the tori of the other 4 women I beg.....

[lateesha]

Originally Posted by Babine

Gosh....how long do we have to wait for the rest of this story?

Ladies, please.....nothing wrong with finding a dude to "fall in love with" for utilitarian factors.....he is using you for the same....GIVE AND TAKE.....WE ALL DO....unless we are deceiving ourselves...as usual....

Everyone needs to do their part ....... whether you marry taxi driver o, or marry doctor....all na the same. You will still go through the same 'marital' wahala till you find a way to make things work with the partner.....MOST PEOPLE IN THE DIASPORA HAVE DONE THIS.....and SUCCEEDED.....in keeping both their homes and their marriage certificates....because the MEN were great captains of the ships......If ANY marriage fails in the diaspora or in Nigeria...IT IS THE MAN'S FAULT!!!......for not taking care of his business....you can only 'cheek' a ye ye man......a man that takes care of his responsibilities can NEVER get dumped by ANY woman.....aaaaaaaaaaaaaand, you can only 'cheek' a ye ye woman......when reaaaaaaaaaaaaal women make demands....men meet them......shioooor!

You men should play your parts......go back to school when the 'cash cows' are working....IT is a hobby not a job!

Ladies....I repeat....If it is not working for you, GIVE the dudes ultimatums......if they fail to meet your demands....please back your bags and gerrooooooooooooooout of the marriage.....especially, if the men decide NOT to compliment you in one form or another for the prosperity of that marriage.....it is not by force please. By God...do... not marry another man ....Nigerian or otherwise to repeat the same cycle...... Oooooooooooooooooooh!

But please, be smart enough to get your green card and a couple of kids.....the man will move on to the next 'cash cow'........You find ways to take care of yourselves.

Good news....you ladies have left Nigeria....it can only get better...MAKE SURE YOU GET YOUR KPALI...PERIOD!!!!!...The "pickin" factor is really not important.....these men used other women to get theirs, so nothing wrong with returning a small favor...



Abeg.....the rest of the 'tory' please.......haba.....

Wey the tori of the other 4 women I beg.....

I bind thee!

[Babine]

Originally Posted by lateesha

I bind thee!

he he he.....na true na...

All these peeps making mouth here and there...how did these dudes get their own pali in the first place? Is it not by conning one or several AA or Oyinbo women?...They all swear by Sango Ota and Amadioha combined, that it was "love".....but a Naija woman must be a "user"....plus "ATM"....Cash Nama"on top.....we are the only ones with "agenda"..... we don hear ooooooooooooooooh......

Instead of them to be happy that one correct babe looked in their direction from the poverty-stricken environment of Nigeria....they are making noise...if these same dudes lived in Nigeria NO woman of such a status being a whole medical doctor would look in their directions of course.......would rather be wife #10 to one Otumba or so......nonsense!

When it gets to a Naija woman's turn people are typing rubbish...

Nonsense.....exchange is not robbery....I will be your cash cow....you give me the damn papers...then we go from there....shiooooor!

Who born monkey?

Ladies....I say no need to go back to that "rotten" Nigeria...forward ever...backward never.....get your pali and stay put!......This is where it is happening for US by US!!!!....FUBU...

If anyone is going back to Naija...let it be the dude...to go and import another cash cow and he will get dumped again and again and again......till the US homeland services flags his file under "special case studies/visa fraud"....or one woman from 'other races" pities him and takes him in as a 'dependent' migrant sex worker, for tax benefits allover again in his old age.



Next story pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeas!

Shiooooor!

[M. Akosa]

I agree with those that say "pack your bags and gerrouut" once you discover con and deciet in a marriage.

It is so pathetic and disgusting what the women do the younger men as well. I have seen several cases in Europe and North America, where an older lady will go and marry a younger man, obviously on student visa or an illegal immigrant, then use the boy endlessly, will not file for sponsorship or honor her own commitments to process the husband's paper. Some will even file the papers, and then have it withdrawn secretly, while at the same time honeying, loving and marrying the man, co- habiting under the same roof. Wasting years upon years for the poor man.

A Ghana/US citizen woman the other day, watched as her husband of over 5 years and baby daddy to her 3 kids, was deported back to Trinidad, with only a wretched T-shirt on his back, and she just immediately sold all the man's properties and investments without batting an eye lid. She has never bothered to call the man, or send a dime to him in the Caribbean. She just changed a new car and now planning on moving houses.
And yet she will soon start claiming to be single again and on the prowl and look out for a new man.

The women here in disapora are equally cunning and evil. Their victims sometimes get destroyed for life or suffer a mental breakdown or worst of all loose their lives in the process and yet, they did not smell any green card out of the marriage or in their possessions, or even have children from the marriage who will call them daddy again or even remember them one day in old age.

Some of our people here (men & women) in diaspora are very calculating, too mean and really evil.

[Oluwato]

Originally Posted by M. Akosa

I agree with those that say "pack your bags and gerrouut" once you discover con and deciet in a marriage....

If only I had heard that advice early in marriage, I was counseled to "love him to change, after all, there is nothing God can't do"...thank God I learnt, even though it was the hard way. People DO change, but one HAS TO RELATE to them at their level of change and not fall for this false teaching of "perseverance at all costs" which is the spirit of death subtly trying to take one out!

This lady in question here should have just come on a holiday to confirm that what the man said about himself was true. There is nothing wrong marrying a taxi driver if you know that's who he is, why the lie? Proverbs 26:28 -

[Babine]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....Chi e fo eeeeeeeee....oh!

Cunning man die...cunning man bury am...

I wonder why people are bringing some comparisons here....

This thread is about Nigerian men LYING....and people are typing rubbish....


You have a reputation for being the greatest liars everywhere in the world....check every dating website....Nigerian men are liars...Nigerian men are controlling....Nigerian men are cheats....

Una too lieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....ojoro masters!

Haba....na only una dey for Africa?


Make una change......abeg!

Weda you are a taxi driver or truck pusher or "Poe Carrier"....no body cares.....


STOP LYING......period!

[Vade Mecum]

Originally Posted by Babine

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....Chi e fo eeeeeeeee....oh!

Cunning man die...cunning man bury am...

I wonder why people are bringing some comparisons here....

This thread is about Nigerian men LYING....and people are typing rubbish....


You have a reputation for being the greatest liars everywhere in the world....check every dating website....Nigerian men are liars...Nigerian men are controlling....Nigerian men are cheats....

Una too lieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....ojoro masters!

Haba....na only una dey for Africa?


Make una change......abeg!

Weda you are a taxi driver or truck pusher or "Poe Carrier"....no body cares.....


STOP LYING......period!

I started this thread, for all villagers to freely air their viewpoints.

This thread is not about :

Nigerian men LYING

Any villager who is interested in the subject matter should feel free to join the debate

Simply bless others with your opinion, intelligence, experience and wisdom.

Give us your perspective. It's all about cross-fertilization of ideas

No debater should attempt to intimidate other debaters

We all must not agree on a common viewpoint

Please we should air our viewpoints and allow others to air their viewpoints peacefully, without harassment, provocation and or molestation

We should not call other debaters names, merely because they disagree with our viewpoints

No gender war please

Enjoy the debate and have fun

[M. Akosa]

Originally Posted by Oluwato

This lady in question here should have just come on a holiday to confirm that what the man said about himself was true. There is nothing wrong marrying a taxi driver if you know that's who he is, why the lie? Proverbs 26:28 -

[Oluwato]

Originally Posted by M. Akosa

My dear sister,

I agree with you. But, if due to location, financial and time constraints, people cannot verify, then a PRENUPTUAL is very highly desirable and essential for all Nigerian marriages now.
Given the level of high prevalent cases of con and deceit, it is best for every one to protect themselves, and table out their expectations from any marriage union on a legal piece of paper.
Otherwise people will marry a eunuch or closet gay thinking they have found life partners, or end up like this lady medical doctor in a derilict, stinking basement suite, suffer for years in deceit and con.

I also know my favorite NVS "prophetess" Oluwato, that no one can protect us from evil but only God alone, but at least we need human measures to guard ourselves from hurt and wasted years of suffering, inflicted on innocent people by crafty and wicked men/women

Thank you for the kind words. I learnt about the Jewish wedding in April this year (perhaps you can listen to the teaching online at the site www.shilohccc.org) and I realise that we Nigerian Christians have been "deceived". The template that we Christians were to build on (Judaism) made marriage a contract! Jews have the "Ketubah" which is a written agreement of what the husband will provide for the wife, we Nigerian Christians have been raised to "vow eternity" without a written document. In other words, Jewish marriages contain what can be construed as a prenuptial agreement, how our leaders believe that Christian marriages should contain LESS beats the imagination, especially when Christianity is the perfection of the old covenant. I just have to comfort myself with God's word, because if one meditates on the stupidity and evil that abound, one will become sick!

[Babine]

Originally Posted by Vade Mecum

I started this thread, for all villagers to freely air their viewpoints.

This thread is not about :

Any villager who is interested in the subject matter should feel free to join the debate

Simply bless others with your opinion, intelligence, experience and wisdom.

Give us your perspective. It's all about cross-fertilization of ideas

No debater should attempt to intimidate other debaters

We all must not agree on a common viewpoint

Please we should air our viewpoints and allow others to air their viewpoints peacefully, without harassment, provocation and or molestation

We should not call other debaters names, merely because they disagree with our viewpoints

No gender war please

Enjoy the debate and have fun

Thank you sir......just ma views....for I am not worthy enough to intimidate any other....I am just going my way...jejely....as usual.

Please....awaiting the next set of horror stories.

[Iye]

Originally Posted by Babine

Please....awaiting the next set of horror stories.

Vade Mecum by they way…why are you keeping us in suspense’s…this will only result in speculations and writing of point…and that’s what you don’t want.

[Ph3y]

Originally Posted by Oluwato

Thank you for the kind words. I learnt about the Jewish wedding in April this year (perhaps you can listen to the teaching online at the site www.shilohccc.org) and I realise that we Nigerian Christians have been "deceived". The template that we Christians were to build on (Judaism) made marriage a contract! Jews have the "Ketubah" which is a written agreement of what the husband will provide for the wife, we Nigerian Christians have been raised to "vow eternity" without a written document. In other words, Jewish marriages contain what can be construed as a prenuptial agreement, how our leaders believe that Christian marriages should contain LESS beats the imagination, especially when Christianity is the perfection of the old covenant. I just have to comfort myself with God's word, because if one meditates on the stupidity and evil that abound, one will become sick!

Oluwato,
Wanted to point out that many marriages contracted on the so called "Eternity Vows" are still alive and kicking today and even growing stronger by the day. You choose what's best for you. Plus is it only in naija that Ketuba is not in use???
If you like Ketubah, do it. If its marriage in Okija that appeals to you, please feel free. Ketubah or no Ketubah, A marrige would fail it is built on a wrong foundation.

From my understanding of the Bible, marriage is based on trust. Just like we can only please God through faith. Did Adam and eve sign a contract? Or Abraham and sarah?

[lateesha]

Originally Posted by Ph3y

Oluwato,
Wanted to point out that many marriages contracted on the so called "Eternity Vows" are still alive and kicking today and even growing stronger by the day. You choose what's best for you. Plus is it only in naija that Ketuba is not in use???
If you like Ketubah, do it. If its marriage in Okija that appeals to you, please feel free. Ketubah or no Ketubah, A marrige would fail it is built on a wrong foundation.

From my understanding of the Bible, marriage is based on trust. Just like we can only please God through faith. Did Adam and eve sign a contract? Or Abraham and sarah?

Gbam!
A written contract will not stop deception or prevent infidelity.
The marriage vows is an oral contract and still can't stop anyone from anything including taking on a second wife.

[Oluwato]

Originally Posted by Ph3y

Oluwato,
Wanted to point out that many marriages contracted on the so called "Eternity Vows" are still alive and kicking today and even growing stronger by the day. You choose what's best for you. Plus is it only in naija that Ketuba is not in use???

Point out by whose research? Present the data... Obviously you don't even understand what I'm talking about. You think Ketubah is a signed document? It may be signed and it may not be signed, it depends on the couple. Ketubah is simply an understanding of what to expect in marriage and it is simple, clear and realistic. It would have been better if you asked questions than attempt to point out what you obviously are ignorant on.

Originally Posted by Ph3y

If you like Ketubah, do it. If its marriage in Okija that appeals to you, please feel free. Ketubah or no Ketubah, A marrige would fail it is built on a wrong foundation.

The foundation is the deception which could have been prevented with a Ketubah!

Originally Posted by Ph3y

From my understanding of the Bible, marriage is based on trust. Just like we can only please God through faith. Did Adam and eve sign a contract? Or Abraham and sarah?

Signing is not the issue here, agreement is. Yes Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah HAD an agreement and KEPT the terms of their agreement, that's what a ketubah expresses, an agreement! The conditions of betrayal are built into a ketubah. Also, trust is based on knowledge, if there is deception in the trust-forming process, then the "trust" is shattered. It's one of the reasons why it is good to confirm things during the dating/courtship stage.

[Vade Mecum]

Originally Posted by Iye

Vade Mecum by they way…why are you keeping us in suspense’s…this will only result in speculations and writing of point…and that’s what you don’t want.

"Why We Left Our Husbands”…5 Women Provide Startling Reasons

The Decaying State of Marriage in the Diasporan Community

The Diasporan Sep 19, 2009 By Ekerete Udoh

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2009/09/1...ran-community/

•To Be Continued next Week. Don’t Miss this Riveting Story

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2009/09/1...ran-community/


Dear Iye,

Hopefully, the story will continue next sunday.

Cheers

[Ph3y]

Point out by whose research? Present the data... Obviously you don't even understand what I'm talking about. You think Ketubah is a signed document? It may be signed and it may not be signed, it depends on the couple. Ketubah is simply an understanding of what to expect in marriage and it is simple, clear and realistic.

....I still insist that Ketubah does not guarantee a fail-proof marriage. It doesn't stop the guy or lady from walking away from it all. I also pointed out that those "eternity vows" you claimed were deceptive works.....If you need proof of that then it means you're so out of touch with reality. I personally know more people who were married based on those vows and are still together. If you need proof, i don't mind typing out their contacts so you can call them to confirm.

The template that we Christians were to build on (Judaism) made marriage a contract! Jews have the "Ketubah" which is a written agreement of what the husband will provide for the wife

You said the above yourself o....That it was a written agreement....unless of course you meant it was "written in the air".....To me written agreement means the document [real or virtual] has to be attested to. If you go Here you will see how i reached my assumption of it being signed. Remember the Berean Christians, They went back to study and confirm whatever they were taught from scriptures.....To make sure they got their facts right. So i am not talking 'ignorantly' here. unless of course you definition of ignorance is the fact that we were not taught by the same Rabbi.

The foundation is the deception which could have been prevented with a Ketubah!

I still don't agree with this. Cos my understanding of your ketubah is that it is to protect the woman in case the guy dies or divorces her....So you see Even our almighty Ketubah does not necessarily make the marriage last forever

It would have been better if you asked questions than attempt to point out what you obviously are ignorant on.

Finally Madam, I do not like your statement above. We can discuss issues intelligently without using statements like the above..........
Enjoy your day

[Vade Mecum]

Marriage is an institution that is very seriously misunderstood by many people

Those who regard marriage as a bed of roses, must also remember that a stem of rose flowers, comes with thorns.

God who created the rose flower is a perfect God

Therefore, we must try to learn the lessons, built into the roses and thistles mystery

Why did God include thorns in his design of the beautiful, silky textured, sweet fragranced and beautifully colored rose flower, stem, et al ?

Lesson: Life, and that includes any marriage is a mixture of roses and thorns

You cannot accept one and abandon the other

A divinely ordained marriage is a school of life

Marital partners must learn to see each other as teachers and students all rolled into one.

Marital partners must figure out as early as possible in the union, the lessons they can and must learn from each other.

This is where the foundation for a successful marital union is established

Funny enough, the lessons learnt in a marital setting, are the very same lessons that will help to propel one to greater heights in the big world out there.

In a divinely ordained marriage, you grow together with your spouse in experience, wisdom, understanding, knowledge and maturity

Among the lessons we learn in a marriage are tolerance, endurance, perseverance, patience et al

Trials and Temptations as well as joy, happiness, love and prosperity are all embedded in every marriage

Then again, are we ready to tarry in a marriage till we are mature enough to see the brighter, happier and more beautiful side of marriage ?

Are we ready to tarry in a marriage till we are mature enough to handle and to discover the blessings embedded in our marital union ?

James 1: 2 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him”

In a marriage, just like in everything else, there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven :

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

May God grant us the wisdom and understanding to recognize the different times and different seasons inherent in marriage and in life

May God grant us the maturity and fortitude to endure and to enjoy all the trials and triumphs inherent in marriage and in life

[liloldlady]

Even rope, will not keep a person in a marriage they do not want to stay in.
written in ink o, stone o, blood o...nothing will keep a person where they do not want to be.
or make them observe any rules they do not choose to.

Anyway that is not the 'wan dat', is doing me, right now.

I have a pet peeve. It is the reckless use of apostophe in sentences.
and I see a Satanic sprinkling of redundant apostrophes on this thread.
I know we live in a world of plumeting punctuation standards, I am going through a very private emotional process as a result.
I am being tortured by it.
I don gasp in horror tire.
It is like being burnt with a lit ciggy....
It is like personal bereavement....first the shock,....within seconds disbelief....then comes the pain...and as the pain wanes....there then comes this overwhelming desire to p.m. the individual, and ask them to cease and desist, such wanton acts of vandalism, to an otherwise pleasant post. It is not to be countenanced.
There is also a difference between off, and of.
common peeps this is not hard.

[lateesha]

Originally Posted by liloldlady

Even rope, will not keep a person in a marriage they do not want to stay in.
written in ink o, stone o, blood o...nothing will keep a person where they do not want to be.
or make them observe any rules they do not choose to.

Anyway that is not the 'wan dat', is doing me, right now.

I have a pet peeve. It is the reckless use of apostophe in sentences.
and I see a Satanic sprinkling of redundant apostrophes on this thread.
I know we live in a world of plumeting punctuation standards, I am going through a very private emotional process as a result.
I am being tortured by it.
I don gasp in horror tire.
It is like being burnt with a lit ciggy....
It is like personal bereavement....first the shock,....within seconds disbelief....then comes the pain...and as the pain wanes....there then comes this overwhelming desire to p.m. the individual, and ask them to cease and desist, such wanton acts of vandalism, to an otherwise pleasant post. It is not to be countenanced.
There is also a difference between off, and of.
common peeps this is not hard.

What is your "problem" ?