Whose house is it anyway?

I need your help!

This is a palaver, that I have no clue how to deal with! I have a mother-in-law who has taken it upon herself to think that my matrimonial home is also her home. Mind you, this woman lives in Naija while we live in the states.

In the only spare...

Click here to read the entire palava

[MrsChocT]

Originally Posted by Balo

Just cam across this thread. Lati, you are a gem. AV, sorry but na you get the wahala - your mum-in-law from what I have glimpsed from what you have written sounds like a woman who has accepted you into her heart but for one strange reason or the other you resent her. As for me I pity your hussy bigtime!

Abeg Sharrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppppppppppp, better pepu dey talk, here come this billy g again. What do you know about real life issues? I need to flog you....Shiorrrrrrrr

[busanga]

You and your MIL have serious issues. I only pity the man caught in between the shenanigans and the childishness of both of you. For all the men putting up with this silliness, I say kudos. By the way, may be you should quit watching those naija movies and just live your life and stop making unnecessary enemies. lol

[Balo]

Originally Posted by Serious_Naijababe

Abeg Sharrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppppppppppp, better pepu dey talk, here come this billy g again. What do you know about real life issues? I need to flog you....Shiorrrrrrrr

Sweetie, I think you need to take a chill pill. Na wetin I do you now? Just stating the facts as I see it.

[MrsChocT]

Originally Posted by Balo

Sweetie, I think you need to take a chill pill. Na wetin I do you now? Just stating the facts as I see it.

Who be your sweetie...yeye man

[Balo]

Originally Posted by Auspicious

Baloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
.
.
.
No, I don't think that was loud enough:
.
.
.
BALOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Esu fun ra e! Finally, I got you figured out...FINALLY!!!

Auspicious.

Bro, Lati just called it the way it should have been called. AV from what she has posted has no real issues other than the one she imagined or has manufactured due to her insecurities.

[MrsChocT]

Billy G Balo, u are still here......you need to be flogged

[Balo]

Originally Posted by Serious_Naijababe

Billy G Balo, u are still here......you need to be flogged

Errr, no thanks. I don't do that perverted stuff.

[HolyPagan]

Originally Posted by Balo

Errr, no thanks. I don't do that perverted stuff.

Balo I thought you love formular 1....

The last I heard, Men who love formular 1 love to be flogged..not just by 1 but 5 women.
so it will be
Babine
Simbili
Wizzy
Dewdrops
and
SNB????

[emj]

Originally Posted by Auspicious

Not if you're married to Auspy's daughter!

Nna, you go hia nwehn!

Auspicious.

Eherm u go carry mat go there? Do u know that your daughter is on her way here?The next u will hear is me bringing Iru Woroo from Nigeria for her to cook with...i hope she knows how to cook o...me i sabi eat, and it has to be at least 24 course meal

[Balo]

Originally Posted by liloldlady

Balo I thought you love formular 1....

The last I heard, Men who love formular 1 love to be flogged..not just by 1 but 5 women.
so it will be
Babine
Simbili
Wizzy
Dewdrops
and
SNB????

Explanate yasef please. Not true as far as I know, I can recall about five recent champs from Damon, Nigel, Michael, Alonzo, Lewis, Jenson don't do such o.

[Lalakokofefe]

Hmm.. AV, i pondered a while before responding to your palava, reason? My mother also visits quite often, and sometimes leaves clothes and a few toiletries behind, for her next visit, especially winter clothes. And she usually uses the same room while she is here. Also, i dont know about you, but most people usually like having older women around from naija.. it usually means you will be relieved of some cooking duties...

Bottom line? Its all in the attitude you adopt.

[MsWoman]

AV:

God dey your side oh! To come on NVS and to be getting Dr. Phil type of advice even though I hate the guy with a passion. The men did great, I mus admit! As for Balo and busanga you are not serious at all. Real men dey talk people like you dey show face! Shio! Auspi and SHoko for PResident se'e! Lalaks voice of reason ori yin kpe ba-je!

If I still may, many have said good things here, it's up to you! The attitude na the ko-ko of the matter. I think our perception at times, affects our judgment and our ability to look at things from a point of view that is more commonplace. Hie-ver, like Auspi said, you are the one who knows what you are going through and maybe our perceptions are the thwarted ones, we will never know, but I took a class recently, and the instructor mentioned that the only way to practically be ahead in any game is to develop political savvy that is become one heck of a "kill him/her with kindness" kind of person and see if they will have any other choice. You will become their best friend and confidante! At that point you can then use this against them again! Na lie oh! Anyway, you sef be like somebody wey one listen. You wan develop tude before bet come sheng am! I give you hand for this one you try sha! Please God in fact, I have decided to move to Alaska! Yes! Alaska! See if one grandma can withstand the cold in Alaska! He-he-he! Not to talk of having a whole room?! Na cold go chase her comot (my mama included)! I nor want any nagging in my house! @

[Balo]

, hehehehe!

[emj]

YouTube - Diana Ross - "It's My House" - Caesar's Palace, 1979 (Part 7 of 17)
Gd night all

[OverLoad]

Politics!!..Politics !!! Politics...I say it all the time...
You need to know how to put your game hat on. Forreals...everything na politics....in the bedroom, boardroom, living room , kitchen anywhere you have contact with a body other than your body, you need to learn how to play your games.

The way I see it, (using an unrelated example) I go in to work 8hrs of the day, I dont necessarily get along (or a more cliche way to say it "have anything in common") with some of my colleagues other than the job(and maybe a few happy hours... ).

In order to get things done, I need to "act right" pending the time am there, which might mean a-s-s licking my boss, wearing a plastic-surgery type of smile even when deep inside of me, am cursing out the french guy with garlic breath who cant say the word "THE" to save his life and who "coincidentally" is an important entity within the organization. So I have to compel myself to decode "ZE" as "THE" anytime he speaks, not easy but guess what? I gotta do it if I plan on keeping "ZE" ohh sorry...."THE" job.

My point?? --- I have identified my potential problem areas at work
(problem-communication) and have designed a method to maneuver it (solution-actively decoding certain words in addition to spreading my satellite ears)

Lets try this again using ur situation
"Potential problem areas at home" --

MIL hanging pata, bra, winter coat all over the house

Possible solutions
1) If u r a neat freak pick up after her
2) Any time u walk by the room close your eyes and say psalm 37:7 (if u be christian)
Geddit????

I wouldnt necessarily call your situation trivial, but guess what??... you can trivalise it. Just as co-workers, your MIL will not be with you 24-7. When she visits she will leave eventually, the period of "cohabitation" may be stressful, but learn how to adapt to different situations in life. Soon you will get used to it.

My friends come over to mines, and if u visited me you would think I have room-mates, my friends' things all over the place, u wan try how many times I check my bathroom to make sure none of them hanged their thongs on the shower cotton rack overnight whenever I have guests??.... pscheewwww....(shuu am sorry 9ja women I had to out u...but y'll be hanging ur underwear on the towel rack now.... ).
Initially I was like WTH??, but guess what, I got used to it, so the next time I see a red looking thong thats definitely not my size, I just rake am comot if I get company, and we have all lived happily ever after.

Omo, take am easy, when u conquer this "problem" , you will realise it wasnt as big as u thought it was when you were in it. Goodluck!!!

[Auspicious]

Originally Posted by OverLoad

....(shuu am sorry 9ja women I had to out u...but y'll be hanging ur underwear on the towel rack now.... )

Hai, OverLoaded OverLoad!

Bia ah fit come hang my Bossers (Boxers) on ya Tawel Rack?

Now, don't tell me "no!", oh! Cuz na my hat yu wan break so..

Auspicious.

[MrsChocT]

Originally Posted by Balo

Just cam across this thread. Lati, you are a gem.

It is spelled "came"......olodo

[Lalakokofefe]

Originally Posted by Serious_Naijababe

It is spelled "came"......olodo

Score 1 - 1 Goal Less Draw ....

[agensheku]

Originally Posted by lateesha

Fire on



Still listening

.

and this is the palaver?
a woman left her clothes in her son's house and it is now "a problem" ?



And somehow you think she doesn't know that the room will eventually be your childs?
and when that happens and she comes to visit,do you plan on keeping her clothes in the garage?
Or will her clothes contaminate the baby's You have no issues

.

The MIL is not entitled to entertainment abi?
do you run a nazi camp or what?
don't other people have music and TV in their guest rooms?



I say you have no issues
This is a caring woman who has taken you as her own daughter and here you are calling her names.God forgive you



How rude of you!
Your response should have been
That would be very kind of you ma,thank you ma.
all that crap about her son and you not eating much is bull
You could always give some of the food away
use your commonsense dear

!

You are the problem not your MIL.
Go and do a pregnancy test,your hormones are getting the better part of you and if the test is positive,I say congrats.
I forgive you.



I say you need an education on how to treat your MIL



Your maami is a saint and your MIL is a devil
who shall we ask.
abeg leave mama alone and solve your other problems




What an insecure woman thou art!
You need prayers



why would a few things here and there in a guest room bother you this much.
You have serious problems unconnected to your MIL




The poor woman must be going through a ton of abuse in your hands.
I hope you don't poison her fanta at this rate
God forbid!


.

Looking for a problem where there's none
does she poo poo on the wall?
Does she shed fur?
grow up I say




Don't take out the stress of your life on mama
I said earlier that your issues are not mama related and I was right.
get a maidservice to clean up once in a while.
You complain this bitterly about cooking for mama and yet you want God to bless you with children.
Do you think caring for kids is equivalent to eating puff puff?
You need to ask questions.


.

mama is not your competition I say.
leave her alone ,please!





You owe your MIL respect and you have absolutely none
That is the problem here
Most likely your relationship with your husband is strained too
You already told us your job is hell on earth
what more can I say
De-stress your life and leave mama out of it
Good luck

Honestly,you said it all,Lateesha!when i started reading,i thought a man was the complainant!unless the delay in pregnancy is the husband s fault,this woman had better start looking for a bedsitter.maybe she does not know the mama get say almost past her for that house,abi she no be nija?untll she bears the man a baby,at least she is on visiting visa in that house.i pray God grants her full residency visa plus the commonsense to recognise that mama as her own too.thats the plain truth.if she continues being grumpy with her mom in law,she will return from work one day to see say mama don bring "home delivery" come from lagos,one who within two months of arrival go get belle,kawai!he he he,then she go know who get house true true.na before say mai miyan(soup owner)get husband!now,na mai yaro de yariyan(one with male and female kids)get am!

[Spicey]

Take things easy Av, you see this marriage business or institution is not an easy one oh!, it only becomes a lot more easier when you look into your partners eye and still find love in there notwithstanding the present situation of things. Basically that is the more reason why newly weds especially the brides are always advised to adore herself with robes made of patience, tolerance and endurance, as they are integral and indispensable in every successful union. Take heart my sister as this too shall pass.

BTW, find time to do a pregnancy test; it may be the hormones at work. Besides have you thought about your reaction if someday you discover that your DIL is wearing your shoe today? Put yourself together and beseech your maker for that much needed strength to attain victory.

Above all, challenge yourself to make mama’s visit a pleasurable and memorable one. Avoid all negative thoughts of any kind. Always endeavour to purify your thoughts at all times; the power inherent in pure loving thoughts will in turn ennoble and illuminate your environment; such that will bring you peace. Housemaid for mama if you must, the strength to do all that will be granted you; all you need is only ask and it will be yours.