Whose house is it anyway?

I need your help!

This is a palaver, that I have no clue how to deal with! I have a mother-in-law who has taken it upon herself to think that my matrimonial home is also her home. Mind you, this woman lives in Naija while we live in the states.

In the only spare...

Click here to read the entire palava

[abeyance]

Got the below via email. looks relevant to this thread.


Bible in One Year:
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
(Ex 38 - Ex 40)

Memorise: "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (1 Tim 5:8)

Read: 1 Timothy 5:7-8
7 And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless.
8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Gen 2:24).

The one who wants to get married must be independent of his or her parents. Marriage is about maturity. It suggests that the man and woman going into it are saying, "Daddy, mummy, you have been taking decisions for us since we were born. But now, we have come of age and are capable of taking decisions for ourselves". Some men marry and bring their spouse into the family house. This is wrong. That woman will soon become the slave of the family. No matter how close the family house is, when married, keep your distance from it, and take an independent apartment for you and your spouse. You will visit the family house periodically. When the child takes ill, even before their husband knows, some women would have told their mothers. Stop bothering your parents! Let them have peace as they get advanced in age.

If the above scripture is anything to go by, it is that it presents a foundational but hard truth: The extent to which the couple are mentally, physically and financially detached from their parents is the extent to which they can cleave together. This tells us therefore that over zealous parents who always poke their nose in the homes of their children, may be the stumbling block to a vibrant and fruitful home. If you are concerned about your children, take it to God regularly in prayer. If you need to take a step, He will guide you. How will you feel if, when we get to Heaven, the Lord tells you that you were responsible for the failure of your son or daughter's marriage? Do not stand in their way! Do not take sides. Be fair as much as possible but take more time to pray. Even when you have an idea of their desired solution, pray about it and if the Lord gives you the go-ahead to convey it to them, inform the two of them. Let it be a suggestion, not a command. After all, they will be held responsible for their actions and decisions as adults. The only issue you can be firm about is what the Bible says on a given situation. You can lovingly refer them to such passages.

ACTION POINT:
Ask that every negative influence over your children and wards will wane. Pray that Christ will be fully formed in their hearts.

[enna inot]

@ AV;am glad you said you found what you originally came here for;the right suggestions on what to do next.
Boy,i love NVS more and more each day.Trust posters on NVS to come up with brilliant,PRACTICAL suggestions. Am not married yet,but I have learnt a lot from this and similar posts. Trust me.
You know its funny how total strangers can help us in ways we never would have imagined.Thank God for the internet and the anonymity it provides.
AV,thanks for sharing and i sincerely pray you find Happiness and Satisfaction in your marriage.

[agensheku]

Originally Posted by ikoyiesho1

Kai, See how villagers have turned this thread to Night of a thousand laughs, Na wah ooo, some people are just too terrible, walahi, AV my humble advice is that, while you take it easy with your mother in law you should ensure that, you sort things with your husband, as in giving boundaries to your guests, I have seen cases like this, walahi, if care is not taken, you will loose your happiness in your husbands house..

I understand you, the fault is not yours at all, take it easy, but I don't think you should give her chance...She simply has an agenda! that is my 10kobo

WHY DO DATING GIRLS CRAVE THEIR BOYFRIENDS TO TAKE THEM HOME GO MEET HIS MOM?NO BE FOR APPROVAL THAT THEY WILL SUIT MAMAS BOY NICELY?AFTER MARRIAGE,WHY SHOULD MIL SUDDENLY BECOME A VISITOR FROM MARS OR AN ILLEGAL ALLIEN IN HER SON S HOME?do unto others as you want them do unto you,chikena.

[MrsChocT]

Madam Nonee, I am doing a follow up. I hope the situation is much better now and you have learned how to approach and interract with your new mother. Continue to pray for wisdom and the good Lord will give it to you. And as for those babies, they are on their way, via special delivery in IJN. It is well.