Sex Palava

my boyfriend likes doggy but i think it is dirty. anyone else have that...

Click here to read the entire palava

[Iye]

Originally Posted by Anonymous Villager

this is the av. i like missionary becos we can kiss and hug. doggy makes me feel dirty like he is using me just to come. i told him i dont like it but he says he likes it a lot. can he not just do without it? it is just one position.

My dia…this your palava is not an easy one ooooh…..IMHO you should not be having sex, missionary or bishop in the first place.

Now you want us to answer why your bf will not do only missionary with you….ok give me his name and phone number and I promise I will make him change his mind about doggy……this offer ends soon, so be quick about it.

[ikechiji]

Originally Posted by Anonymous Villager

i like missionary

I prefer Jihad style!

[emj]

Originally Posted by binta

I would like to say NVS is really an interesting site.This tread is very funny and interesting too.I'll be back soon.

Come back here Binta

[IZONERE]

Originally Posted by ikechiji

I prefer Jihad style!

Oh my goodness. I have this horrible image of Ikechiji in a long kaftan with huge turban on his head getting it on (or trying to) with a hapless young lady fully covered in a burqa.

At climax, they both shout a frenzied "Allahu akbar" and blow themselves up.

[Eja]

Originally Posted by Anonymous Villager

this is the av. i like missionary becos we can kiss and hug. doggy makes me feel dirty like he is using me just to come. i told him i dont like it but he says he likes it a lot. can he not just do without it? it is just one position.

Dear woman, there are some questions I need to ask you before I can help you with this your palava. Please bear with me.

1. Are you born again?
2. Do you normally come when you nack missionary/jihad style?
3. Do you read your bible (esp. Song Of Solomon) before intercourse?
4. How long does foreplay normally last before you and your snoop dawg start mamboing?
5. Does your boyfriend accept Jesus as his Lord and Saviour?
6. How long does the sex last? I hope your boyfriend is not like one of my paddys who refuses to watch porno because according to him, "they are very unrealistic, sex in them goes on and on, meanwhile, everybody knows that sex does not take more than 2 minutes.."
7. Have you thought of seeking counseling from a good and wise Christian minister (preferably TB Joshua)?
8. Aside from the in and out of genitalia, do you and your boyfriend resort to other methods of enjoying each others bodies?
9. Has your **** been sanctified? Sometimes, women find it hard to reach orgasm because a Man Of God has not yet laid hands on their ****. If you are one such woman, please seek (post haste) a Man Of God and beg him to bless your monkey.

God Bless and good shagging sister.

I am your brother
Senior Ebangelist Eja

[lateesha]

Originally Posted by ikechiji

I prefer Jihad style!

There's nothing I won't hear
Do you live in Islamabad?

[lateesha]

@ the poster,tell your bf to

1.put a ring on it
2.walk you down the aisle

then come back and pm me let's talk.

[oluomo]

Originally Posted by binta

I would like to say NVS is really an interesting site.This tread is very funny and interesting too.I'll be back soon.

Haba Binta, don't leave me alone now. You know it's winter...................

[MrsChocT]

I don't think AV is asking for moral advice though she would get it anyway. AV is just asking for add lib to support her "position" as the best.

If you don't know how to say no to something you feel this dispassionate about, that means you can always go for anything just to please somebody else. That to me is never a wise option. You don't like doggy, tell am. If u no tell am, how di bobo go know? But me think say u dey enjoy am, if not, you no go dey do am.

[Vade Mecum]

Originally Posted by Anonymous Villager

My boyfriend likes doggy but I think it is dirty. Anyone else have that problem?

This is the av. I like missionary because we can kiss and hug. Doggy makes me feel dirty like he is using me just to come. I told him I don’t like it but he says he likes it a lot. Can he not just do without it? it is just one position.

I do not know whether this palaver is real or concocted. However for the fact that I can see the seriousness of the issue raised by A.V., and the added fact that many young persons would obviously be going through the same predicament in silence, and would be too ashamed and or embarrassed to voice out their feelings and discomfort to anybody; I have decided to advice A. V.

From the perspective of a matured and experienced 'sex bomber cum sex machine', this palaver would be seen from the theatrical and comical perspective. However, an inexperienced 18 year old girl, from a functional and cultured background, would really see this issue as an extremely serious, traumatic and deeply emotionally disturbing palaver.

A. V., I am under the impression that you merely hinted on the issue. You could not summon the courage to go into the details. You deem it improper to spill the depth of the revulsion, with which you are enduring and tolerating the debasing and dishonorable sexual attitude of your boyfriend. I guess your beef is not just with the doggy style, but the depressing and demeaning message, his sexual predatory attitude and loveless perspective are conveying to your psyche.

Anonymous Villager

I like missionary because we can kiss and hug. Doggy makes me feel dirty like he is using me just to come.

You want love making not just to be a sex-punch -bag for some adventurous sex hungry and sex starved sexual predator. You want to be loved and treated with respect. You desire a passionate lover. You want a lover that would care about you, your feelings and sensibilities. You want a true loving relationship. You are asking for a love affair with integrity, depth and honor.

What you have now, is a situation, whereby you are able to decode from the absence of passion, emotion, feelings and care that you have been reduced to a glorified sex slave. Truth is; you have been deceptively wooed, manipulated and maneuvered with sweet, bloated, pompous, bombastic and pretentious but empty promises, into submitting your body and honor to the satisfaction of the insatiable sexual appetite and consumption of an ignorant and inglorious sexual predator.

Now you understand why the Holy Bible very clearly advised us to flee from fornication.

If it feels not like love, it is not love. What you want is love. Unfortunately, what your boyfriend want is sexual conquest. Now retrace your steps. It is obvious from your palaver that you are still very green, inexperienced and vulnerable. Stop the affair immediately.

Seek a proper love relationship under serious spiritual and moral guidance. If you marry right, you will find true love. Ask God for his protection and guidance. Now, you understand, why the Holy Bible advised us not to engage in sex before marriage. In a divinely ordained marriage, you will find true love.

[Lalakokofefe]

Originally Posted by ikechiji

I prefer Jihad style!

Since they say we should always ask what we dont know, abeg, ikechiji, wetin be jihad style? Is that like with swords and knives?

[liloldlady]

Originally Posted by oluomo

Haba Binta, don't leave me alone now. You know it's winter...................

Oluomo so you appoint ya sef 'Bello' for Binta ehn?

[liloldlady]

Originally Posted by Vade Mecum

I do not know whether this palaver is real or concocted. However for the fact that I can see the seriousness of the issue raised by A.V., and the added fact that many young persons would obviously be going through the same predicament in silence, and would be too ashamed and or embarrassed to voice out their feelings and discomfort to anybody; I have decided to advice A. V.

From the perspective of a matured and experienced 'sex bomber cum sex machine', this palaver would be seen from the theatrical and comical perspective. However, an inexperienced 18 year old girl, from a functional and cultured background, would really see this issue as an extremely serious, traumatic and deeply emotionally disturbing palaver.

A. V., I am under the impression that you merely hinted on the issue. You could not summon the courage to go into the details. You deem it improper to spill the depth of the revulsion, with which you are enduring and tolerating the debasing and dishonorable sexual attitude of your boyfriend. I guess your beef is not just with the doggy style, but the depressing and demeaning message, his sexual predatory attitude and loveless perspective is conveying to you

Anonymous Villager


You want love making not just to be a sex-punch -bag for some adventurous sex hungry and sex starved sexual predator. You want to be loved and treated with respect. You desire a passionate lover. You want a lover that would care about you, your feelings and sensibilities. You want a true loving relationship. You are asking for a love affair with integrity, depth and honor.

What you have now, is a situation, whereby you are able to decode from the absence of passion, emotion, feelings and care that you have been reduced to a glorified sex slave. Truth is; you have been deceptively wooed, manipulated and maneuvered with sweet, boated, pompous, bombastic and pretentious but empty promises, into submitting your body and honor for the sexual consumption of an ignorant sexual predator.

Now you understand why the Holy Bible very clearly advised us to flee from fornication.

If it is feels not like love, it is not love. What you want is love. What your boyfriend wants is sexual conquest. Now retrace your steps. It is obvious from your palaver that you are still very green, inexperienced and vulnerable. Stop the affair immediately.

Seek a proper love relationship under serious spiritual and moral guidance. If you marry right, you will find true love. Ask God for his protection and guidance. Now, you understand, why the Holy Bible advised us not to engage in sex before marriage. In a divinely ordained marriage, you will find true love.

AV see wetin you cause...see now ehn?
hen.

[liloldlady]

A friend had a boyfriend she used to call Dive bomber behind his back.....she said he just dove straight in..no preamble no dilly dally..ing according to her

[Iye]

All this kind NVS pastors sef..

[MrsChocT]

@Lilo, Dive bomber.........om goodness..........things dey happen..never heard that before..

Hmmm, wait a min, I didn't know women compared notes or talked about their lovers..... well only if he is a bad one and they're done with him...

Cos I have heard of cases where women spoke fantastic things of their superb lovers to friends.... Guess what, the friends went to sample it!!

Hmm, AV you will get an eyeful, you ain't seen nothing yet.. Pastor VM, welcome

[Iye]

Originally Posted by MrsChocT

Hmmm, wait a min, I didn't know women compared notes or talked about their lovers..... well only if he is a bad one and they're done with him...

Were did I hear….that sex is not complete till you tell a third party

[liloldlady]

Women gist O well well....No be small....and you know women are good with detail.....to the minutest detail can be gisted about
solidarity and sisterhood, meant anybody that goes to chop another's Bobo behind her back, will end up being blacklisted...forever.
One girl used to do it in Unilag......na so everybody dey yab am everyday, no be small.
Problem was, she go kwik donate when substantive chasee still dey make yanga....sooo annoying.
word went round the bobos on campus, that she was awesome in Bed...but she never had a boyfriend just donating all over the place.
She was a real Animashaun.

[binta]

Originally Posted by emj

Come back here Binta

EMJ, am here to stay. Going nowhere!

[binta]

Originally Posted by oluomo

Haba Binta, don't leave me alone now. You know it's winter...................

Excuse me, what do u mean? It's winter and so what?