I guess we should distinguish between "child abuse" and "child correction" vis-a-vis the use of a cane.
Correction is aimed and modifying a child's behavior, using the cane to achieve such purpose, is not always required and MUST be a last option but all the same, its an option that is open and should remain open.
Lets not get too sentimental about it. My Mum (she was a teacher from day one till she retired after 36years in service!) was the one who applies the cane and today, when l reflect on certain things l had done and she wielded the stick, l thank god that she wasn't one of those parents that would shirk their responsibility and later cry foul. I benefited from her cane BUT not all children need to be caned. Canning should not be the norm and if you have to use it, ENSURE that you explain to the child FIRST, why the cane is the only option left.
I remember the first day my son took money from my purse, without my permission (its a long story but l will summarize). He enrolled in a new school and made new friends who influenced his behavior negatively. I verbally scolded him seriously and let him know that all he needed to do was ask and if l think its right, l will give him. He promised not to do so again.
I later discovered that he repeated the offense again and even lied when l confronted him. I showed him the remaining left-over change (went through his school bag).
That day, l was so mad and so angry that in his presence, l busted into tears (never cried in the last 25 years that l can remember, except when l lost my dear Mum), the sorrow was so deep because he was my eldest son and l respect him so much.
After relieving myself of my pain and anger (the tears did that for me) l took him into my room, sat him down and "thrashed him with words". I told him l love him but l was going to cane him because he has failed to abide by our initial agreement: that he would not ever take anything thats not his. I took pains to explain to him that the "pain of the cane" was to be a reminder to him. With love and care, l caned him, he cried and l cried also. Afterwards, l cuddled him on my laps and we discussed the whole event then, he asked me why l was crying when l was not the one being caned and l told him that "it saddens me" and pains me, to see him suffer pain. I made him understand that l do not derive any pleasure from canning him, l just wanted him to be MY SON, someone to make me proud.
Till today, years after, my son has grown up to be somebody am so proud of, his wisdom and sense of value is far beyond his age. The best in his class, a medic to be in future, very caring, intuitive and each time l read the letter l made him write (still stuck on my wall till today: l promise Daddy and Mummy to be a good boy; and he signed it with his name!) back then, after his canning, l just smile. If he annoys me, l just call him and make him read "his promise", he will apologize and am sure that issue will no come up, for a long time but you know, we are all humans and imperfect
As long as you love your child and want the best for him, as long as you understand that canning must never be done when you're angry, that the child must understand why such extreme step needs to be taken, that canning is for correction and not for punishment and that you are dealing with a child and not one "incurable adult criminal" and you pray for, and along with your child, the issue of child abuse should not arise.
You cannot and should not abuse that which you love.
Its better if you can avoid the cane and still get the same result. Children are different, even when of the same parents, situations differ. A "child" is not mature enough to correct by canning, another child.
In all, never loose your self-control; Anger is madness, dont ever correct a child in anger.
As problematic as the Nigerian society is, despite all the avoidable stress, our children still respect and honor their parents much more than the western society we try to emulate.
What do you think?
10Kobo stuff.