We have been married five years and counting, and she is one of the most beautiful creatures on earth. Lately since she got this new job, about 9mths ago, our reasonably calm and happy life has been in an upheaval. She comes home late, she is always on a business trip, to quite far-flung places, a day care centre is practically raising our two kids, and nannies since I am quite busy myself with work. While happy that she has her dream job, I can't understand why her business calls which come at odd hours of the night and are always conducted in stilted tones, or away from my presence. Prior to now, I had always provided for both of us. I have tried not to be paranoid, but it's going to five moths since I have noticed that she refuses to take "certain calls" when I am around. If her phone rings (with two particular ring tones I have come to memorize), she immediately scampers away to talk somewhere more private. It never used to be this way. She now makes withdrawals from our joint accounts which she cannot account for, and which she says she owes me no explanation for. The final straw was a recent business trip where when our son had to be taken to an emergency room by 3am, no one could get a hold of her. She was neither in her hotel room and the last time anyone saw her was with the colleague of hers who incidentally appears to have become a reoccurring decimal in our relationship. She explained that she was asleep and her phone was silent, but what I failed to tell her was that I was worried enough to lie to the reception that she has a medical condition that causes her to black out sometimes and I asked them to check on her, and No, she certainly was not in her room on that night. I have not been bold enough to confront her with this lie. His name crops up in the most innocuous position, and she reports directly to him. He has even become her financial advisor. I have tried to talk to her about the change in her attitude but she keeps telling me that I am imagining things and that I am simply jealous that she is now an independent woman. I do not know what to do or how else to approach her to save this marriage. I am of course assuming that it is still worth saving and I do love my wife. While I have no concrete proof of her infidelity, I am tempted to hire a private eye to get the entire dish for me, or to dig up the dirt, but I wonder whether I would be able to handle the news if my suspicions are confirmed. Sometimes I wonder if I am over reacting, and other times, in my moments of reflection, I know this is not the woman I married. I would like to know what people think please, especially the male folks on this site. What steps would you take to address this issue if you were in my shoes?