Single mothers.. villains or victims?

[Oluwato]

God's plan is for children to be born and raised in the security of a monogamous marriage. I am a divorcee and being a single mother has not been easy but I am grateful to God for being my Husband and for being the Father to my sons. I am also thankful to Him for giving me the grace to marry again.

I have always disagreed with the sperm donor/sperm bank thing, which is legalized fornication in my own opinion. The first worlds have "promoted" fornication through the single mothers program and that is a shame.

That said, any single mother who goes to God, repents and trusts Him to be her husband and Father to her children will have no regrets... God specializes in working around for good what Satan intended for evil!

[heart-thief]

I don't encourage giving birth out of wedlock and neither do i condemn single mothers too. So many things attributes to such situations, some are unplanned for and some were just beyond control.

It is every woman's wish to give birth n raise them in the house of the man she did with, but i guess becoming a single parent when an unplanned pregnancy occurs is far better than aborting innocent babies in the name of "waiting for mr. right" or "waiting for a wedding ring" and making people believe 'am truly virtuous/righteous'. I don't wish to be a single parent, but i wld gladly embrace it if it so happens.

A child raised in the home of dual parents does not automatically guarantee good behaviours/good upbringing. It takes a lot to make a child become society-friendly. Some fathers are 'just' figures in their homes and nothing more.

Some single mothers are doing real great jobs than some of them dual parents.

[MrsChocT]

If you haven't walked in those shoes, then ought not to knock 'em. A woman get married, has a child and after one year, her husband had a deadly accident. He died, should she now be categorized as a single mother or aptly described as a widow which she is?

We want to cast stones but if care isn't taken, the stones may rise up to hit us. No need for holy than thou attitudes because only God is perfect. While we humans are quick to judge, God is one of second chances. If a young girl makes a mistake, gets pregnant e.g. Bristol Palin, and decides to have the baby. I'd respect her any day over another woman that chooses to have the pregnancy terminated. To take a life for selfish reasons is unconscionable. I'd rather give a baby up for adoption than to terminate a life.

There's really no need for society to label anyone, that in itself is a form of discrimination. I am not saying anything that hasn't been said here. Some women find themselves in shocking situations, some choose to deal with it, have the children and raise them to the best of their ability. Some even go as far as teaching them not to make the same mistakes they made in relationships, marriage or whatever it may have been. Some really have nothing to tell their children because the lives of the significant others were taken abruptly due to a crime or another.

Many have gone on to raise children that are envy of today's society. You probably know a few, Dr. Ben Carson, President Barack H, Obama, should I go on?

And for those who just like popping babies to get a welfare check, well just like time heals all wounds, time also rewards such ignorant decisions with fitting endings.

Bottom line, if you have children, take of them the best you can! Anything less in an injustice to the children.

[Ph3y]

Some become single mothers due to marriages filled with violence. I'd advice a woman to carry her kids and run away rather than stay in an abusive marriage.

@ Oluwato:

I have always disagreed with the sperm donor/sperm bank thing, which is legalized fornication in my own opinion.

Fornication how? There's no sexual contact between the parties concerned o? What if a couple have remained childless for many years and this remains the only solution for them?..............

[shinycoin]

Originally Posted by Feyi

Some become single mothers due to marriages filled with violence. I'd advice a woman to carry her kids and run away rather than stay in an abusive marriage.

@ Oluwato:

Fornication how? There's no sexual contact between the parties concerned o? What if a couple have remained childless for many years and this remains the only solution for them?..............

Like stem cell research, sperm bank is one of the numerous wonders of science and should be actively and vigorously pursued and encouraged.


A couple shouldn't be denied the joys and pleasures of parenthood because of some biological/physiological ailments, thus making it impossible to conceive and bear ofsprings the normal way.

Sperm bank is very moral and has brought joy to the heart of countless couples because of its success and negative side effects.

Lets not always throw the baby away with the bath water. most times science and religion and be compartible and this should be one of those times.

[Oluwato]

Originally Posted by Feyi

Some become single mothers due to marriages filled with violence. I'd advice a woman to carry her kids and run away rather than stay in an abusive marriage.

@ Oluwato:

Fornication how? There's no sexual contact between the parties concerned o?

Fornication because humans are trying to "outsmart" nature, thereby creating more chaos. Sex and it's "byproducts" are to be enjoyed only with marriage. Tipping the scale in an "out-of-godly-marriage" direction is sin! Yes there was no sexual contact but there was "by-product of sex" contact.

Originally Posted by Feyi

What if a couple have remained childless for many years and this remains the only solution for them?

This is not and will never be a solution. Sarah tried the "untechnologized" form with Hagar and she regretted it. Childless couples should either walk in faith and spiritual authority in Christ Jesus as Terry and Jackie Mize did (www.terrymizeministries.org) or adopt children.

[GamineGirlie]

I particularly dislike the smug way married/single people like to ride over the other.

[Ph3y]

Originally Posted by Oluwato

Fornication because humans are trying to "outsmart" nature, thereby creating more chaos. Sex and it's "byproducts" are to be enjoyed only with marriage. Tipping the scale in an "out-of-godly-marriage" direction is sin! Yes there was no sexual contact but there was "by-product of sex" contact.

Many times I wonder why God gave us brains....If we were not supposed to use it!!! I appreciate science and research....As long as it is used for the common good. Medicine has gone a long way [both positive and negative] but i will only always appreciate the positive contributions of modern medicine.
Tumour removal, artificial limbs creation, corrective surgery etc are ways in which medicine has given hope to many...IMHO, Artificial insemination is in the same class as the above....

This is not and will never be a solution. Sarah tried the "untechnologized" form with Hagar and she regretted it. Childless couples should either walk in faith and spiritual authority in Christ Jesus as Terry and Jackie Mize did (www.terrymizeministries.org) or adopt children.

Sarah GAVE her maid to Abraham........Abraham had SEX with Hagar and they had a child together. In this case the couple may not neccesarily know the donor......There is NO form of contact whatsoever...Me thinks the fertilisation is not even done through the sex pathway.I heard the eggs are implanted through injections..........

Okay at times the husband's own sperm is used for his wife....is that one too sin? What of the Blood bank where can we place it in all these?

[lateesha]

70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)
85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992)

These statistics translate to mean that children from a fatherless home are:

5 times more likely to commit suicide.
32 times more likely to run away.
20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders.
14 times more likely to commit rape
9 times more likely to drop out of high school.
10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances.
9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution.
20 times more likely to end up in prison.

I don't think anyone is saying bring out single mothers and stone them to death.
By the way my definition of a single mother is that women who goes out to have babies outside of marriage
[/B]One mistake is pardonable but going out and having baby after baby without the commitment of marriage is totally irresponsible despite the permissiveness of today's society.
We ought to call a spade a spade!.
My point is that statistics don't lie.
These are the kids that make up 70% of our juvenile system and I bet the figures haven't even been adjusted for actual ratios.
A daughter of a single mother is 164 times more likely become a single mother.
Should we be condoning that type of behaviour?
The odds are against those kids.
If a woman becomes single due to death or divorce,at least she sought to do the right thing and it didn't work out but the other end of the spectrum are those I have an issue with and I bet you if narrowed down,the statistics above is referring to them for the most part.
Everybody ought to condemn that sort of behaviour because not only are you and I paying for those kids and that behaviour,we also are at risk from them as the figures tell us.

Stale news.

The thing wey dey make me laff for this thread be say...most of us have daughters with breasts and nyansh bigger than ours in this America for example. Single parenthood is a reality with the younger generation of today. How many of them are thinking of marriage with a divorce rate of 50% or more? Not my prayer.....but errrrrrrr we know what the possibilities are. We were all teenagers and so on once. This is not Nigeria.

What is the solution? What is the point complaining about something you have "absolutely' no control over?

Just like this trouble maker called Ann Coulter or whatever she calls herself is writing some 'gripe' session here in her article. What exactly does she want us to do with this situation rather than tell us what we already know.

What is the solution I ask?

We have people like "OctuMomma" with 14 children under 8 years old and we are here 'bitching' about something we have no control over?


Case study.
*Single Octumomma of 14 children gets her own half a million dollar home in a RECESSION period.

*Gets help from volunteer groups to assist with the whopping 64 feedings needed daily for her 8 healthy premature infants, when they come home.

*Gets help from Dr. Phil and Attorney Gloria Allred to organize supplies with brand new nursery items/round the clock nursing care and new clothes for Octumomma.

*Total cost of taking care of just the 8 infants alone, excluding the other 6 is: Check this out:

$135,000 monthly.

http://perezhilton.com/2009-03-09-oc...-her-own-house

Looks like Octo-mom, Nadya Suleman, who's been described by her former publicist as being nuts, will finally have a house big enough for her kids.

Well, bigger than the current place she's living at, her mom's house - that is soon going into foreclosure.

According to reports, Nadya's dad has just purchased a 2,583 square-foot house near where Octopussy's mom currently lives.

The house only has four bedrooms, three bathrooms and includes a large backyard. It's a decent-sized house, square-foot wise, but how do you fit 14 kids and 1 adult into a 4 bedroom house?

As for the selling price, the home was listed for $564,900 by Prudential Realty and will reportedly be owned by Octo-Grandpa this Friday. Octopussy is said to be moving in sometime this weekend or early next week.

A source adds that a "substantial down payment" came from the money Nadya has made over the past few weeks whoring herself out to the media. Adding that, "the money has been coming from all over the place."

Hopefully she can pay the house off in full soon and still afford to feed her children.

Oh, wait. Bitch doesn't work!

How can she afford anything?!?!

Na una own una just dey talk for hia. I love America. Eat your heart out. Make una siddon hia dey quote figures and scriptures. Here are 14 more babies from a single momma you gatz to worry about.....and more coming. Most of us are here in the US struggling to hang on to our life savings with AIG and co.

Gosh! I really envy this Octumomma.

What is the solution I ask? Is it to complain and quote figures/scriptures we don't already know about? Tell all these to the 10th graders who have already perfected the skills of giving BJs behind school buses or in school bathrooms.

I knooooooooooow.
LET US ALL MARCH TO OCTUMOMMA'S HOUSE AND KILL HER AND HER ENTIRE FAMILY FOR BRINGING 14 KIDS INTO THE WORLD WITHOUT A HUSBAND. Just to protest our displeasure for single parenthood from sperm banks and IVF from single mothers around the world.


Like everyone wants this so-called 'marriage' of a thing? Lord knows if I did not do it earlier...NOTHING IN THIS WORLD GO MAKE ME TRY AM...... Thank God...his will not mine. Love you honey...but na waste of time seriously. Too bad I nor fit comot....too many financial benefits accrued over the years. I have to pension with good benefits.

[Rose]

Originally Posted by GamineGirlie

I particularly dislike the smug way married/single people like to ride over the other.

In what way? I see pros and cons in both situations.

[Obugi]

People will always do things depending on 3 factors:

1. Their physical endowments (beauty, intelligence, physical strength)

2. Their environment (political, social, locations)

3. Economic factors.

Human beings always act such a way as to selfishly extract maximum benefit after taking stock of the above factors.

Understand this and you understand everything about human actions.

Just "Get Yours", do whatever you want, no matter who is hurt or who criticizes you as long as you can pay the price for what you want or get away with whatever you decide to do.

The sooner people start thinking rationally and realize its a Darwinian world, the better.


Obugi.

http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htmDivorce rates among Christian groups:

The slogan: "The family that prays together, stays together" is well known. There has been much anecdotal evidence that has led to "unsubstantiated claims that the divorce rate for Christians who attended church regularly, pray together or who meet other conditions is only 1 or 2 percent". 8 Emphasis ours]. Dr. Tom Ellis, chairman of the Southern Baptist Convention's Council on the Family said that for "...born-again Christian couples who marry...in the church after having received premarital counseling...and attend church regularly and pray daily together..." experience only 1 divorce out of nearly 39,000 marriages -- or 0.00256 percent. 9

A recent study by the Barna Research Group throws extreme doubt on these estimates. Barna released the results of their poll about divorce on 1999-DEC-21. 1 They had interviewed 3,854 adults from the 48 contiguous states. The margin of error is ±2 percentage points. The survey found:

11% of the adult population is currently divorced.
25% of adults have had at least one divorce during their lifetime.


Divorce rates among conservative Christians were significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience.

"While it may be alarming to discover that born again Christians are more likely than others to experience a divorce, that pattern has been in place for quite some time.

Hear ye...Hear ye!!!! It is not rocket science. Some things no need scriptures and statistics. Hmm!


he he he he he he he I knew I picked the right religion. I for don divorce since.If you go into marriage just to "shag"....after you have been shagged....you will definitely be 'cut' loose. Bible no be efry thing I say. Some things na just common sense.

Abeg na wetin una dey preach for hia oooooooooooooh?

Is it not better to start off being a single parent je je, than eventually end up as one after all the wahala? Wonders!

See am? With all the born-again and preaching jazz...and the staunch beliefs against divorce....na una divorce pass even pagans like us. Is it not better to be a single parent from the get to I ask?

Thank God women are getting smarter.

[busanga]

Annn coulter? seriously?

What happened to her womb ..sorry, her neck?

[lateesha]

Originally Posted by Dewdrops

http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htmDivorce rates among Christian groups:



Hear ye...Hear ye!!!! It is not rocket science. Some things no need scriptures and statistics. Hmm!


he he he he he he he I knew I picked the right religion. I for don divorce since.If you go into marriage just to "shag"....after you have been shagged....you will definitely be 'cut' loose. Bible no be efry thing I say. Some things na just common sense.

Abeg na wetin una dey preach for hia oooooooooooooh?

Is it not better to start off being a single parent je je, than eventually end up as one after all the wahala? Wonders!

See am? With all the born-again and preaching jazz...and the staunch beliefs against divorce....na una divorce pass even pagans like us. Is it not better to be a single parent from the get to I ask?

Thank God women are getting smarter.

Is this about divorce or planned singleparenthood?



By the way the figures are


Religion % have been divorced

Jews 30%

Born-again Christians 27%

Other Christians 24%

Atheists, Agnostics 21%


Better to be divorced than stay in a rotten marriage.

Even you wey say u you go stay with your man even if he shags around will still answer married?

[nero africanus]

single parent hood is a monstrosity created by the welfare state,
the welfare state has created a situation where the state has taken the traditional roles of the father in society , what it has not been able to do is to provide for the psychological needs of woman and the children , what it has not been able to do is to provide a role model for the children particularly the males , which is why , the most dysfunctional in the single parent unit is the male child.

traditionally no woman can raise a child(ren) alone without the welfare state or extended family support networks. but the welfare state in trying to solve a particular set of problems has thrown up another set of problems. it is therefore not a coincidence that the sexual revolution in the west coincided with the birth of the wefare state

the most pathetic form of the welfare state as can be seen in the united kingdom is where benefits are structured in such a form that for low income couples the women is better off financially if she kicks out the father and allows the state to provide , the state does this better than low income couples could together

the other is despair, at 14 /15 in inner cities , girls from single parent backgrounds with no education potential see getting pregnant as the easy way out , these females lack role models and most of the time made a conscious decision to become pregnant for it is gives access to own home , an excuse not to work , and more money than a young person on benefits could have gotten

but on the other hand , if not for the single parent the population of the west would have plummetted at such an alarming rate as to give cause for concern, this can be seen in the case of the scandinavian countries where the population is actually dropping, or in the case of western europe where the population is stabilised due to massive immigration and increased multiplication by child bearing in the ethnic minority populations.


it is certainly lame to make excuses like a woman should have a child whether or not she is married , this is certainly and extremely selfish , and this attitude has lead to too many social problems for it is not a coincidence at the majority of law breakers/criminals come from single parent backgrounds.

it must also be recognised that without the welfare state , there would certainly not be any rash of single parenthood , the women simply cant afford that choice , this was seen in the case of russia and the the east european countries where the original welfare states arose from , with the collapse of the soviet union not only did single parenthood disappear,birth rates dropped in russia below replacement rates.

single parenthood should be seen for what it is , an attempt to extract from the system which is now metamorphosing into culture.

human conditioning requires that a male child have a male role model to copy, in almost every respect and same applies to the female

the breakdown of the family unit , will eventually bring about the downfall of the west.

a reverse of this can be seen in african socieites where family planning is forced on the poor without any structured plan to take care of them in their old age, for the poor in any non welfare society , children are the pension, ensures the parents do not face starvation and penury , this is the reason why there is a correlation between the number of children the poor have and how poor they are.

the educated who are entitled to gratuities , pensions and are able to train their children to benefit from the commanding heights of the economy do not necessarily need to have a lot of children.

it is really important to look beyond the phenomena itself to ask the question why is it happening?

[liloldlady]

Originally Posted by nero africanus

single parent hood is a monstrosity created by the welfare state,
the welfare state has created a situation where the state has taken the traditional roles of the father in society , what it has not been able to do is to provide for the psychological needs of woman and the children , what it has not been able to do is to provide a role model for the children particularly the males , which is why , the most dysfunctional in the single parent unit is the male child

MMmm Interesting...I know for a fact that we do not have a welfare state in Nigeria, and a host of other third world countries, therefore its not tenable, to use the arguement that the welfare state has usurped the roles of fathers in the household, as a model, for why there is a prevalence of that particular type of family structure in todays society as opposed to what obtained 20,30yrs ago.

traditionally no woman can raise a child(ren) alone without the welfare state or extended family support networks. but the welfare state in trying to solve a particular set of problems has thrown up another set of problems. it is therefore not a coincidence that the sexual revolution in the west coincided with the birth of the wefare state

In the past women had less Options and opportunities. It was rare for a woman to have a role outside the home, and most women had no independent income, and relied solely on husbands for survival.
with society evolving, Women got better education, acquired skills that were marketable, and began to earn incomes outside the home, by being gainfully employed. This opened up better opportunities for them to assume roles, that they hitherto did not have.
We still had widows in society and some thrived whilst some struggled.
There is nothing inherently lacking in women that prevents them from raising kids alone, if they have their resources in place, especially monetary ones.
Not all widows remarried and not all had the support of the extended family. some were still able to pull their weight, and raise well adjusted and productive members of society, inspite of not having a man to share the burden with.

the most pathetic form of the welfare state as can be seen in the united kingdom is where benefits are structured in such a form that for low income couples the women is better off financially if she kicks out the father and allows the state to provide , the state does this better than low income couples could together

The benefits system was not supposed to or designed to be a substitute for income, derived from earnings.
Your spin on the benefits issue is curious.....What happens is that most of these transient lovers move in with these women, in homes provided by the state, whose upkeep is paid for by the state, when in fact, these men rather than work, would rather doss around all day, drinking larger, and watching day time soap. Why should his sex life be subsidised by the state, if he would not go out there, and work, and provide for the woman and kids.
How many couples have you heard of who divorced each other, because they were better off claiming state benefit as single persons.
The benefit system is structured so, because the state realises that a single parent has fewer options than when there is a man in the house who can do more. Remember if he is disabled, or Infirm.. the state also factors that in, and provides extra accordingly.
So the men who end up relying on state benefits most times, as a means to support their families, are those who should be out there working anyway.

the other is despair, at 14 /15 in inner cities , girls from single parent backgrounds with no education potential see getting pregnant as the easy way out , these females lack role models and most of the time made a conscious decision to become pregnant for it is gives access to own home , an excuse not to work , and more money than a young person on benefits could have gotten

Have you stopped to condsider that their reason for such low aim, and ambition, could be that the men who obviously fathered them, and are now fathering their offspring, are failing to provide them with leadership. These men choose not to hang around and raise their offspring...who do you blame? the girls who are doing what is noble, and not dumping the kids in a public dumpster somewhere, or the men who roll from one warm bed to the next, and never pause, to consider the extent of the dysfunction, they leave in their wake.

it must also be recognised that without the welfare state , there would certainly not be any rash of single parenthood , the women simply cant afford that choice , this was seen in the case of russia and the the east european countries where the original welfare states arose from , with the collapse of the soviet union not only did single parenthood disappear,birth rates dropped in russia below replacement rates.

So why do we have single parents in Nigeria, Ghana, Vietnam, China, Brasil, and a host of third world countries without any saftey nets/welfare state.
Take Nigeria as an example...you know we have single parents in Nigeria.
is it not remiss to overlook the lack of leadership by the men as a reason, instead of blaming a non existent welfare state in the case of Nigeria.

single parenthood should be seen for what it is , an attempt to extract from the system which is now metamorphosing into culture.

Once again I bring up Nigeria ...what system? What social saftey net is in place in Nigeria, That you can say a Nigerian single mother wants to exploit?

human conditioning requires that a male child have a male role model to copy, in almost every respect and same applies to the female

the breakdown of the family unit , will eventually bring about the downfall of the west.

Well !!! I would say, don't hold your breath. Whose society is in better shape as we speak? The best indicator of the future, is the past....how well are these utopian 'non-western' society faring, when you compare, life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness, to what obtains in 'western society' (I have prefered to use the term western society as a homogenous/monolithic entity for the purposes of this post hence use of the singular noun 'western society')

a reverse of this can be seen in african socieites where family planning is forced on the poor without any structured plan to take care of them in their old age, for the poor in any non welfare society , children are the pension, ensures the parents do not face starvation and penury , this is the reason why there is a correlation between the number of children the poor have and how poor they are.

the educated who are entitled to gratuities , pensions and are able to train their children to benefit from the commanding heights of the economy do not necessarily need to have a lot of children.

it is really important to look beyond the phenomena itself to ask the question why is it happening?

How does "Children as a pension plan" explain single parenting or lack of same in economies without a welfare state then?

I thought you were trying to explain the aetiology of single motherhood, And how the welfare state in the west has exacerbated the phenomenon, and not the various reasons people have for having large families.

Originally Posted by lateesha

Is this about divorce or planned single parenthood?

Good Morning America.....Glad to be alive and well. What's on your mind this morning?

Lateeeeeeeeee,

Your opinion and I respect it.

My Opinion.
We have been through all these on other websites and you know where I am coming from. To answer your questions:

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH PLANNED SINGLE PARENTHOOD. Not everyone wants to get married. Simple. Good for you fine. Not good for others, fine too. Right to choose...not a crime.


Yes, it is about divorce too on this thread. Why? Because you have people here with different faiths and beliefs ON THIS THREAD trying to 'stigmatize' single parenthood. The reason I used the Christian example is to show that if you have a religion or sets of beliefs the show/s that divorces are real, then it does not make sense to use those sets of rules to 'stigmatize' single parenthood. It is better in my opinion to be a single mother who knows she will not be successful in a marriage.....than jump into marriage for the whatever reason......only to come out divorced and still become the single parent she never wanted to be in the first place.

There is no difference in the outcomes of HOW CHILDREN MIGHT TURN OUT IN THE DIFFERENT CASES between a widow, baby momma or a divorcee who ARE all single parents, if they have no HELPFUL significant others in their lives. SOME MARRIED COUPLES EVEN LIVE WORSE LIVES/IN WORSE CONDITIONS THAN SINGLE PARENTS....neither parent is ever home most of the time and the children practically raise themselves.....but we gladly call them marriages right? Like you rightly observed 'rotten' marriages.

My Question.

Why the hatred and stigmatization of "single parenthood" from 'baby mommas" selectively? Yes, the unfit single mother(widow, baby momma, divorcee) should be the focus of society and their children need help. Then again....some children are just baaaaaaaad ar$$ed kids....nothing you can do....totally out of your control.....extremely troubled.....nothing to do with parenting at all.....but the influences they are predisposed to....and love to affiliate with.



We have all given labels to the term 'single' parenthood like Ann Coulter to put forth out our points. In my opinion, Ann Coulter's article is an insult to women all over the world who choose NOT to get married and want to have children. With the 50% divorce rate in the US especially(and with the religions who divorce the most WHILE PREACHING against divorce).....why would any sane woman or man want to get married? Ann Coulter and like minds on this thread stigmatize women who choose to determine their own 'paths' of success and happiness in domestic issues, just because it does not suit her/their own 'beliefs' and 'preferences'.


Fine, children do not ask to be born...and maybe if we asked them in utero.....knowing the kinds of parents they would already have.....they would tell us if they wanted to be raised in a single healthy environment or a dysfunctional marital setting. Or they would flatly tell us the world sucked and they did not want to be born at all. But as the unborn children cannot tell us what they want....all we can do is bring them into the world if we choose to and let us deal with it the best way we can. We predetermine their entrances into this world.

Originally Posted by lateesha

By the way the figures are


Religion % have been divorced

Jews 30%

Born-again Christians 27%

Other Christians 24%

Atheists, Agnostics 21%

Fine with me. I don't have a problem with the figures as such....I believe in divorce if it is the best option for 'dysfunctional' couples where children are endangered especially in domestically violent environments. My point....we should not try to tell others what they should do with their 'domestic' issues if the do not believe in the marriage institution that proves to be a FAILURE world wide in the 21st century. That would be hypocritical. Why encourage people to go into a 'system' that has proven not to work 50% of the time. MUST CHILDREN COME ONLY FROM MARRIAGES? Children from polygamous homes are marriages are never an issue right...with many single woman pretending to be married too?

Originally Posted by lateesha

Better to be divorced than stay in a rotten marriage.

Not trying to make this a divorce thread as such...but to prove the point that no one should try to determine what women should do in their lives if they can be fit parents out of wedlock. Yes, I would be the first to get out of a 'rotten' marriage. Just too over-rated with the rate of divorces in the world these days.

I don't encourage cheating in any way shape or form. How anyone chooses to handle his or her marriage is his or her own business.

Especially with religions who profess to have 'strict' codes of conduct they cannot abide by themselves, it is laughable to portray to the world why people should get married when most cannot stay in one. Then to add insult to injury, some would want to stigmatize 'single' parenthood by excusing themselves because you are divorced or widowed. and should not be called a single parent. Ha! Tell that to the marines....it will not wash!

Originally Posted by lateesha

Even you wey say u you go stay with your man even if he shags around will still answer married?

Of course I would still answer married. Are pedophiles, polygamists, murderers and serial killers still not considered "married" in the eyes of the world? The hypocrisy of the ever failing institution of marriage. So why not one with infidelity. Marriage is marriage.....till you get divorced. Abi no be so? The quality of the marriage may be questionable, but it is any woman's right to decide if she wants to stay or leave that 'rotten marriage'. The certificate in the court houses and churches show the proof of marriage. THAT IS THE POINT HERE....A WOMAN'S CHOICE. We all have our standards. I am comfortable with mine....just bored with the whole hype of marriage as an institution symbolic of hypocrisy

Conclusion.
This topic is about a woman's right to be a single parent, if she does not want to get married and THAT SHOULD BE RESPECTED. Not everyone wants to get married in 2009. It is a joke for someone like Ann Coulter, to tell the world that only out of wedlock mothers should be stigmatized as single parents. When in fact there is absolutely no difference between a the widow, divorcee or baby momma. THEY ARE ALL SINGLE PARENTS period.

The focus.

It is a woman's right to decide if she wants to have a child out of wedlock or not.....instead of going into the marriage only to jump out divorced. Personally, it is better to be a single parent from the get go than to become one after deceiving yourself that 'marriage' is the best thing for you to achieve your 'righteous' goals. Well, good for those who think that. But you can't speak for other woman who DO NOT WANT TO GET MARRIED.....or has enough common sense to realize from the beginning that the whole marriage thing is a joke to her. I have the utmost respect for such women who choose not to be in one set of statistics or the other. Frankly not their culture or religion. They have the right to choose...you have chosen.

[liloldlady]

Good Moring Dew...it is a pleasure as usual to see you. how are you?

Originally Posted by liloldlady

Good Moring Dew...it is a pleasure as usual to see you. how are you?

I am doing great. Never felt better. I see you are as wonderful as ever? Good to see you too.