Single mothers.. villains or victims?

[lateesha]

This girl the way you hijack threads eh
all hail single motherhood
let's throw in the tawell (as my grandpa used to say)

How can anyone hijack a thread? If people choose not to participate.....not my business at all. How many threads do I participate in? All the people hijacking threads all over Town Hall......are they being disturbed?

My job is to provide facts and figures to educate the 'masses'......not to exchange opinions based on lack of research.....or irrelevant personal sentiments.

Free participation....if the 'powers that be choose' to re-disjack...that is their own business too. I have satisfied my 'appetite'....the main interest here in this village..."FAMILY/DOMESTIC MATTERS". At least I can think with those and apply them to my own life.

[liloldlady]

@Dew...Thank you for the research you have done about this issue.
It is so informative, some of the things I read from your post, has actually given me a new perspective about family dynamics, and its role in parenting.

I have really enjoyed the posts. Lots to take in and digest, especially with regard to how to have the best possible outcome for the Children.

One of My favourite younger cousins, Married one Asaba man, that beat her badly in Jan this year, and she is divorcing him.
(LUCKILY for him, I do not live in Nigeria, she would not have needed to divorce him)
To think with PhD and having lived in America for almost 10yrs, You would think he would know better, yet raised his hand to her.
Since she will more than likely do the bulk of the parenting, I Thank you for the issues and pointers that the post has educated me on.

Dear lilo...,
Thank you jare. I thoroughly enjoyed them myself. Because with the children of today....no need to fill their heads with unrealistic expectations and untruths....especially with baseless indoctrination. When it comes to this domestic issue of a thing...education is the key. Not to sit down and be deceiving ourselves what the true problems are. It helps me in my own life especially living in a different society from which I grew up.

I hope you did not plan to 'gun' down this dude? It is the woman's place to get herself out of that mess. Domestic violence has nothing to do with how educated you are....it is learned behavior handed down from generation to generation....till one decides not to be part of it, thereby breaking the curse......so the unborn generation do not pick up the nasty habits.

I hope this your "Asaba" cousin is not the same one in 'Noooo Jazzzy"(New Jersey) over here that we have been judging their case with for over 10 years?

This Asaba couple(Asaba man and Asaba women) have more than 30 domestic violence reports with NJPD(New Jersey Police Department) All public records. They have 3 children....their respective families back home in Nigeria are on 'war without end paths' because this man has beaten the "shegey" out of this girl for years. He has been previously married to an AA lady...divorced with one daughter...paying child support then went to Nigeria(as usual) to marry this girl who was like 15-20 years younger. The lady had not finished her studies in a university in Nigeria then....was in her early 20s.....saw this "American-Asaba man" who had been dyeing his hair.......and jumped into his arms. Poverty...her parents encouraged her and told her he "was from a good ogbe"(clan). He showered them with a lot of gifts and money......with heavy marriage too...by their standards.

We visited this couple once....and the man had never met me till that day.......but all through the visit, he yelled at his wife and his little kids(they were like 2 and 4 then.....the last one was not born yet). This was in front of guests......he was frustrated...never relaxed.....just bitter and looked really mean. He never smiled or laughed through out the visit with some 12 or more people in attendance. I had never met him before till that point. I knew after I left that house that that marriage was an unhealthy one. I spoke to this lady several times to check up on her and she would call too, to judge this and that.....and finally I gave up....because I really do not like to meddle in 'domestic matters' between married couples especially.

The latest.....The police was in their house this past weekend after the man beat this woman to bleeding face and all....and removed ALL her children from the house to DFACS custody. She refused to press charges.....the man was removed from the home. She cannot pay mortage...she cannot even pay half of the bills in the house. The first and second of the children are boys.....one was suspended for bringing a knife to school. The other fights constantly......has been relocated to an 'alternate' school for troubled children. The girl is 5 years old and still wets the bed. This lady is like 33 years old and the man is his 50. She has not finished school.....but at least got her LVN to get working....but could not complete her Bachelors in Nursing due to all kinds of domestic wahala. She claims she has to wear jeans to bed with a side zipper but the man comes in with a pair of scissors and threatens to beat her.....if she does not sleep with him. She even claims to have been raped on some occasions.

All we can do is watch them.....the man is frustrated...the woman is miserable.....but they are married. Tell me what kind of outcome these children would have with this kind of 'marriage' set up....then now in forster care? To divorce...wahala....she can't afford it....to stay married wahala....she is on high blood pressure medicines at her age.

I am happy women are getting smarter. Instead of going through all this rubbish, is it not better to have you child je je and mind your business? Instead of going into a marriage full of violence and abuse? The saddest part is that most women have seen this side of their men and vice versa....but still choose to get married.

If you are single with children the only thing you have to lose is being a failure as a parent.(1 strike)

But,

If you are in a dysfunctional marriage and end up divorced with all kinds of baggage.....you are a failure as a wife/husband and a parent.(2 strikes)

I ask again...is it not better to be single from the beginning when you know that the outcome of that marriage is doomed from the very onset? Most women/men know.....but would rather rush in and repeat the same cycle of rubbish.......then end up worse than baby mommas themselves. Then the children have to carry all that baggage in their lives and repeat the cycle all over again. I don't understand it.

[lateesha]

Originally Posted by Dewdrops

Dear lilo...,
Thank you jare. I thoroughly enjoyed them myself. Because with the children of today....no need to fill their heads with unrealistic expectations and untruths. When it comes to this domestic issue of a thing...education is the key. Not to sit down and be deceiving ourselves what the true problems are.

I hope you did not plan to 'gun' down this dude? It is the woman's place to get herself out of that mess. Domestic violence has nothing to do with how educated you are....it is learned behavior handed down from generation to generation....till one decides not to be part of it, thereby breaking the curse.

I hope this your "Asaba" cousin is not the same one in 'Noooo Jazzzy"(New Jersey) over here that we have been judging their case with for over 10 years?

This Asaba couple(Asaba man and Asaba women) have more than 30 domestic violence reports with NJPD(New Jersey Police Department) All public records. They have 3 children....their respective families back home in Nigerian are on a 'war path' because this man has beaten the "shegey" out of this girl for years. He has been previously married to an AA lady...divorced and went to Nigeria to marry this girl he is like 15 years older than or more. The lady had not finished her studies in Nigeria....was in her early 20s.....saw this "American-Asaba man" who had been dyeing his hair.......and jumped into his arms.

We visited this couple once....and the man had never met me till that day.......but all through the visit, he yelled at his wife and his little kids(they were like 2 and 4 then.....the last one was not born yet). This was in front of guests......he was frustrated...never relaxed.....just bitter and looked really mean. I had never met him before. I spoke to this lady several times as she would call to judge this and that.....and finally I gave up....because I really do not like to meddle in 'domestic matters' between married couples especially.
The latest.....The police was in their house this past weekend after the man beat this woman to bleeding face and all....and removed ALL her children from the house to DFACS custody. She refused to press charges.....the man was removed from the home. The first and second of the children are boys.....one was suspended for bringing a knife to school. The other fights constantly. The girl is 5 years old and still wets the bed. This lady is like 33 years old and the man is his 50. She has not finished school.....but at least got her LVN to get working....but could not complete her Bachelors in Nursing due to all kinds of domestic wahala. She claims she has to wear jeans to bed with a side zipper but the man comes in with a pair of scissors and threatens to beat her.....if she does not sleep with him. She even claims to have been raped on some occasions.

All we can do is watch them.....the man is frustrated...the woman is miserable.....but they are married. Tell me what kind of outcome these children would have with this kind of 'marriage' set up....then now in forster care?

Does she want to end up like Mrs Iheme of last year?
when does she finally carry her LVN certificate and leave?
I don't call it meddling.
someone needs to advise this woman to leave.
Some people need that extra push
You don't want to be riddled with guilt while reading her obituary.
Have you noticed that many of these marriages are women married to men older than them by many years.
That's always the main isuue.
The age gap is as wide as the rio grande
There was this girl on the other forum that I corresponded with for a short while.
An Igbo girl that married this Edo man (former neighbor of theirs) that was very helpful to the family financially.He paid her school fees and visited often helping her family and in compensation,she was coerced into marrying this 55 year old rich man living in London by her longerthroat parents when she was 19.
she was 21 while we corresponded.
I was moved to tears by her story.
Thankfully no physical abuse but the girl is miserable and cries day and night,stuck with a man she feels nothing for despite all the wealth.

Lateesha she cannot...she cannot pay for a divorce attorney. To relocate herself and her 3 kids......she just cannot do it by herself without some family help. Her sister lives in another state. It is a big mess. Hopefully, she does not end up dead.

To make matters worse....she has credit card bills up to the "wazoo".

Thankfully no physical abuse but the girl is miserable and cries day and night,stuck with a man she feels nothing for despite all the wealth.

Gbam! Most of these women are stuck. What kind of marriage is this? Bondage marriage.....with children suffering badly.

[lateesha]

Originally Posted by Dewdrops

Lateesha she cannot...she cannot pay for a divorce attorney. To relocate herself and her 3 kids......she just cannot do it by herself without some family help. Her sister lives in another state. It is a big mess. Hopefully, she does not end up dead.

To make matters worse....she has credit card bills up to the "wazoo".



Gbam! Most of these women are stuck. What kind of marriage is this? Bondage marriage.....with children suffering badly.

she doesn't have to be divorced to leave if the man is that abusive.
I know it's not easy
If it were she would have been gone.
This is so sad what women go through in the name of marriage.
and with 3 kids?
poor girl is probably scared to be alone coupled with the stigma on divorced Nigerian women.
Remember the male villagers that blamed Mrs Iheme for her own death.
This is a woman that had left o
and the stupid man still hunted ger down and shot her to death.
Women have to be careful in picking these losers from the get go since the risk in leaving them could be higher than staying as we have seen.

Originally Posted by lateesha

she doesn't have to be divorced to leave if the man is that abusive.
I know it's not easy
If it were she would have been gone.
This is so sad what women go through in the name of marriage.
and with 3 kids?
poor girl is probably scared to be alone coupled with the stigma on divorced Nigerian women.
Remember the male villagers that blamed Mrs Iheme for her own death.
This is a woman that had left o
and the stupid man still hunted ger down and shot her to death.
Women have to be careful in picking these losers from the get go since the risk in leaving them could be higher than staying as we have seen.

This is the cycle.....you get stuck. She failed to plan her getaway exit......she failed to save.....she failed to think about her future.....failed to finish her studies. Most importantly...she married a man who does not care and she was too careless to ACCEPT that from the beginning. Before they started having kids......they were forced to separate for 6 months and she took shelter at a family friends when she found out the man was somewhat anti-social. But with mediation and a lot of family intervention...she went back to him. Now, she can't get out.

She has no resources.....no where to go....no help.

Being a Nigerian lady too....she is sooooooooo embarassed by it all.

[liloldlady]

Dew to answer your question...No, My cousin is from Imo State and Lives in Nigeria. She is not one half of the NJ couple.

These stories are so sad.

I believe that If we as women, could stop judging women who flee domestic violence, so harshly, and show some empathy, maybe they will have the courage to leave.
We are our own harshest critic. Some women believe that any woman who leaves a marriage, should only be regarded with scorn...which is very sad to say the least.
My brother's wife, opened her mouth to say..."So now she has joined the ranks of Single mothers."
I just looked at her as an ignoramus. Luckily for her, her husband is a good person, that is why she can sit in the comfort of her living room, and talk smack without walking in her shoes.
I told her, not to judge...nobody knows tomorrow. Apart from Divorce, there is also, death and illness, that can make a once married woman raise children mostly alone....that seemed to shut her up.

Most times you hear women who should know better, cast aspersions, as if to stay and be beaten to death is part of the marital deal.
I have said it till I am blue in the face....
A BAD MARRIAGE IS WORSE THAN NONE.

But a lot of women somehow believe, that they will lose way too much status, to risk leaving a man, bent on destroying their lives.

Thanks lilo.

Only in the backward civilizations would one chastise a man or woman for fleeing domestic violence. The reason I believe in divorce totally. No one should raise kids in a domestically violent environment.

Yes....women are their own worst critics. They would encourage you to sit in a marriage full of violence because they are willing to put up with it too.

Why I don't pity most women in such situations is that.....THEY KNEW....from the beginning what the deal was.

You are with a man or woman who yells at you....kicks or shoves you around when you are dating. Then out of some desperation or religious code....you sit there and hope things would 'improve'. Anywise woman would buy time....plan an escape route...save some money...then split.

Like this lady I am talking about......I told her many times...she needs to get her education and finish her Nursing degree.....she needs to stop spending money from credit cards she cannot afford. She needs to spend more time on herself and her kids....she needs to plan a 'getaway' scheme. She refused.

A BAD MARRIAGE IS WORSE THAN NONE.

But a lot of women somehow believe, that they will lose way too much status, to risk leaving a man, bent on destroying their lives.

Amen to that!

Frankly....I care only about the kids really. I really don't care about adults(men or women) who choose to mess up their lives. The kids should be the focus here. The men and women could kill themselves for all I care.....they have chosen to a path of destruction....the kids did NOT ask for such, and should not really be exposed to such a thing....it's unfair to scar them for life like that. They would definitely repeat the same cycle. Then it goes on and on....so it does not really matter what kind of family hides the problem. Whether in single or married homes....the illness of domestic violence would always rare it's ugly head.

[lateesha]

Originally Posted by Dewdrops

This is the cycle.....you get stuck. She failed to plan her getaway exit......she failed to save.....she failed to think about her future.....failed to finish her studies. Most importantly...she married a man who does not care and she was too careless to ACCEPT that from the beginning. Before they started having kids......they were forced to separate for 6 months and she took shelter at a family friends when she found out the man was somewhat anti-social. But with mediation and a lot of family intervention...she went back to him. Now, she can't get out.

She has no resources.....no where to go....no help.

Being a Nigerian lady too....she is sooooooooo embarassed by it all.

sad sad sad.
My dear there are many women in those shoes.
Sometimes I wish I could have all young girls in Nigeria hear these stories and run far away from some of these "abroad" husbands.
My kporapkpo (didn't know her back home) was a final year student back home when her "green card" came through and she abandoned her studies at Uniport to "join her husband".
That was over 6 years ago.
The girl has on several ocassions lamented how stupid she was to have done such a thing.
She's now in America and has spent virtually all her time here pregnant or nursing children and running from one nurses aide job to another even while her cervix had dilated 5 cm.
There are bills to pay now.
Can you imagine,just a few months to a bachelors degree after all the school closures, spending almost 5 years + in a 4 yr course and she just couldnt wait to come to America.
I bet she wouldn't even have listened to anyone that advised her to wait.

[lateesha]

Originally Posted by Dewdrops

This is the cycle.....you get stuck. She failed to plan her getaway exit......she failed to save.....she failed to think about her future.....failed to finish her studies. Most importantly...she married a man who does not care and she was too careless to ACCEPT that from the beginning. Before they started having kids......they were forced to separate for 6 months and she took shelter at a family friends when she found out the man was somewhat anti-social. But with mediation and a lot of family intervention...she went back to him. Now, she can't get out.

She has no resources.....no where to go....no help.

Being a Nigerian lady too....she is sooooooooo embarassed by it all.

They separated for 6 months before kids and went on to have 3?
Now where are all those mediators that encouraged her to go back to her husband.
where are they now that she's stuck with 3 kids including one that "packs heat" to school.
where are they now that she's up to her eyeballs in debt with a credt score of 200?
When I hear these stories I thank God honestly.
The most separation we do here is he stays on his side of the bed I stay in mine and I put a pillow in between till tempers cool.
which one is 6 months separation at the beginning of a marriage.
alu!

Originally Posted by lateesha

They separated for 6 months before kids and went on to have 3?
Now where are all those mediators that encouraged her to go back to her husband.
where are they now that she's stuck with 3 kids including one that "packs heat" to school.
where are they now that she's up to her eyeballs in debt with a credt score of 200?
When I hear these stories I thank God honestly.
The most separation we do here is he stays on his side of the bed I stay in mine and I put a pillow in between till tempers cool.
which one is 6 months separation at the beginning of a marriage.
alu!

Me, no long talk...I go just carry my passport and ticket je je go siddon for London with my siblings for like 1 week......before the dude come back from work.....and all the pickins them come back from school. Best case scenario....take a 'travelling assignment' out of state or in a foreign country. Leave note for dining table....saying "call me when you are ready to talk". Find leave-in nanny to hold the forte till I come back. Or just go siddon for Naija for like 3 months enjoying myself.

But on a serious note......not all "bend down pick" marriages are doomed to fail. Many without domestic violence and mutual respect have worked out......and are still working out.

Like I have always stated.....everyone has a choice to make. With the kinds of things I see these days......if I were unmarried at this stage in my life, I will not even think about it.

I know a couple of ladies around me who have just harvested their eggs je je and stored in a clinic somewhere pending when ever ready....for surrogacy or whatever since Mr. Right ain't gonna show. I would have done the same thing. Or get with a guy who will agree to help you fertilize like 10 embryos like "Octumamma"......till I am good and ready. No need for stress at all.

Moving on jare......

What Are The Chances Of OUR Children Becoming Single Parents?

We have already established that many homes in Africa are polygamous......so that means most of us are products and 'by-products' of 'single' family homes. No need for statistics. Let us concentrate on the outside world.


Dear Ann Coulter & Co.

http://living.oneindia.in/relationsh...rent-norm.html

INDIA!!!!

Love And Romance, Marriage & Beyond, Parents & Children.

Salaam Namaste, a popular Hindi flick released late last-year popularised live-in relationships and also glamourised single parenthood! Many single parents are better educated and are able to support themselves so marriage is no longer a financial prerequisite to parenthood. Under enormous work-pressure families are splitting-up and giving rise to single parenthood.

A study indicates that a single parent raises 20 million kids in the US. Though not so marked in India, the phenomenon is no longer raising eyebrows. Even though the society has accepted it, the Government's social policy has not addressed it. According to Deepti Priya Mehrotra, a political scientist who has done her doctorate on the Women's Movement in India, single mother as a category is not recognized in the census data.

Not to worry.....you have accepted it....that is a start. You will soon recognize it in your census..whether you like it or not.

The trend for the future.......Please prepare your kids for the best alternatives. Marriage is ideal......my ultimate first choice......Planned single parenthood is here to stay. Society has accepted it.....even in places like India and China.....


CHINA!!!!

http://www.china.org.cn/english/Life/131632.htm

Getting married is traditionally considered to be the most important event in a person's life - while divorce is regarded as disgraceful.
The facts seem to be no longer bearing the saying out.

And it was women who were more active in divorce proceedings last year - making up 70 percent of cases filed, said an official in charge of marriage and divorce registration yesterday.

Even Chinese women are sick of this marriage of a thing........And these religious people will be trying to deceive people that marriage is for 'EVERYBODY".

http://www.sullivan-county.com/bush/divorce.htm

Very funny piece.

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (AP) -- Baptists have the highest divorce rate of any Christian denomination, and are more likely to get a divorce than atheists and agnostics, according to a national survey.

The survey conducted by Barna Research Group in Ventura, Calif., found that 29 percent of all adult Baptists have been through a divorce. Among Christian groups, only those who attend non-denominational Protestant churches were more likely to be divorced, with a 34 percent divorce rate.


"What brings people to divorce has so many more important factors than theology," said Bart Grooms, pastoral counselor for the Samaritan Counseling Center of Baptist Health System. He said Christians' expectations of marriage may be too high.

"I believe we expect more out of marriage than we used to," he said. "Gender roles have changed an awful lot. A lot of women are not putting up with boorish louts like they were in the past."

Hail to the 'atheists and agnostics'! .....Thank God I am proud to be an "Agnostic"! We look at things realistically....never under the influence of "charms and amulets". Happier lives too.

Christians...abeg make una lower una standards.........so we will have less divorces. Me know say I nor go fit keep am....and I ain't even gonna try. This might help the rate of single parenthood you guys are complaining about. Una standards toooooooooooo high and you sure can't keep them yourselves....so no need for hypocrisy. You are going to breed more single parents. Don't do this....don't do that.....

You damn right a lot of women are not putting up with booooooooorish louts like they were in the past. He he he he he he. I say women are getting smarter. I thought I was the only one sick of this marriage hype.....it looks like women all over the world....even in the Baptist churches are ready for some fun after all. Gosh! What a drag.......so na single parent hood we see so oooooooh. No shaking I say!

[Rose]

It good to see people focusing on this problem. Ms. Reid was raised by a single mother and doesn't fit any of the stereotypes most people cling to. I've seen her and some of the couples in various interview. Kudos to Maryann.

Maryann Reid, 31 and single, dreams of wedding bells. But not just for herself. She wishes they jangled more for her peers in the African-American community, where the marriage rate is 36 percent and 70 percent of children are born out of wedlock.

Statistics like these are what convinced Reid to take matters into her own hands: She has christened Sept. 27 "Marry Your Baby Daddy Day." An act of grass-roots social engineering, her effort to wed unmarried black couples who have children echoes efforts – by government, churches, and social welfare groups – to strengthen the institution of marriage.

The first Marry Your Baby Daddy Day, in 2005, was marked by an all-expenses-paid wedding at the House of the Lord Church in Brooklyn for 10 black couples with children. Ten more walked down the aisle at Manhattan's Riverside Church last September .

For each ceremony, Reid convinced dozens of local businesses to donate goods and services – such as designer dresses, bouquets, wedding cakes – $90,000 worth for the first mass wedding, and $125,000 for the second.

Reid and a volunteer wedding planner chose 10 couples from the New York area, following an interview process that included home visits in which they looked for evidence of a strong family life: orderly homes with personal space for the children, family photos on the wall, warm interactions between family members.

Reid has an unusual set of criteria for choosing her couples: They must have a proven track record of stability (some relationships go back 15 years) and they must already have children and live together. In short, they must have all the attributes of a good marriage, sans vows.

Black Marriage Day 2009: "Our Sacred Vows"

Washington, DC (BlackNews.com) - Wedded Bliss Foundation, Inc., presents the Seventh Annual Black Marriage Day celebration honoring Our Sacred Vows. Wedded Bliss Foundation encourages couples across the country to renew their wedding vows on Sunday, March 22, 2009, with the theme: Getting Married is Good; Staying Married is Better; A Healthy Marriage is Best.

Activists in more than 300 cities around the country will highlight the benefits of married life and offer celebrations to strengthen and promote marriage in the Black community. Organizations will offer youth, singles and couples workshops; receptions and the opportunity to get married at a Black Marriage Day event.


"We're creating a cultural shift in the Black community to reconsider marriage and celebrate the joy that exists in spite of the pain we often experience," Wedded Bliss Foundation Executive Director, Nisa Muhammad, said.
Black Marriage Day has been celebrated annually at locally sponsored events hosted by faith-based and community groups on the fourth Sunday of March since 2003. Marriage activists in more than 200 cities celebrated Black Marriage Day 2008, Mrs. Muhammad added.

"It is a proven fact that Black married men make more money, they are greater accumulators of wealth, live longer and are healthier. Further, successful marriages free women from the burden of parenting and providing at the same time. It provides children with the comfort of both financial and emotional stability and marriage gives children access to the two most important people in their lives on a day to day basis," Mrs. Muhammad said.


Wedded Bliss Foundation is a community- based organization helping teens, singles and couples create healthy relationships and healthy marriages so more children grow up with the benefits of a two parent family.

www.blackmarriageday.com

Wedded Bliss Foundation is a community- based organization helping teens, singles and couples create healthy relationships and healthy marriages so more children grow up with the benefits of a two parent family.

Amen to that! Marraige or no marriage......that is the key! Both parties have to work hard to ensure that the environment children are raised in are healthy for the most part. Runaway daddy syndrome is the greatest problem in most relationships. Women are nurturers.....now they are breadwinners all over the world.

Men have failed to step up to the plate by being nurturers....thereby meeting women half-way for the most part. Most still feel as soon as women have the babies.....their jobs are done and will often disappear from their kids lives as soon as the terms of conditions do not suit them any longer. No! you are not harming the woman, you are harming your kids....men need to become the single parents for a change.

Empowering Single Parents Financially.........Single Mothers Especially.

Grameen America is a non-profit microfinance organization whose mission is to help entrepreneurial individuals, especially women, build credit and defeat poverty.


Grameen America, a sister organization to the Grameen Bank which won the 2006 Nobel Peace Prize, brought the Grameen brand of microfinance to New York City in January 2008. Since then, Grameen America has lent out over $1.2 million in income generating loans to 500 poor families in Queens, New York with a repayment rate of over 99%.

Wonderful!

[Rose]

Keep it going!

Mocha Moms, Inc. Celebrates Annual Black Marriage Day

Prince Georges County, MD - Mocha Moms, Inc., the national non-profit organization for mothers of color who have chosen not to work full-time outside the home in order to devote more time to their families and communities, will celebrate Black Marriage Day with a series of events to honor and cherish the richness of marriage throughout the country.

"It is important for us to recognize that we have been blessed with the beauty of marriage and to promote its benefits for ourselves and our children, particularly in the black community," says Dee Dee Jackson, national president of Mocha Moms, Inc.

Mocha Moms chapters will celebrate throughout March with gala events, including dinner, dancing and fellowship. The Mid-Atlantic region will host a celebration and discussion featuring authors of the book It's All Love -- Black Writers on Soul Mates, Family and Friends, a look at Black love in poetry, fiction and nonfiction.

Black Marriage Day was started in 2002 by the Wedded Bliss Foundation, a national non-profit organization that serves families and community groups, promoting healthy relationships and healthy marriages. Last year, Black Marriage Day was celebrated in the black community in more than 250 cities across the U.S. Its goal is to highlight the benefits of marriage, pay tribute to successful marriages and promote marriage in the black community.

"We are thrilled to continue the tradition of honoring Black Marriage Day," says Jackson. "Black marriages are not only alive, but flourishing."

The mission and purpose of Mocha Moms, Inc. is to support and encourage women of color who are making parenting a priority in this season in their lives. Its platform includes strengthening marriages and families, promoting self-care, strong educational foundations and volunteerism. Today, the fast growing national, non-profit organization has more than 100 chapters in 27 states throughout the country. Mocha Moms, Inc. welcomes people of all genders, religions, races, educational backgrounds, and income levels. Anyone who supports the mission of Mocha Moms, Inc. is welcome to join. Mocha Moms, Inc. has been featured on NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams, ABC's Nightline, Good Morning America and The Oprah Winfrey Show, as well as in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Los Angeles Times, Essence, Ebony and JET.

Mocha Moms, Inc. /Black Marriage Day Events:

March 14, 7 - 11pm: Jericho, N.Y. -- To purchase tickets, visit http://nymmgala.eventbrite.com

March 21, 7 - 12am: Buckhead, GA -- New York Life is a proud sponsor of this 2009 Black Marriage Day Gala. To purchase tickets, visit www.mochamoms.org

March 22, 7 - 10pm: New Orleans, LA -- Featured speaker, The Love Doctor, Lloyd Dennis. To purchase tickets, visit www.mochamoms.org

March 28, 7pm: Bowie, MD -- Meet some of the authors of It's All Love -- Black Writers on Soul Mates, Family and Friends, a look at Black love in poetry, fiction and nonfiction, including Marita Golden and Lonnae O'Neal Parker. Special guest speaker will be Pamela Brewer, psychologist and host of WPFW's "Mynd" Talk Show. For more information, visit www.mochamoms.org

Amen to that! We want Black marriages to flourish......I happy that there are groups like that to educate black men and women 'how to stay' married successfully without all the drama and violence.