Daddies, Daughters and Sexual Relationships

Originally Posted by Feyi

You think eight year old is small?

There was this story i heard. A mother discovered that her baby would stop crying anytime this uncle took her to his room. So anytime the baby started crying she would just give her to uncle to pacify.....She almost died the day she found out that uncle was pacifying her baby's by putting his penis in the baby mouth..........Can you beat that?

I heard this story too.

I can't even picture such a mess, comparing the diameter of a baby's mouth to that of a young/old man's sausage. That is cruelty. God sure created something for sure.

[rina]

Originally Posted by Feyi

You think eight year old is small?

There was this story i heard. A mother discovered that her baby would stop crying anytime this uncle took her to his room. So anytime the baby started crying she would just give her to uncle to pacify.....She almost died the day she found out that uncle was pacifying her baby's by putting his penis in the baby mouth..........Can you beat that?

Oh Lord have mercy. this story is a gory site to behold. if i were the mother oh lord help, i will circumsize the man the 2nd time. As a woman, i don't think i can allow my daughter to be carried by an uncle on the lap all in the name of playing with her. This reminds me of my elder sister who sternly warned her daughters never to allow any uncle to carry them. Good woman she is.

Originally Posted by rina

Oh Lord have mercy. this story is a gory site to behold. if i were the mother oh lord help, i will circumsize the man the 2nd time. As a woman, i don't think i can allow my daughter to be carried by an uncle on the lap all in the name of playing with her. This reminds me of my elder sister who sternly warned her daughters never to allow any uncle to carry them. Good woman she is.

That carrying on the "lap" is one I cannot stand at all. I watched a dude in Nigeria do that to a young girl pretending to be playing. The dude had some king-sized erection after the playing session for real. I had to personally speak to her mother of this girl. It was obvious that there was the basic lack of education to this little girl. I also made the man understand that there are some kinds of play that are not cool with little girls. He never showed up after that. You can only imagine if you had this one as a driver or cook or whatever in your home with little girls in it.

This dude was just rocking away with this 5 year old on his "laps", touching her chest and tickling the little girl. What did she know....she was just having an 'inocent' good time.This dude was in his 30s.....


Infact to cut long story short...every little girl should be taken to a doctor every year to check for sexual abuse.....YES! AS PART OF THE ANNUAL PHYSICAL. Tell them too why. So they know that it is in their own best interest.

Funny story. The many escapades of Dewdrops.

I remember when I was like 7 or so....I missed the bus taking us home for "playing" around the school premises....wandered off into the nearby stores looking for fancy pens and pencils to steal of course.......Yeah.....I was a pediatric shop lifter those days... It was a bus for the arranged to pick up all the kids in that neighborhood and I got left behind in an empty school building....having returned from my "sight-seeing" tour. I just sat there and waited. I described my house and a young lady(thank God) who just could not bear the thought of me being there alone after school hours(gone are those days where it took a village to raise a child....nowadays, I would definitely have ended up in a ritualist's pot to do merecine for money) .....she took me home to my mom who was a teacher and had returned from school too. Dad was still at work. 2 of my mom's siblings living with us were on the way to school to search for me having discovered I was left behind.

My father furious as hell(did not even wait till the next day)....marched me straight to the family doctor's house to have me examined. Nobody explained anything to me. The dear doctor got his flashlight and looked at my ar$$ real good to make sure.....that eeeerrrr I remember vividly... Years later I understood. I was being examined for "suspicious" activites.

So now.....when I take mine to the doctor....I do the same thing too....but I have explained to them that it is just routine to make sure "they were being good". With boys you really can't tell much...but with girls....the signs are obvious. No secrets....they know why....for their own protection.

[shinycoin]

I know i've heard of gory stories but never experienced any first hand and i pray i never do.

sometimes when women divorce their husbands, it may not be unconnected with the fact that the man may be a pedophile; practicing either on the kids he had with her, or on her kids with another man. this is terrible and quite disgusting and no other name to call it.

As a man, am quite ashamed when i hear and read of stories like this, because it puts me in a bad light and makes me wonder if other mom's may keep their little daughters away from me because of the stories they may have heard about uncles doing stuff to their nieces.

I have a four year old niece and i know i hug her and plant a kiss on her fore head. i make sure i never go beyond her fore head and do so when the mom is present so there would be no room for any sort of misunderstanding in the future. i stopped giving her a bath when she became three years old and when she calls me to wipe her after she uses the toilet, i make sure i call the mom to do the honours, for the very same reason.

Basically, one should steer clear of trouble and any and every opportunity of trouble, it only takes one chance for yawa to gas, and why give the devil the chance to plant evil in your mind?

Such men should be prosecuted and put away, naija should surely develop an advanced sex education program and enlighten young people on the dangers of male relatives, fathers inclusive.

Na God go help us men, sometimes!!

Men should not be left alone with little girls.....period. Father or not! I dey watch my own like hawk.....to make sure well well. Thank God all my children can talk now and those "dangerous" phases are over. Now you can leave them anywhere and you are confident nothing will happen because they have been well-educated regarding such matters. Now you switch the focus of the sex education from "how not to be a victim" to "how not to be a perpetrator" I now focus on why they should not "play'" with each other and their cousins. Also, why they should not "play" with little kids in 'funny' ways. Lots of videos to watch too....lots of role acting scenarios.

The ages of 2 to 10 for little girls especially are very "delicate".....that is why I love my baby "gbeboruns"(parrots). Before anything happen....dem don stand for road begin dey shout....no secrets at all. Just chatter boxes like their parents.....you will definitely know something is up.....these kids are not capable of keeping such secrets or laying down to play dead or 'inocentee' for any mofo at all. They are 'terrorists' themselves. Thank God for that!

[Ph3y]

These issues are not limited to daughters & daddies alone. I heard of a lady who lost her husband early in the marriage and guess what?? She replaced him with her son....They slept on the same bed everyday till the guy grew up. And he took his father's place on top of her as well........Talk of sick woman.....

New thread coming up: Sons, Mothers and Sexual Relationships.....please take a seat.

[shinycoin]

Church condemns abortion for raped girl, 9
Stuart Grudgings, Reuters; With Files From Agence France-Presse
Published: Friday, March 06, 2009

www.nationalpost.ca

Brazil's health minister accused the Roman Catholic Church yesterday of an "extreme" and "inadequate" position in opposing an abortion for a nine-year-old girl suspected of having been raped by her stepfather.

Doctors in the northeastern city of Recife performed the abortion on Wednesday after deciding the girl could have died if her pregnancy with twins was allowed to continue.

According to media reports, the child was nearly four-months pregnant.

Jose Cardoso Sobrinho, the Archbishop of Olinda and Recife, criticized the decision as against "the law of God" and excommunicated her mother, the doctors and other people involved in the abortion.

"I believe the position of the Church is extreme, radical and inadequate," Jose Gomes Temporao, the Health Minister, said on a government radio program.

"I am shocked by the radical position of this religion which, wrongly saying it is defending a life, puts another life in danger that is as important as any other."

Mr. Temporao, who has frequently challenged the Church on issues from abortions to the government's supply of free condoms, defended the doctors' decision to perform the procedure, saying they had acted "strictly within the law."

Abortion is illegal in Brazil, which has more Catholics than any other nation.

However, exceptions are allowed in cases of rape and when the mother's life would be endangered by giving birth.

Olimpio Moraes, one of the doctors involved in the abortion, said the girl's circumstances had met both exceptions to the country's abortion ban.

"As doctors, we could not allow a girl of nine to suffer like this or until she paid with her own life," he said.

The pregnancy was discovered last week when the slender girl complained of pain. Doctors said her life was at risk because of her young age and because she was carrying twins.

The Web site of the newspaper Globo reported police as saying the stepfather had admitted sexually abusing the girl since she was six years old.

The man also allegedly sexually abused the girl's physically handicapped 14-year-old sister.

He was arrested a week ago and is being kept in protective custody. If convicted, he faces up to 15 years in prison.

The newspaper also reported that another girl, aged 11, was being looked after in a hospital in southern Brazil after being found to be seven months' pregnant following alleged sexual abuse at the hands of her adoptive father.

That suspect, 51, turned himself into police in February.

He told officers he had had sexual relations once with his adopted daughter, at her initiative, according to the police chief for the town of Irai, Antonio Maieron.

The nine-year-old girl would not have been the youngest person to become pregnant.

A five-year-old Peruvian girl is recorded in case annals as having given birth in 1939

[Alexa]

I know this thread is about daddies and daughters but mommies too are guilty of molesting their daughters.Very often the things mommies/aunts/older girl cousins do to daughters are not heard because people do not give it much thought but fact is,it happens.Many children are told that the man is the 'enemy',to 'beware of the man' but little is said about female predators who are out there preying on little girls,so when these molestations happen to little girls they keep quiet because no one has told them it is reportable.What we end up having as a society is girls that grow up with plenty of sexual identity/confusion issues.It is very sad,I tell you.

[2plus2]

Dewdrops you have echoed many things that I would have said.

http://www.projectalertnig.org/index.html . I am pasting the link of Project Alert Violence Against Women, run by Josephine Effah-Chukwuma. If anyone doubts that there is incest in Nigeria, they should please have a word with Josy. She is also a UK qualified counsellor and runs training programmes as well.

The level of sexual based violence against young girls of any class in Nigeria ia astounding. Every prat feels they have a legitimate right to "finger, touch, rub" etc any child under 18 year - especially female. It is heartbreaking the level of ignorance by parents who never ever believe that their so called mad relatives are capable of such violence against their young charges.

My dear, I watch my daughter like a hawk. I thaught her a mantra her body is the temple of god and no one is allowed to make her feel uncomfortable or do anthing she knows is wrong. I then defined the places no one has a right to touch. We all know those places. Infact, when she started swimming she gave the swimming coach at Ikoyi club one hard slap becuase he lifted her up by touching her bottom onto the ledge. He has never done that again, but I was sooooo proud that she was not sacred to do that. Unfortunately for me, she has a real african buttom and as you know all those pervy men will be ogling her. Have drummed it into her head that no one is allowed to smack, pinch or touch her bum. She should wack the person, then start screaming at the top of her lungs. Sad thing is my daughter is 5 years. I worry about the skills I am having to impart to her given the pervy nature of the community we are in. Trust me, some of the men do not know or understand the clear boundaries of what is acceptable behaviour and what is not acceptable.

I could go on and on, but if you have duaghters, I believe you should start from the time they can understand their bodies, around 3 years. They can talk then.

Because I work in the sector and had had an earful of weird and stressful stories, I just went a little do-lally. For both my children my son who is 12 years and my daughter.

The laws do not work, the courts all want the families to settle themselves, there's no counselling for the victims except organised religion which if not done properly just compounds the situation and problem.

[peterosa]

Originally Posted by Mutti

I am raising this issue in this forum because I think it concerns us women more but the men are welcome to comment too.

A mother narrated how she came upon her husband in his study with his tongue deep in the throat of his 16 year old daughter. He insisted that nothing more than the deep french kissing had gone on betwen them but that did not stop her from taking steps to check with a doctor who confirmed that her daughter the last of three children 2 boys and one girl was till 'intact'

Daughter has always been a serious daddy's girl and they had long conversations for as long as mummy could remember. She never saw anything wrong with and why should she? After this is his daughter! Daughter was the quiet type showing more interest in books than interactions with others her age or even TV so it was easy to understand that she did not know that daddy had just crossed a line. His explanation was that she looked so much like mum at that age he just could not resist. I wonder how much further he would have gone, given the right conditions.

Anyway there are plenty of stories out there of daddies getting to know their girls in this special way. My question is at what point do we tell our girls that daddy is one of the men not allowed certain liberties with her and her body? Or do we just keep quiet trusting that our beloved can never be like that?

To me this question is some how because i see no reason why a man should be deprive of his free liberty with her doughter,to me is only a man with mental illment that will have an erection on her doughter

Originally Posted by peterosa

To me this question is some how because i see no reason why a man should be deprive of his free liberty with her daughter,to me is only a man with mental ailment that will have an erection on her daughter

Of course it is a mental ailment.....the reason it is called pedophilia. Many men/males only have the sickening affinity for little girls.....including their underage daughters, nieces and housemaids. Yes, a father should have free access to his daughter but every woman should screen him for 'kinky' habits. For example, if a father insists on giving his daughter a bath every night without anyone present.....to show her how to wash this and that...........I would be concerned.

No father should put himself in any compromising situation that makes him 'suspect' to pedophilia tendencies.

No woman should suspect her husband or 'baby daddy' or male relative.....but she should develop a 'keen' sense of awareness ALWAYS as to when things are not 'quite right' when interactions are observed between little girls and male relatives around. She cannot be too trusting, since we know that these things happen.

Free access does not mean 'unnecessary touching' either. He can't be too "fixated" on her either.

[peterosa]

[QUOTE=Dewdrops;334479]Of course it is a mental ailment.....the reason it is called pedophilia. Many men/males only have the sickening affinity for little girls.....including their underage daughters, nieces and housemaids. Yes, a father should have free access to his daughter but every woman should screen him for 'kinky' habits. For example, if a father insists on giving his daughter a bath every night without anyone present.....to show her how to wash this and that...........I would be concerned.

No father should put himself in any compromising situation that makes him 'suspect' to pedophilia tendenctrusting, since we know that these things happen.

Dear how will a father insist on giving his doughter bath every night when his wife is alive a woman should be left with women issue.

[Ph3y]

PeterOsa, Believe it or not but these things really happen.....Irrespective of how ridiculous they sound.

[Miss Tee]

Originally Posted by Dewdrops

New thread coming up: Sons, Mothers and Sexual Relationships.....please take a seat.

oh oh This should be a handfull of a thread...

[Miss Tee]

Originally Posted by Feyi

You think eight year old is small?

There was this story i heard. A mother discovered that her baby would stop crying anytime this uncle took her to his room. So anytime the baby started crying she would just give her to uncle to pacify.....She almost died the day she found out that uncle was pacifying her baby's by putting his penis in the baby mouth..........Can you beat that?

What the ****....my good Lord......was he shot dead on the spot...

[felziedoo]

Originally Posted by Miss Tee

What the ****....my good Lord......was he shot dead on the spot...

Won gbe titun de oooo! Villagers! Villagers! Villagers!.... My people help! Help!-Helep! na wa ooo Ehhhh!

[Obugi]

My question is at what point do we tell our girls that daddy is one of the men not allowed certain liberties with her and her body? Or do we just keep quiet trusting that our beloved can never be like that

My answer is "prevention is better than cure".

There was a time when children used to be in awe of their fathers. Remember when Papa would come home and everyone would run to their rooms and leave the parlor for him and Mama or his visitors to discuss adult issues. Children would dare not disturb a guest in the home, talk less of crawling into their laps to be carried. You dared not go into Daddy's/Mommy's bedroom unless you were going to get their shoes and polish them.

Men, especially fathers that are the subject of this thread, used to be considered above such things as bathing kids, baby sitting, wiping toddlers after they defecate, or attending teenage swimming contests and such. Men were too busy working, attending an important business meeting or hanging out with their friends. Some of those ways evolved for good reason, but at some point "modernity" started insisting that men must "get in touch with their feelings, be emotionally available to their daughters, show more physical affection....blah, blah, blah".....and that "real men" should ditch such a physical and emotional "hands off" posture.

I dare say that such aloofness prevented even the appearance of sexual impropriety, talk less of actual occurrence. Nigeria in particular, this whole thing about hugging and petting is starting to take hold. There was a time when men hardly hugged their wives in public, let alone hugging or kissing their daughters or other peoples kids. Kids would greet men with a 2 handed shake, just stand there and answer a couple of questions about school and "oh, look how tall you are!", that was it, go and play with "your mates". I think its time that men go back to such a standard of behavior. Leave "women and children" to their affairs and issues and all that touchy feely stuff.

And of course it goes without saying that many accusations of sexual impropriety are simply false. I've said it before that children as young as 3 know when they have power and (especially Western) society has chosen to turn children into weapons of male subjugation. People have been falsely accused, let's not forget that, the extent is debatable but the damage caused is real.

But that's America.

Infact, when she started swimming she gave the swimming coach at Ikoyi club one hard slap becuase he lifted her up by touching her bottom onto the ledge. He has never done that again, but I was sooooo proud that she was not sacred to do that. -

No self respecting man should have anything to do with swim lessons for pre-pubescent kids in Nigeria, yes I blame him for that, poverty dey show man pepper for Nigeria. All the same, no matter what the man did, a child shouldn't slap him or any other adult.

Unfortunately for me, she has a real african buttom and as you know all those pervy men will be ogling her. Have drummed it into her head that no one is allowed to smack, pinch or touch her bum. She should wack the person, then start screaming at the top of her lungs. - 2plus2

If you are this paranoid about men preying on your daughter, you should have taken the simple precaution of seeking out a female swim coach, or better yet teach her yourself. Why put her 5yr old "real African bottom" in close proximity to any man? Any parent that is proud of their child deploying physical force upon provocation should pray that the child never meets people who are willing and able to take violence to its ultimate conclusion. When it comes to violence, it doesn't matter who is right or wrong, it just matters who ends up dead.

I pity people who have to work with kids these days. The insult is too much. Poverty is indeed a sin, which is why I say get money any way you can.

In all issues, prevention is better than cure.

! Get Yours !
Obugi.

No self respecting man should have anything to do with swim lessons for pre-pubescent kids in Nigeria, yes I blame him for that, poverty dey show man pepper for Nigeria.



Why put her 5yr old "real African bottom" in close proximity to any man?

han han han han han han han

Originally Posted by peterosa

Dear how will a father insist on giving his daughter bath every night when his wife is alive a woman should be left with women issue.

It takes two to raise a child darling. Daddies can change diapers, feed and bathe children too because mommy works. Besides, daddy has to make sure he is close to the home to make sure I am NOT the pedophile in the house. Since woman can also molest little boys. We just have to ensure that we are acting in the best interest of the children ALWAYS....and it take 2 people in a marriage to do that.

You might not want a 'career' woman according to you...but in this day and age where women are also pedophiles...it is in your best interest to make sure your sons/daughters are not being molested by your wife/househelps too. If you do not help to take care of your children, how would you find out?

You will be surprised what some men do darling. Of course it is okay for a man to give his daughter a bath......just saying that if he becomes pre-occupied with such a thing or my little girl always insists that her dad gives her a bath(and he agrees and does not want to share the chore)....I would really be suspicious. Just like if my little girl/boy always insists I give her/him a bath and never my husband....don't you think the man should raise an eyebrow? As a man, I would feel left out. But I would also want to satisfy my curiosity that I was not doing something 'wrong' she/he did not like. Children usually love one parent more than the other for one reason or the other....and that is fine with me. I just want to make sure that it does not have to do with the exposure to 'sick' games....of which this child has taken a liking to.