The Problems with GUYS:

rina · Sep 29, 2009 , 11:42 AM

If you TREAT him nicely, he says you are in Love with him and sometimes he takes advantage of your kindness;
If you don’t, he says you are Proud and assuming to be very pretty....
If you Dress nicely, he says you are trying to lure him;
If you don’t, he says you are from faraway village or you're not IN...
If you argue with him, he says you are Stubborn;
If you keep Quite, he says you have no Brains...
If you are Smarter than him, he'll Lose face and get insecure;
If he is Smarter than you, he is Great....
If you don’t Love him, he tries to possess you;
If you Love him, he will try to Leave you, and make you chase him badly*(very true uhhh??heheh^^)
If you don't Make Love with him, he says you don't Love him; or worse, he'll doubt your sexuality... (It's a blackmail so don't give in)
If you do!!!! He says you are Cheap or S-L-_-T...
If you tell him your Problem, he says you are Troublesome;
If you don't, he says you don't TRUST him...
If you SCOLD him, you are strict or you're like a Nanny to him;
If he scolds you, it is because he Cares for you and he knows what's good for you...
If you Break your Promise, you cannot be Trusted;
If he breaks his, he is FORCED to do so and say some excuses...

Abi na lie? Ladies in the house attest to this.

Babine · Sep 29, 2009 , 11:49 AM

Originally Posted by rina

If you TREAT him nicely, he says you are in Love with him and sometimes he takes advantage of your kindness;

Especially a "typical" buuuuuuuuuush African one, being a victim of inequate parenting and suprevision for the most part of his childhood and most definitely the subsequent lack of the necessary and all-important exposure to adequate positive male role models. Extremely ungrateful and unappreciative for the most part. Solution? If he attempts to 'fcuk" you up or down/any which way....return the favor in advance by a ten-fold measure. Don't even let it start...you can't rehabilitate MOST of them...socially or anthropologically .....

If you don’t, he says you are Proud and assuming to be very pretty....

His business, not mine.....opinions are like shit holes...fine with me if people choose to eat with theirs' ............

If you Dress nicely, he says you are trying to lure him;

He should be grateful I even looked in his direction .....

If you don’t, he says you are from faraway village or you're not IN...

So? What stops him from getting his arse to the mall and sprucing me up, like I would have done for his 'bush' behind? He should put his money where his mouth and ego are....Does he not know the addresses of any Lagos or Abuja ready-made babes? Who sen am message? ..... Anyhoooooooooooo...thank God I am past the stage of 'training' new dogs to learn old tricks.

Sorry.....too bad you may get stuck with an 'Mgbeke' you do not love enough to 'put together' to your taste and making....sit there and complain, when your mates are putting their girlfriends and wives through medical /nursing schools.....the punishment you get for waiting till you are 35-50 years old to get married, while you keep jumping from pussy to pussy......enjoy ...........till you catch both acute and chronic 'gono' without cure, to fry all your sausage balls not even fit for woodpeckers at the road side do digest........Pastor Chris Okotie will live forever to give you the healing and annointing you need .....

If you argue with him, he says you are Stubborn;

Even the best of couples argue.....so what is his problem? Control freak.......always looking for some brainless cows to push around and massage his ego or what.....like his father did to his mother and all the females in his village or what? He should deal with it or shut the heck up jare....nonsense .....

If you keep Quite, he says you have no Brains...

There you go......serves you right. If you give them allow.....they take allowance ......

If you are Smarter than him, he'll Lose face and get insecure;

Too bad.....he needs to keep stepping then.....I will not miss him.....who says putting up with a retarded dude is easy? It is not all about deek size y'know? ........Brain size also counts.....It is not about him....but to spare the future gen-pop the propagation of useless species....we are talking quality not quantity please.....Please save Africa, it has enough problems with breeding spiritual dunces...thank you ......

If he is Smarter than you, he is Great....

No problem there......a little humility would go a long way to make him human......the children would be eternally grateful they do not have my dummy genes.......yeah right.....like anyone is completely usesless in this world?........ Any dofus would recognize that even in kindergarten.......

If you don’t Love him, he tries to possess you;

Yeah....some mothers do have 'em. Sadists I mean. Trying to possess someone who does not love you......we can only wish him all the best not so?........

If you Love him, he will try to Leave you, and make you chase him badly*(very true uhhh??heheh^^)

In his dreams........not all women are of the 'desparate' stock. He is smart enough to confine himself to the shallow end of the pool....lest he drowns........Some of us do NOT beg for love, honey or money....the moment you are not interested....we are toast.....I mean as in burnt up toast....smoking and setting off fire alarms......he needs to take the quickest exit please.....hopefully he would be good "enough" for something to remember him by.......no, 100% useless does not count......I don't think anyone is ........Love may be blind to the needy....but mine has horn-rimmed, bi-focals at all times. Just think of my love as a light switch, without the possibility of any power failure...ON FOR THOSE WHO WISH TO SEE MOI AND OFF FOR THOSE WHO DON'T......O' Israel to thy tent!.......Wetin consain the vulture witi barber sef kpa pka?......

If you don't Make Love with him, he says you don't Love him; or worse, he'll doubt your sexuality... (It's a blackmail so don't give in)

Like he has the monopoly to animalistic 'randiness' or something....this is the 21st century please......no one makes iyanga with a pussy or a deek.......you can pay for "it"(and a damn good one too) or plainly hook up for free without strings attached........helloooooo?.....who is zooming who please? Oh, my bad.....I forgot we are discussing the cases of the ever-so-chivalric African males with the everlasting Madonna-Whore complexes .......

If you do!!!! He says you are Cheap or S-L-_-T...

Fair enough......some of us pay the men.....let him go and look for some other teenage gal or socio-economically displaced female to pay her school fees/give green card/fruit of the womb and load yams, rice, plantains and palm oil on his okada...and peddle to her village to show off to her parents.....from this end.....my love don't cost a thing. Damn right....the cheapest he would ever get.....My parents have paid for my education in full. All he has to offer is drag his arse to the bed....so I can at least sample his goodies..........love can happen some 15 years later...when I actually find something to love ......

If you tell him your Problem, he says you are Troublesome;

Well......not that stupid. Never tell anyone your problems who is not in any position to solve 'em. Busy bodies always made lousy therapists.....Pastors included. Pay for a gooooooood shrink and get the right medications. Sound mental health should not be entrusted to quacks! .....

If you don't, he says you don't TRUST him...

Trust ke? Na im I still dey bubble liki dis? I don't even trust myself.....not to mention another human being with worse patho-physiological and emotional frailities than myself. I trust no one really.....not a prerequisite for happiness. Besides, we are all human and the need for trust does not arise. The only person you can trust with your money or your heart is a dead person. We all have limitations and that is okay. Sorry, dude...don't trust me....and I will not trust you. Just do your best to understand and we gonna be juuuuuuuuuuuust fine .........Sorry, not that religious ...... Not looking for salvation or redemption on behalf of mankind.....to whom it may concern please .......

If you SCOLD him, you are strict or you're like a Nanny to him;

I always get a kick out of MOST men who are actually over-grown babies trapped in adult bodies.....especially with humongous, super-retarded egos. Truth be told.....MEN never grow up.....so should be scolded. They are just kids or act worse than kids.....if the shoe fits....let them wear it. If the gloves fit.....don't acquit....RIP....Johnny Cockran. ........

If he scolds you, it is because he Cares for you and he knows what's good for you...

No problem......as long as he can take as much as he dishes out......Some of us are not the 'submitting' kinds......I would MOST-DEF get my two cents in before or after he is done for sure. Some of us only entertain/engage in equal partnership roles with dynamic changes in ALL relationships....no special order or spiritual 'head of the household' ego trips and don't do 'thank you baba' marriages or relationships ........

If you Break your Promise, you cannot be Trusted;

Oh lord forgive me, for I have sinned against your annointed on earth. Like I don't have the right to change my mind? If he were smart, he would learn to negotiate "nicely"....broken promise or not.......promises are meant to be broken reasonably.....especially if he is found to be unworthy ........

If he breaks his, he is FORCED to do so and say some excuses...

Whatever......kabiyesi. Like I really need the promised thingy that bad.....such things are important to kids....and not a matter of life and death to adults. Not that petty....I laugh it off. Not important in the grand scheme of things and definitely not that PETTY.......Life does not revolve around promises and oaths.....it more about having fun......I have long gotten over you and your promises darling. Keep those you can keep and I would be just as grateful...........just return the favor without bursting some hemmorhoids! .......

Abi na lie? Ladies in the house attest to this.

Yes O! We women have our own wahalas toooo......but not the topic under discussion......thank ya!

Absolutely correct.........All about double standards......

MEN....can't live without them.......can't shoot 'em!

Don't you just love 'em? ......

Oluwato · Sep 29, 2009 , 05:19 PM

Originally Posted by rina

If you TREAT him nicely, he says you are in Love with him and sometimes he takes advantage of your kindness;
If you don’t, he says you are Proud and assuming to be very pretty....
If you Dress nicely, he says you are trying to lure him;
If you don’t, he says you are from faraway village or you're not IN...
If you argue with him, he says you are Stubborn;
If you keep Quite, he says you have no Brains...
If you are Smarter than him, he'll Lose face and get insecure;
If he is Smarter than you, he is Great....
If you don’t Love him, he tries to possess you;
If you Love him, he will try to Leave you, and make you chase him badly*(very true uhhh??heheh^^)
If you don't Make Love with him, he says you don't Love him; or worse, he'll doubt your sexuality... (It's a blackmail so don't give in)
If you do!!!! He says you are Cheap or S-L-_-T...
If you tell him your Problem, he says you are Troublesome;
If you don't, he says you don't TRUST him...
If you SCOLD him, you are strict or you're like a Nanny to him;
If he scolds you, it is because he Cares for you and he knows what's good for you...
If you Break your Promise, you cannot be Trusted;
If he breaks his, he is FORCED to do so and say some excuses...

Abi na lie? Ladies in the house attest to this.

Tee hee hee, nice one

.

lateesha · Sep 29, 2009 , 06:10 PM

If he scolds you, it is because he Cares for you and he knows what's good for you...
If you Break your Promise, you cannot be Trusted;
If he breaks his, he is FORCED to do so and say some excuses...

Gbam!
That is a typical man for you

Auspicious · Oct 3, 2009 , 09:28 PM

+

Gosh, I love it when we indulge ourselves in a lirru bit of subjectivity!

Let's see what today's reading is about:

--

Subject: "The Problem with Gals"

Author: Mr. Some F. Dude; Bsc, MSc, PhD (Playboy Univ, 1969)

Also by the same Author:

WOMEN THROUGH MY GENIUS EYES: "How I sampled every woman born on Planet Earth and Beyond" (2009)

EXCERPTS:

If you treat her nicely, she finds your niceness "predictably boring".

If you don't treat her nice, she will call you "arrogantly mean and ungentlemanly".

If you are a 'natty' dresser, she says you're "too vain".

If you dress like Huckleberry Finn, her face turns to a bowl of porridge.

If you challenge her wrong views, she says you're "arguing like a woman".

If you agree with her, she moans that "you only said yes cuz you don't wanna be bothered". (*sigh!*)

If you correct her errors, she gets cranky and claims its "the time of the month"

If she's lucky to find the answer before you do, she'd gloat about it till Jesus comes (including during "the time of the month").

If you DON'T love her, she'd work to 'change your person' (or join a church and act holier than the Pope).

If you love her, she'd run after every other guy who'd use and dump her like "Tissue Paper".

If unattraction to her wouldn't let you touch her with your 'Magic Stick', she'd tell the world that you are either gay or an "okobo".

If your 'Magic Stick' shows her the way to the Moon and back in bed, she'd say you're a Horny Bastaard.

If you like her enough to confess your insecurities to her, she's say you're too much of a Sissy.

If you keep a 'manly'

resolve and reveal little to her, she'd say you're "not romantic".

If you are STERN whenever the need arises, she'd cry "Nhwaahn, you make me cry! Boo-hoo, hoo, hoooo! "

If SHE goes on an endless psychobabble over inanities, "yo black arse deserve all that and mo'!".

When you break a promise, she smacks yo hand and goes "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

When SHE breaks a promise, she's like "Baby my KKpoyon hurts, would you please have a look at it?"

(Which, the sorry KKpoyonguy that I am, I always succumb to! AAARGH!)
---

Some 'interesting' book there, wow!

Auspicious.

liloldlady · Oct 3, 2009 , 09:45 PM

Originally Posted by Babine

If you TREAT him nicely, he says you are in Love with him and sometimes he takes advantage of your kindness;

Especially a "typical" buuuuuuuuuush African one, being a victim of inequate parenting and suprevision for the most part of his childhood and most definitely the subsequent lack of the necessary and all-important exposure to adequate positive male role models. Extremely ungrateful and unappreciative for the most part. Solution? If he attempts to 'fcuk" you up or down/any which way....return the favor in advance by a ten-fold measure. Don't even let it start...you can't rehabilitate MOST of them...socially or anthropologically .....

If you don’t, he says you are Proud and assuming to be very pretty....

His business, not mine.....opinions are like shit holes...fine with me if people choose to eat with theirs' ............

If you Dress nicely, he says you are trying to lure him;

He should be grateful I even looked in his direction .....

If you don’t, he says you are from faraway village or you're not IN...

So? What stops him from getting his arse to the mall and sprucing me up, like I would have done for his 'bush' behind? He should put his money where his mouth and ego are....Does he not know the addresses of any Lagos or Abuja ready-made babes? Who sen am message? ..... Anyhoooooooooooo...thank God I am past the stage of 'training' new dogs to learn old tricks.

Sorry.....too bad you may get stuck with an 'Mgbeke' you do not love enough to 'put together' to your taste and making....sit there and complain, when your mates are putting their girlfriends and wives through medical /nursing schools.....the punishment you get for waiting till you are 35-50 years old to get married, while you keep jumping from pussy to pussy......enjoy ...........till you catch both acute and chronic 'gono' without cure, to fry all your sausage balls not even fit for woodpeckers at the road side do digest........Pastor Chris Okotie will live forever to give you the healing and annointing you need .....

If you argue with him, he says you are Stubborn;

Even the best of couples argue.....so what is his problem? Control freak.......always looking for some brainless cows to push around and massage his ego or what.....like his father did to his mother and all the females in his village or what? He should deal with it or shut the heck up jare....nonsense .....

If you keep Quite, he says you have no Brains...

There you go......serves you right. If you give them allow.....they take allowance ......

If you are Smarter than him, he'll Lose face and get insecure;

Too bad.....he needs to keep stepping then.....I will not miss him.....who says putting up with a retarded dude is easy? It is not all about deek size y'know? ........Brain size also counts.....It is not about him....but to spare the future gen-pop the propagation of useless species....we are talking quality not quantity please.....Please save Africa, it has enough problems with breeding spiritual dunces...thank you ......

If he is Smarter than you, he is Great....

No problem there......a little humility would go a long way to make him human......the children would be eternally grateful they do not have my dummy genes.......yeah right.....like anyone is completely usesless in this world?........ Any dofus would recognize that even in kindergarten.......

If you don’t Love him, he tries to possess you;

Yeah....some mothers do have 'em. Sadists I mean. Trying to possess someone who does not love you......we can only wish him all the best not so?........

If you Love him, he will try to Leave you, and make you chase him badly*(very true uhhh??heheh^^)

In his dreams........not all women are of the 'desparate' stock. He is smart enough to confine himself to the shallow end of the pool....lest he drowns........Some of us do NOT beg for love, honey or money....the moment you are not interested....we are toast.....I mean as in burnt up toast....smoking and setting off fire alarms......he needs to take the quickest exit please.....hopefully he would be good "enough" for something to remember him by.......no, 100% useless does not count......I don't think anyone is ........Love may be blind to the needy....but mine has horn-rimmed, bi-focals at all times. Just think of my love as a light switch, without the possibility of any power failure...ON FOR THOSE WHO WISH TO SEE MOI AND OFF FOR THOSE WHO DON'T......O' Israel to thy tent!.......Wetin consain the vulture witi barber sef kpa pka?......

If you don't Make Love with him, he says you don't Love him; or worse, he'll doubt your sexuality... (It's a blackmail so don't give in)

Like he has the monopoly to animalistic 'randiness' or something....this is the 21st century please......no one makes iyanga with a pussy or a deek.......you can pay for "it"(and a damn good one too) or plainly hook up for free without strings attached........helloooooo?.....who is zooming who please? Oh, my bad.....I forgot we are discussing the cases of the ever-so-chivalric African males with the everlasting Madonna-Whore complexes .......

If you do!!!! He says you are Cheap or S-L-_-T...

Fair enough......some of us pay the men.....let him go and look for some other teenage gal or socio-economically displaced female to pay her school fees/give green card/fruit of the womb and load yams, rice, plantains and palm oil on his okada...and peddle to her village to show off to her parents.....from this end.....my love don't cost a thing. Damn right....the cheapest he would ever get.....My parents have paid for my education in full. All he has to offer is drag his arse to the bed....so I can at least sample his goodies..........love can happen some 15 years later...when I actually find something to love ......

If you tell him your Problem, he says you are Troublesome;

Well......not that stupid. Never tell anyone your problems who is not in any position to solve 'em. Busy bodies always made lousy therapists.....Pastors included. Pay for a gooooooood shrink and get the right medications. Sound mental health should not be entrusted to quacks! .....

If you don't, he says you don't TRUST him...

Trust ke? Na im I still dey bubble liki dis? I don't even trust myself.....not to mention another human being with worse patho-physiological and emotional frailities than myself. I trust no one really.....not a prerequisite for happiness. Besides, we are all human and the need for trust does not arise. The only person you can trust with your money or your heart is a dead person. We all have limitations and that is okay. Sorry, dude...don't trust me....and I will not trust you. Just do your best to understand and we gonna be juuuuuuuuuuuust fine .........Sorry, not that religious ...... Not looking for salvation or redemption on behalf of mankind.....to whom it may concern please .......

If you SCOLD him, you are strict or you're like a Nanny to him;

I always get a kick out of MOST men who are actually over-grown babies trapped in adult bodies.....especially with humongous, super-retarded egos. Truth be told.....MEN never grow up.....so should be scolded. They are just kids or act worse than kids.....if the shoe fits....let them wear it. If the gloves fit.....don't acquit....RIP....Johnny Cockran. ........

If he scolds you, it is because he Cares for you and he knows what's good for you...

No problem......as long as he can take as much as he dishes out......Some of us are not the 'submitting' kinds......I would MOST-DEF get my two cents in before or after he is done for sure. Some of us only entertain/engage in equal partnership roles with dynamic changes in ALL relationships....no special order or spiritual 'head of the household' ego trips and don't do 'thank you baba' marriages or relationships ........

If you Break your Promise, you cannot be Trusted;

Oh lord forgive me, for I have sinned against your annointed on earth. Like I don't have the right to change my mind? If he were smart, he would learn to negotiate "nicely"....broken promise or not.......promises are meant to be broken reasonably.....especially if he is found to be unworthy ........

If he breaks his, he is FORCED to do so and say some excuses...

Whatever......kabiyesi. Like I really need the promised thingy that bad.....such things are important to kids....and not a matter of life and death to adults. Not that petty....I laugh it off. Not important in the grand scheme of things and definitely not that PETTY.......Life does not revolve around promises and oaths.....it more about having fun......I have long gotten over you and your promises darling. Keep those you can keep and I would be just as grateful...........just return the favor without bursting some hemmorhoids! .......

Abi na lie? Ladies in the house attest to this.

Babine...chei, na waa O...you get 'issues' wit our boys so?
They are not as Bad as you make out you know.

Babine · Oct 3, 2009 , 11:21 PM

Originally Posted by liloldlady

Babine...chei, na waa O...you get 'issues' wit our boys so?
They are not as Bad as you make out you know.

Ooooh yes! I have seeeeerious issues with 'our' boys O!.....I have been around them proper proper.....

Who says they are bad? You just learn to put them in their places if they present with any 'freshness' that's all....Never give them the chance to grow some stupid wings.

Don't mind all these ones typing 'pleasantries' on NVS...just go and spend 1 week with them or let their wives/girlfriends or baby mommas come and give testimonies....he he he.....

You go bow.....

Attitude is everything baby....that way, only the best dare come around....leave the chaff for women who deserve them.

peterosa · Oct 4, 2009 , 06:58 PM

RINA I thought has much,All the same since you know all these things becareful not to loose your man to the foolish type.

liloldlady · Oct 4, 2009 , 07:06 PM

Originally Posted by Babine

Ooooh yes! I have seeeeerious issues with 'our' boys O!.....I have been around them proper proper.....

Who says they are bad? You just learn to put them in their places if they present with any 'freshness' that's all....Never give them the chance to grow some stupid wings.

Don't mind all these ones typing 'pleasantries' on NVS...just go and spend 1 week with them or let their wives/girlfriends or baby mommas come and give testimonies....he he he.....

You go bow.....Attitude is everything baby....that way, only the best dare come around....leave the chaff for women who deserve them.

Dem are still betta dan di wans, wey dey for dis NVS, way wan make we hansa dem Sir,carry salary give dem on pay day, on account of sey dem be man....